Please. Please. Please. Just Try It. Just Try To Pray. Just Once. Just Try Jesus. Please. Just Once.

The difference between sin and continuous sin

Two people were eating poison, and I came up to them giving them a warning. I say, "stop, do not eat that poison, fo you will surely die". One obeys and heads the warning, turning from the poison and throwing it away, while the other refuses and continues to eat it. The one who disobeyed dies and the other lives. This is like sin. All sins are forgivable for Christ, (except for blasphemy if the holy spirit as well as recieving the mark of the beast) so both had equal opportunity to live. But if you refuse to listen, you will surely fall.

This is the case with many things. Porn, cheating, murder, abuse, drinking, lying, sexual immorality, and yes, whether we like it or not, that includes LGBTQ+ activity. It is a choice made everyday and if continued until the day of judgement or, you know, when we die, it's too late as there was no repentance. But the one who sinned and turns from it with a watchful eye, no matter how many times they fall short, as long as they truthfully give it their all to turn from their sins and toward Jesus, they will be accepted into heaven.

So throw the posion out and be the one who lives

Don't be a bad fig tree

I needed to hear this and I think a couple of others need to too.

If you have been born again, then act like what you are. Do not pretend to still be among the dead when you have been brought back to life by Christ. Instead, bring the dead among the living. God cursed the fig tree for decieving Him and making Him believe it had fruit when it really didn't. This is signifying to hypocrites who pretend to be holy despite the clear knowledge of bearing no fruit, works, or even faith. But let us be different. We shall not be that fig tree. Nor shall we be a fig tree that HAS fruit but hides it with the appearance of dead branches so that nobody may eat from them. God blessed us with wisdom and speech for this moment. He blessed YOU with wisdom and enlightenment for this moment. So let us BEAR FRUIT and LOOK like we bear fruit, so we may be medians of the all mighty God and bring others to the truth. God bless us all. :)

Who do you think you are?

A liar, a cheat, a weakling, a coward? Selfish, crude, stupid, dishonest? Unwanted, weird, wrong or a mistake?

Or maybe you think you're a godsend. A triple threat, a jewel, a diamond. Smart, genius, charismatic, good?

Truth is, it doesn't matter. Cuz you've messed up before at one point or another. You're a sinner.

And so am I.

But even then, our sin is no match for God.

Love

God died for your love, not your validation. God loved the world so much so that He died for it. He died to free us of our sin, the choices we thought we wanted to make, but in reality were only hurting us. That is love. And love is not validation.

Love isn't blindlessly validating, it's picky, and particular, and restricting. Because it doesn't want you to settle with whatever you think you want, but for you to have what you need. So love isn't letting you pick out a moldy apple, when there's a fresh feast just in the oven. It's telling you there is better food in the oven and you don't need to eat something so revolting and unhealthy. If you still prefer the moldy apple, I can't force it out your hands and force the food down your throat. I can only watch as you settle for what you think you want because while love is restricting, it's not imposing. But I didn't validate your choices, I detest them. I know it's worthless to you, maybe even harmful, compared to the gifts you could be enjoying instead. I didn't see you doing something stupid and do it too to show that you're valid in your choices. I saw you do something stupid, told you it was dumb and showed you an example of better choices.

I make this mistake too. All the time. I see someone settle for so much less and I just look away. I don't tell them about the feast in the oven. I don't tell them the moldy apple is toxic. I don't tell them sin will hurt you in the end and I don't tell them about God. I just sit there. Watching. Validating. Supporting. But not loving. Because that is never loving.

I need to love better. I need to love how He loved me. And I pray that He would help me and give me the strength and courage to love. And I pray that other's would pray this for themselves also to learn how to truly love.

Guess who's still crying about Beast? Me! I watched the movie and read the beggining and end of the light novel because I got lazy. Not expecting the end in the movie though. Spoiler drawing ahead and comments btw

Made me so sad. I was going to rant in another post, but I might as well do it here.

So, number one, the sugar cube scene was so adorable I literally cried. I mean it. Like I LITERALLY sobbed.

Number 2, Oda WHYYYYYYYY?! I'M LITERALLY CRYING WHILE TYPING WRITE NOW THINKING ABOUT IT. YOU ARE FRIENDS, YOU ARE, PLEASEEEE. DAZAI'S FACE WHEN HE PULLED THE GUN OUT IN THE BAR AND TOLD HIM NOT TO CALL HIM ODASAKU WAS LIKE A SLAP TO THE FACE.

Number 3, When at the end of the movie, Fyoder was being a little rat and messed everything up, I wanted to vomit out of an array of emotions. I was confused, sad, angry, and just so dang overwhelmed. Like I was ugly crying five seconds ago cuz of Dazai and then this SEWER RAT came and made me confused. I'll get into him in anothe post.

