Bout To Get Myself Cancelled...but Please Read To The End Or You Won't Understand...

bout to get myself cancelled...but please read to the end or you won't understand...

Hey, hi! Ok so, this post may be considered offensive to a lot of people, and to be honest, I don't even want to say it at all. I'm scared and worried and I'd rather shut up, sit back, and watch but I can't. I can't because I was called to say this by my God and as much as I want to not say it, I kinda have no right to deny him.

Ok so first of all, I want to make a full disclosure that I mean no ill will at all. I can understand the feelings of those who read this because I too have dabbled in the exact same thing before. Please read the whole thing before you say anything, because I promise it isn't the arguement you think it'll be.

I will not be judging nor slandering any individual nor group and will simply be explaining the mindset of christianity to society. I feel that there is a big misunderstanding in the world right now and at first I was going to simply let it be as it did not involve me. However, God keeps calling me to speak about it and I'd rather be cancelled online than cancelled by a literal divine being.

So, ONCE AGAIN, I AM ONLY EXPLAINING THE REASONINGS, MENTALITY, AND ALSO A MESSAGE TO CHRISTIANS AND NON BELIEVERS. I AM NOT BASHING NOR JUDGING ANYBODY. READ THE FULL THING OR YOU WON'T GET THE FULL PICTURE AND I PROMISE IF YOU DON'T, IT WILL LOOK LIKE A HORRIBLE AND UGLY ONE.

You have been warned.

________________________________

For a long time, those of the LGBTQ minority have been opressed and wrongly treated by not just non believers but by many other religouns as well. In their place, I sincerly apologize. They had and still have no right to opress anyone and judge them in such a horrible way. Everybody is equal. We all have our differences, but with it we are equal. That garbage man? Equal. The leader of a country? Equal. That murderer? Equal. I know, why the murderer right? Well, they were created and molded by the lord himself and in their lungs he breathed the breath of life. They are God's children, therfore, they are equal.

As equals, nobody has the right to claim themselves worthy to judge someone else. For every "wrong" thing with the person you judge, there is one for you as well. Only someone who is perfect can judge and that would be someone who never sins. Someone who doesn't make mistakes. Someone who is just and holy. Someone like God. Too many people have tried to claim this title without even realizing it. Because of that, people of all kinds have been opressed and shunned. For that, I apologize for them.

In those God wannabe groups, christians are very involved. We constantly judge others in the name of our God but we have no right to do so. This has caused many misunderstandings on BOTH sides of this coin. So God has called me, this coward and excuse of a christian to tell you his word. Both have misuderstood, and so both need to hear this. Christians, atheists, and every other religoun. Even if you do not want to turn to God, though it would be awsome if you did, that is not really what this post is about. It is simply and honestly here to clear misunderstanding.

Like I said before, the LGBTQ community have been horribly treated and still are, though in less severity, being treated in such ways by others today. The people who due to religoun are opposed to their ways obviously being the worst of them all. Chritstians vs. LGBTQ...why? Why does it have to be like that? God never intended this bickering and fighting nor did he intend this sitting back on the bleachers and watching people tear eachother apart cuz your too scared to get involved. Intention matters. For someone who is perfect, it matters.

So as christians constantly bash and scorn those who are LGBTQ, those who are LQBTQ mock those who believe in God, and those who are lukewarm and don't know how to respond in the face of either group, I have sat back and watched. It's ugly. It's really really REALLY ugly. I was too scared to say a thing.

I understood what the LGBTQ community felt. I've seen girls before and all I could think was "Wow. I could imagine her as my girlfriend so bad rn." I've prefered woman to men before, though it was subconciously, I knew. If I did not believe in my Lord God, I would be a bisexual, she/they, demisexual queen. But I also had the obligations to uphold my father's wishes as a Christian like everyone else. In the middle, what do I do? Many people have been in this situation. Many haven't. Those who have, are stuck in the middle. Lukewarm. Those who haven't, are cold or hot.

The reasons that christains don't agree with LGBTQ is because the Lord has forbidden it. Many christians and non christians use the excuse, "If all people were gay, there would be no more children in the world!" This is false. You could have a sperm donor. You could donate your body for pregnancy. You could impregnate someone and then raise the child with your significant other. Adopt. It's solvable. However, this creates problems. What if the woman wants to keep her child? What if the husband resents the child for not being his? What if the woman does not properly love the child because she knows it is not hers? Those issues could arise. But that is not the true reason God says no to LGBTQ.

I mean, yes they are reasons, but the real one is because it was not as he intended. It does not hurt anybody, so how can it be wrong? I get it. I've been there.

