‘I Wish For Death’ - Twelve-year-old Alma Says. She Fled Bombing And Shelling Twice Before The Third

About Chapter 114

okay imo Fyodors imortality is bc of his ability to possess other peoples bodies but i have seen people saying that it'll be sigma and idk about that. I think the most logical conclusion would be Nikolai. For one, he's technically the reason Fyodor 'died' just like the guard in the flashback but it would also fit so well within his character arc. There is a parallel of the overcoat in 'the overcoat' and his freedom being ironically taken right after he gets it. Also Nikolai already planned to kill himself and if he actually was posessed his death would also mean his freedom from fyodor. Nikolai was also near his dead body for the whole time, maybe thats also relevant. I mean where is Nikolai?

omg for your sketch prompt

what if fyodor coming back to nikolai painting the nails on fyodor's detached arm

Fyodor looking for his arm

it's absolutely what it looks like TT

after i posted caps regarding ann’s feelings towards her costume, an anon asked if i had any interest in redesigning it, so here’s my attempt! i also threw together a kinda messy AOA card with it as well. [ process gif here ]

many of the notes above cover my thought process, but under the cut i get a little more into detail on a few specific references i took inspiration from!

note: if you’re gonna get mad that i covered up your 16 year old waifu’s chest, please do us both a favor and block me instead of writing a comment i’m definitely not going to read.

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bro…

Me after episode 5 of The Last of Us

Like this au so much…Really need someone to write…🥲

I want a story from Fyodor's perspective but it turns out he's just as unhinged as the protagonist of Crime and Punishment. Like I just want scenes that we've already witnessed from other people's perspectives where Fyodor's outwardly playing the level headed mastermind, but this time we get his internal monologue and he's always two seconds away from loosing it entirely.

After successfully pulling off his murder spree on Ace's ship he just goes and lies face down on his bed for a week, flipping between being sick at what he's done and then proclaiming his own genius the next. Throwing about his things in a fit of disgust and then sadly picking them back up again.

Fyodor zoning out during one of his and Dazai's prison conversations because he's gone from admiring Dazai's smarts to picturing murdering him with an axe and then chastising himself for thinking of such crude methods. Meanwhile Dazai has started throwing things at the barrier to get Fyodor's attention again, until Fyodor decides actually axe murder is the correct thought.

I want him stood with that practiced smile on his face as Nikolai is explaining his prison break game, meanwhile there's a smaller internal version of Fyodor screaming and crying about how unfortunate his choice in minions is.

Laughing as he injects himself with a deadly poison outwardly and inwardly just going "shitshitshit- I can't back out, Dazai's doing it, so I have to, he can't look braver than me, better laugh too, hahaha, Dazai you fool you've injected yourself too, WHY AM I DOING THIS, I HATE NEEDLES, I WANT MY BED."

I just think Fyodor deserves to be a mess as much as the other geniuses.

So i saw a post about a deaged Ardyn in @secret-engima ‘s Little Nox verse and now all I can think of is what if Ardyn had gotten deaged along with Nox when they wound up Suddenly Alive Again? Maybe they’re both teens, or maybe there’s a teenage disaster uncle trying to take care of bb!Nox? Honestly I’m just amused at the thought of all the flailing over teen Ardyn because - the chancellor had a secret son?? was cloned?? On top of THE CHANCELLOR OF NIFLEHEIM IS MISSING

You are a supervillain, and everyone was surprised when you declared another supervillain to be your arch nemesis instead of one of the heroes who constantly thwart your plans.

So reading the regis / nox/ noctis headcannons, snippets, and lil noct notices how nox shies away from ignis and gladious and im wondering when does that stop? Does it stop? It would have to, after prom gets brought in wouldnt it? Like nox starts being in their company a lil longer and a lil longer over and over. Also what are iggy and gladdys reaction to lost prince nox and how he seems to avoid them?

It eventually stops, yes, well after Prompto comes into the picture, though some days (usually in the aftermath of a really bad Quiet Day) Nox still sometimes leaves the room abruptly when they’re around. None of them know why, though they all have theories. Prompto is, perhaps not surprisingly, the closest to guessing, but that’s because of them all Nox has slipped up around Prompto the most when he “first” met him and because Prompto is an artist, and artists tend to Notice Details. Prompto has never forgotten how the kindly prince called him Prom when he shouldn’t have known his name and how he bought a kid a stupid-expensive camera without hesitation. He has ALSO noticed Nox’s earrings, and unlike Gladio and Ignis who think they’re just Nox’s personal preference, Prompto thinks that they are MEANINGFUL in their seeming randomness. Prompto thinks that all four of them remind Nox of himself and three very close friends. That Nox lost those friends well before he was discovered by Regis and that looking at them interacting with Noctis sometimes reminds him too much of the people he’s loved and lost. He never shares this theory with the others or Nox, so he never knows just how right he is.