Number 4, In the movie, when Dazai stabbed his leg to show Chuuya his commitment and how much he deserves his trust didn't make sense when I saw it, however, after I recently read the book and watched the play Julius Ceaser, I was like OOOOOOOOH. Dazai immitating Portia and Chuuya Brutus made me just sooo....wow.

Number 5, When it turned out that MORI was the new director I just- absolutley NOT. Do NOT put a pedophile in his perfect Utopia, Dazai WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! Also, I thought he killed him the whole time. Just think about it. A pedophile in an orphanage. You know how if you're being sexually assulted or something, you're supposed to tell a trusted adult like a parentor a teacher? THESE KIDS HAVE NO PARENTS.

Number 6, Chuuya being locked up in that poor governemnt facility broke my heart. Just think about how many people are going to die? Like there is no way Chuuya Nakahara is going to succumb to a bunch of itsy bitsy chains. He' breaking out and killing everyone in there and then the agency. Convince me otherwise.

Number 7, I can't. I'll make an entirely seperate post for Chuuya too, but can we just talk for a second? He went crazy because Dazai committed suicide. He went on a whole rampage and it took 3 special ability resistance units to take him down. This is what happens when there is no Dazai when he uses corruption. But the REASON he went into corruption was just...wow. I always knew they had a complicated relationship but at the same time it was just so simple. Like, they hate eachother, but they also don't. They don't like eachother, but it's not like they don't either. It's not like they complete one another, but it's like one soul in two bodies. They're so simply complicated that if you asked me what their relation was, I'd just say, they're complications. Because in reality, their relationship is just so unexplainable. You need to see it to understand it. There are relationships like lovers, enemys, frenemies, friends, siblings, etc, but they fit into literally no category but they aren't strangers either. This is getting too long, so I'll make a different post about that.

Number 8, Chuuya pleaseeee don'ttttt. There is no need to attack the agency, my guy. He wants to avenge Dazai's death, but what is there to avenge? Dazai did suicide. He wasn't killed. Chuuya was so upset that he wanted to kill all the agency. I just....can't. It's kind of sad. This is also going to be really long if I go on, so I'll make another post about this topic.

Number 9, the way Chuuya just really couldn't understand made me wanna bang my head on the wall in tears. He truly couldn't think of why Dazai did it. He was kind of alright one second and then dead the next. The entire time, you can tell how little Chuuya was incorporated into the script he wrote. The ending for each one was different as the movie had him go insane and be put under governemnt care, while the light novel just left him to do his own thing. However, in both you can see that neither of them ever knew what was going on. Dazai never gave him a reason to why he killed himself. Everyone else seems to be going on like nothing happened or at least as if they know what happened and came to terms with it, but then he knows nothing. He was his bodyguard and right hand man and yet NOTHING. I'll get back to this in another post lol. TvT

So yeah. I cried a lot.

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I really don't know much about what to think regarding the war except I don't like it. It started because of violence on one side and is continued by violence by the other. Uninvolved people have been hurt and people killed when they had nothing to do with the attacks. Many people have come to ask for help, but they're very hard to distinguish from scammers because there are people who take advantage of their situation and fake a donation account. It is so unfair because the people who need help can't get it because it' going to scammers and people no longer trust them. I have to check every inch and cranny of an account to make sure I'm not sharing a scam to people. I don't know for sure if this is real or not, so please if you're considering donating, check it yourself and make sure you feel right about it. I was very hesitant to repost anything regarding this matter because I'm not exactly pro anybody, just a highschooler who wanta people to get along, but I also don't want to ignore people in their time of need when I can at least do this. So please don't take my word for it, make sure this is legit before you do anything. I'm only reposting this because out of all the asks I've gotten so far, this is the least bot sounding one so far.

I have a mouse plushie, y'know, the Mouse Wants a Cookie plush, hanging over my bed. I wrapped yarn around its neck, stitched it through its throat, and bound its arms behind his back, then tied him to the top of my window to hang over my bed as a sign of my hatred and wrath. I was 15 when I did this. I had a mental breakdown and thank God I didn't give in to the devil's whispers to kill myself and take my mom with me. I had struggled with suicidal thoughts before, around 7 to 8 years old, and my relationship with, honestly everyone, especially my mom did not help. I felt very misunderstood, weird, wrong, unwanted, and like I was a mistake, something not deserving of the title human because I lacked something, that something in question nobody would tell me about. I prayed only when I was asking to die, I cried at night, had episodes of depression, had spent a year or so forcing myself to never cry and denying myself the right to feel sad, bottled up all my emotions and confusion for my whole life, never had an outlet, and my only coping mechanism was to watch funny videos on youtube.