You have a rock collection. Each one is special and in it's own way, beautiful. You painted each and every one of these rocks. That one is pink. That one is blue. That one is brown. That one is green. They are all perfectly created. They are as they should be. You place them in an order. The pink ones go next to the green ones. The blue ones go with the yellow. It makes a beautiful color order. But then someone takes your collection and repaints the rocks. The blue one turned purple. The pink one turned green. The yellow is orange AND red. It was not as you wanted. It was not as you left it. But that wasn't all. They changed the order too. The one that used to be yellow is with the greens now. The pink with pink and the brown with brown, Colors you never created are with eachother now too. But nobody got hurt. Everyone is ok. The rocks are unharmed. But they are no longer how you intended. You spent 5 hours painting that rock blue. The perfect shade for that specific rock. Now it is pink. But nobody is hurt. You placed that yellow one next to the blue one. But now the beautiful contrast is gone. It is now paired with the green. Nobody is hurt. But it is not how you intended. The person responsible looks at you and says they like it better this way. They say you made a mistake making that one green and that it should be pink instead. That the yellow should be with the pinks and not the blues. Nobody is hurt. But it is no longer how you intended. Nobody is hurt. But it is no longer perfect. Nobody is hurt. But you made a "mistake". Nobody was hurt. But you wasted 5 hours painting. Nobody is hurt. But you, someone who knows color theory and has been making these rocks for years was just told by a person who knows nothing about it and has never made these rocks before that you did it....wrong. But nobody is hurt so it is good.

With this analogy, can you imagine the feelings of the Lord? Imagine making every single rock with care and perfection. Now imagine them changing it. Now imagine them saying you made a mistake. Now imagine them saying those delicate strokes, each brush stroke perfectly angled to make a different and beautiful pattern each time were wrong. Now imagine that with us. God COULD just force us to be the gender he intended. God COULD just force us to love who he wants us to love. God COULD force us to follow him. God COULD force us to do anything. But he doesn't. He gifted us with the gift of choice and free will. We would be robots otherwise. We would feel what he wants us to feel. We would do what he wants us to do. Not because of love but because we have to. And he wants love. Obedience because we love him.

God doesn't want us to change the way he intended it to go. God does not make mistakes. He does not make bad decisions. This is the true reason he does not favor LGBTQ. Not the people, he favors them for they are his children, but the sin. Not only did he not intend it to be this way, he said so in the bible. With that being said, it would also count as dieobedience and purposefully turning from him.

Now before I get cancelled and stoned online, I have yet to finish this loooong text. I have explained to those who do not obey the lord. Now I must adress those who think they do...

Do you know everything? Are you all seeing and all knowing? Do you have everything put together? Are you perfect? Are you God? No. You are his child. Do not discriminate and scorn your siblings but do not sit back and watch them unkowingly walk into a lions den. Warn them of the dangers. Warn them of the reasons. But in a respectful way. Let them know what they could be getting into but in a kind way. Let your reasonings not be of judgment and self proclaiming, but of love and truth. Do not force the Lord upon them. But do not withhold him from them either.

Too many christians I have seen that look in disgust of those who are LQBTQ and too many I have seen that are scared to even call themselves a christian in front of a queer person. We are all sinners. We have no room to judge. We make a bad name for ourselves and wonder why we are judged in return. Why should anyone walk in fear? Gay, trans, queer, crossdressers, allies, asexuals, christians, musslums, jews, atheists, any other religoun or beliefs. We are all children of God even if not all of us realize it. As someone who has been blessed the wisdom of the Lord, christians, stop being rude and discriminatory. Do not make them walk in fear. Atheists, stop mocking those of the christian belief as well as any other belief. LGBTQ, understand that not all christians are out to bite you. Everyone, please just be kind to eachother. Love and respect eachother.

All we can do is agree to disagree. If our warnings fall on deaf ears, do not jam a hearing aid into their face and start screaming at them. It just makes them turn farther from God. If you do not agree with us, please do not mock us like we are idiots. If we do not agree, then we can do nothing. It is not our jobs. It is not your jobs. It is our jobs to love and to follow the way of the lord the way he wants. With humility, humblness, and love. Not hate, judgment, and pride.

So for those who decide to cancel me today, I rest my case. I pleade guilty. I am guilty. I have done what needs to be done and said what needed to be said. I hope both sides understand now and no longer have to be at eachother's doorstep with a buttload of disrespect and hate. Once again, there is no judgment nor ill will in this message. I understand both sides. I have been on both sides. I was lukewarm but with my christian awakening, I have chosen to be hot. You can be hot without burning everything you touch. I will not apologize for my beliefs. I will not pretend to not have one. I'm sorry if this is considered rude to anybody, but not for what I said. So, yeah. Thank you for those who read. Love you ALL. Bye đź«° :)

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SUCK IT

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I've been constantly worried and stressed at school, I'm on a time crunch to figure out what I'm going to do once I graduate, I've just practically broke my neck, I'm in a lot of pain, I'm in an art block, I'm tired, not just physically though that too, I'm tired of everything and I just want the world to end already so I can go home and be with God, I keep having scary nightmares about dying and having my family killed before my eyes at night, I just had a huge fight with my mom AGAIN because of the same issue we have been struggling with since I was born, the one place I actually feel safe enough to be my natural self without people misunderstanding me and seeing me as weird and loud and stupid and crazy and nonsensical and random and particular and annoying has started to be the place where I am told the most that there is a problem with me, the people I trusted enough to be me with keep telling me I'm not trusting them enough because I'm not morphing myself to fit their wants, the only safe place I ever had is becoming my source of stress and anxiety, I have nobody but God to lean on, and self doubt and only God knows the thoughts I've had and only God is the reason I haven't gone off the wire and done irreversable damage to others or mainly myself.