But on Iggy and Gladio:

-Ignis is … Concerned™. He may be a prodigy child, but he’s still a child andall his intelligence really does is make his imagination more vivid in this instance. He spends the first several months being on Constant Vigilance around Nox in case the teen tries something. In case he wants Noctis’s status as Crown Prince for himself. He doesn’t like how skittish Nox is, or how Nox tends to go quiet when ignis is in the room, or how Nox sometimes just- leaves without so much as a by your leave. He doesn’t like it At All™ and it takes Noctis throwing a tantrum about Ignis “scaring his brother away when he’s just hurt and sad” to make Ignis stop bristling like a cat whenever he’s around.

-AFTER Ignis takes a few chill pills and really starts to look at Nox, observe him from discreet distances and listen to the servant gossip, his opinion changes. Clearly Nox Is Trauamatized™. Clearly he is overwhelmed with his new status and just needs time to adjust. Surely Ignis is imagining Nox’s agitation in his presence. Nox is probably just agitated in general and when he leaves it’s for some other reason than Ignis’s existence.

-But as time goes on, and especially as he looks back on it once he’s older, Ignis concludes that he was NOT imagining things. That Nox really did go to great lengths in the early days to avoid being in the same room as Ignis and Gladiolus and later Prompto (that Prompto was the major reason he finally made an effort to stop that, because Prompto is Sunshine Incarnate and nobody wants to make him cry). Like- Nox was learning to cope in their presence before Prompto, but it wasn’t until AFTER Prompto that Nox would actively seek them out rather than just accept their presence if they entered a room he happened to be in.

-Ignis thinks it probably has something to do with Nox’s past and the mental issues he hears the doctors mutter about, but how Ignis or Gladio set off those things he hasn’t the faintest idea.

-Ignis does, at some point, realize that Nox literally cannot say no to Ignis on 90% of topics. It’s Noctis who figures it out first and shamelessly abuses the fact to get Nox to either take care of himself or hang out with Noctis, but Ignis once Ignis realizes just why Noctis keeps asking Ignis to go ask Nox something … Ignis is curious. And Concerned™. He starts pushing his cooking on Nox and tries not to be Very Alarmed™ when Nox straight up cries (silent and slow but there) the first time Ignis makes him something. Ignis is also one of the only people who can get Nox into a Tux, though sometimes Ignis thinks that Nox gets frustrated with his own inability to say no, so Ignis makes a point not to abuse this knowledge.

-He still wonders though. And sometimes…

-Sometimes, after a day spent in Nox’s company, he sleeps, and dreams, and wakes up crying from a profound sense of loss and regret and love so deep it hurts and the sense of calloused hands holding his own.

-He can never remember what the dreams are about.

-For Gladio-.

-Dislike. Major dislike at first. Nox shows up before Noctis saves Iris from being lost, so Gladio’s opinion of non-Regis LCs is Pretty Low™ from the get-go. He’s also eleven years old and maybe a little arrogant, and he’s just old enough to know that what it means that Nox is from an affair. And that Nox is part Nif because his Uncle is Nif.

-So yes. Bristly bby Gladio who huffs and puffs and is about as threatening as a wet puppy. Nox still avoids him A Lot, Gladio just thinks its because he’s scared of Gladio. Or a flake like Noctis. Or just a wimp in general. Or something.

-Then one day Gladio sneaks into the training arena to watch his dad and Cor train and sees Cor spontaneously challenge Nox to a spar. Nox not only keeps up with the famed Immortal, he BEATS HIM and suddenly Gladio is rethinking all his previous opinions about Nox. Unfortunately, now that he wants to hang around Nox (this prince is way cooler than the one Gladio is stuck with no fair) he discovers that Nox AVOIDS HIM LIKE THE PLAGUE and this is now a problem.

-Gladio being Gladio, he aggressively starts trying to follow Nox from room to room and ends up Really Stressing Nox Out until Axis steps in and threatens to yeet Gladio into the royal pool if he doesn’t Knock It Off and Leave His King Alone. Gladio sneers and demands to know who died and made Axis Shield. Axis’s eye twitches and two seconds later Gladio is both very wet and very miffed and Nox is nowhere in sight.

-Clarus ends up being the one to convince Gladio to stop chasing Nox around the Citadel, but is unable to answer why Nox avoids him so.

-Stuff happens and Gladio eventually gets along with his own prince, and Bonding Via Trauma happens when Cor starts happily throwing Noctis, Ignis, Gladio, and Prompto to the wolves a delighted Nox who forgets all his hesitations the moment Cor says he’s can fight them however he wants. Gladio never does figure out why Nox avoided him in the beginning, or why sometimes even years later he’ll quietly just- get up and leave the room, but that’s okay. That’s just one of Nox’s Quirks and if the dude needs some quiet time sometimes then fine. Whatever. Just as long as Nox shows him how to pull at off that cool broadsword move he used to kick Gladio’s butt in the last spar.

-And sometimes, after a hard day of training with Nox, he sleeps and dreams and wakes up with tears in his eyes and his forehead and chest stinging with scars that aren’t there and a name on his lips he can’t remember. Sometimes he wakes up in time to see the dawn and the sight of the rising sun makes him sob for reasons he can’t remember.

Memories

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I drew this back in october a few days after the last episode of season 5. It's been a while but I wanted to post it anyway^^

+ close up