That was me. Not even a full year ago.

Ever since I accepted Jesus into my life and just surrendered it all to him, I've never had that rage since. I haven't cried at night, or had depressive episodes, or suicidal thoughts, and I would never want any harm to befall my mom. I feel like if I have feelings of sadness or anger, I can take it to God. I no longer feel inhuman and wrong, but valid and loved. My coping mechanism still inckudes funny videos, but also to pray and ask God for help.

God has protected and saved me in an unfathomable way, and I can testify that He works. I'm not a Christian because I was raised in the church. My whole life until a few months ago, I had never touched a bible, never fasted, never truly prayed, and didn't even care to believe, hoping I could be some magical exception. My parents took us to church, but never explained God's goodness, so we were blind to him, seeing him only as a religous figure we follow by tradition. I can testify to you because my faith is my own, and I am this way only because I have seen Him with my own eyes. Literally. I saw Him. I spoke to Him. I touched Him. I heard Him. Even after literally speaking to God, I didn't give myself to him. It took a year or so for that. I felt a pang one day in my soul that if I were to die that day, I would certaintly go to hell. It was like a punch to the stomach of loneliness. I knew what it was and it couldn't be mistaken for anything else. I was far from God and my soul was lonely for its creator. I had already been blessed in all that I did as a child, but afterward, I saw all his miracles in my life and noticed the good hand that feeds me. I am fullfilled and only in Christ do I feel content. I tried everything. I tried friends, family, social media, new looks, experimenting with my sexuality and orientation, self indulgance, and nothing worked. They were all temporary and made me feel worse in the longrun. Only in Jesus have I found peace even in a storm.

So try Him out! He works miracles, I promise.

Following God can be tiring. It won't always be cupcakes and rainbows. Don't get me wrong, there will be trials and tribulations, prayers you have to wait for, hurt that will feel like healing is impossible for, wickedness that will sometimes prevail, and blessings that don't always seem like blessings. But that isn't what I'm talking about when I say it's tiring. When everything is good. When everything is going your way. When everything seems to be in your favor. Praising God is hard. In fact, sometimes it can be harder than if it wasn't. You feel dry in your faith, thanking Him for the same blessing everyday like some kind of routine. You're tempted to go have fun doing anything other than spending time with him. You forget the goodness in his blessings and only see repetetiveness. Following God is hard. But keep going. He hasn't given up on you and He never will. God will never leave nor forsake you. Love you, bye ♡

I really flippin love God bro. I can mess up a bunch of times and STILL get blessed like I'm the youngest child. Imagine screwin up so unbelievably bad practically everyday and your parents still shower you with a bunch of stuff you never asked for as well as for the things you did. That's basically him. All you gotta do is love him in return. That and apologize obviously. Yet for some reason, those are the things we, including me, have trouble sincerely doing the most. -- Me just now lol

Guys. God made frogs. HE IMAGINED THESE CREATURES UP.

Like let me just rant and give a list of some creatures God made and I love Him for it

• Frogs:

CUTE LIL JUMP PUPPIES! THEY SO GOOFY AND DERPY AND THEY GO RIBBIT AND SOMETIMES THEY SCREECH

• Bunnies

Come on, iconic. ICONIC. Famous for being cute!!

• CATS

YES. LIL TOE BEANED, BIPOLAR, SLEEP MACHINES

• Dolphins

So cool, but also so weird. Insane behaviour; God, I have questions

• Sheep

BAHHHHH! Perhaps His second favorite creation! Us being first of course!

• Fish

There are SO many species! He thought up EVERY SINGLE ONE!! THAT'S A LOT OF FISH

• Ferrets

LONG NOODLES

• Dogs

Did He make them to literally be man's best friend? Did Adam have a dog? Either way, I LOVE THEM

• Parrots

TALKING FLIPPIN ANIMALS THAT CAN FLY

• Mosquitos

May I inquire why? I'm not questioning your choices, God, but I'm so curious. Very curious indeed (especially to why you made them like me so much)

• Leaches

REALLY CURIOUS NOW

• Ants

So smol and so strong, but also really smart

• Venus fly trap

YES. COOLEST PLANT EVER. MY FAVORITE CARNIVOROUS PLANT! LOOKS PRETTY AND AWSOME AND EATS BUGS! SUPER COOL DESIGN, GOD!

• Whales

SO BIG! SO COOL! I LOVE!

• Jellyfish

Where's the everything they need to live?! God, you've done it again!

• Humans

Gotta be His favorite creation! So smart and complicated! Yet unfortunately, so dumb and simple too. If only we stuck too the intended parts of us.