Things keep happening. I keep getting hurt physically and mentaly. Is this is what people call spirtual warfare? Is this my test? Is this my season as Job? Cuz if so I am ACING it! HAHAHA IF SATAN THOUGHT THAT HURT ME, IT BROUGHT ME CLOSER TO THE SPIRIT. THE LORD IS HEALING MY NECK. THE LORD IS HELPING ME GROW THROUGH ME DREAMS. I KNOW HE CAN AND IS WORKING IN EVERYTHING ELSE. I WILL NOT FALTER, I WILL NOT GIVE IN, I WILL NOT FALL. I DON'T NEED A SAFE PLACE. GOD IS MY SAFE PLACE. I DON'T NEED ANYBODY TO LEAN ON. I HAVE GOD TO LEAN ON. I DON'T NEED UNDERSTANDING. I HAVE GOD TO UNDERSTAND ME. I DON'T NEED ANYBODY TO LIKE OR EVEN LOVE ME. I HAVE GOD TO LOVE ME AND NOT ANY LOVE COULD POSSIBLY COMPARE. SUCK OT SATAN. YOU DUMB GOD WANNABE FLIGHTLESS BURNT STUPID WORTHLESS UNLOVED HATED FAILURE AND EXCUSE OF AN ANGEL. FAILING SEEMS TO BE YOUR THING, IF I WERE YOU, WHICH I'M NOT CUZ I'M A LOVED CHILD OF GOD, I'D SAVE MYSELF THE EMBARRASSMENT AND STOP TRYING TO BE A SALTY BRAT ABOUT MY OWN DUMB AND ILLOGICAL CHOICES. LIKE WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND LOOKS AT GOD. THE GOD. AND SAYS YEAH I COULD TAKE HIM? WHAT, DID YOU SEE HIS OVERWHELMING GOODNESS AND THINK: NAH, I'D WIN? YOU WERE IN HIS PRESENCE. HIS RIGHT HAND DUDE. HIS MUSICIAN. AND YOU COULDN'T GAUGE THAT THIS WAS A FIGHT YOU COULDN'T WIN? SUCK IT.

(Found this rant from a while ago in my drafts and forgot to post it lol so imma post it now even though ive been nothing but blessed)


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God works :)


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5 months ago

I have a mouse plushie, y'know, the Mouse Wants a Cookie plush, hanging over my bed. I wrapped yarn around its neck, stitched it through its throat, and bound its arms behind his back, then tied him to the top of my window to hang over my bed as a sign of my hatred and wrath. I was 15 when I did this. I had a mental breakdown and thank God I didn't give in to the devil's whispers to kill myself and take my mom with me. I had struggled with suicidal thoughts before, around 7 to 8 years old, and my relationship with, honestly everyone, especially my mom did not help. I felt very misunderstood, weird, wrong, unwanted, and like I was a mistake, something not deserving of the title human because I lacked something, that something in question nobody would tell me about. I prayed only when I was asking to die, I cried at night, had episodes of depression, had spent a year or so forcing myself to never cry and denying myself the right to feel sad, bottled up all my emotions and confusion for my whole life, never had an outlet, and my only coping mechanism was to watch funny videos on youtube.

That was me. Not even a full year ago.

Ever since I accepted Jesus into my life and just surrendered it all to him, I've never had that rage since. I haven't cried at night, or had depressive episodes, or suicidal thoughts, and I would never want any harm to befall my mom. I feel like if I have feelings of sadness or anger, I can take it to God. I no longer feel inhuman and wrong, but valid and loved. My coping mechanism still inckudes funny videos, but also to pray and ask God for help.

God has protected and saved me in an unfathomable way, and I can testify that He works. I'm not a Christian because I was raised in the church. My whole life until a few months ago, I had never touched a bible, never fasted, never truly prayed, and didn't even care to believe, hoping I could be some magical exception. My parents took us to church, but never explained God's goodness, so we were blind to him, seeing him only as a religous figure we follow by tradition. I can testify to you because my faith is my own, and I am this way only because I have seen Him with my own eyes. Literally. I saw Him. I spoke to Him. I touched Him. I heard Him. Even after literally speaking to God, I didn't give myself to him. It took a year or so for that. I felt a pang one day in my soul that if I were to die that day, I would certaintly go to hell. It was like a punch to the stomach of loneliness. I knew what it was and it couldn't be mistaken for anything else. I was far from God and my soul was lonely for its creator. I had already been blessed in all that I did as a child, but afterward, I saw all his miracles in my life and noticed the good hand that feeds me. I am fullfilled and only in Christ do I feel content. I tried everything. I tried friends, family, social media, new looks, experimenting with my sexuality and orientation, self indulgance, and nothing worked. They were all temporary and made me feel worse in the longrun. Only in Jesus have I found peace even in a storm.

So try Him out! He works miracles, I promise.


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Just a normal gal Ig. Nothing much to say lol

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