“One More Chapter.”

his choice

summary: at the end of the day, haechan chooses you despite the distance in time and proximity. but why do you feel so... guilty?

notes: idol!haechan, long distance relationship, no amount of fluff detected in this fic lol 221130 haechan i have real feelings for you

genre: angst | word count: 1.4k

- “baby?”, haechan says on the other line.

“haech… hi.”

you were laying on your bed. it has been a long, tiring week. on the other hand, haechan was sitting in front of his laptop. he was trying to fix his phone, trying to find the right angle for you to see his face clearly via facetime. once he felt everything is settled, he just stared at you. he can’t help but smile at your loving features. you are still beautiful as ever, he thought.

but you can see he was also exhausted. his eyes were kind of droopy, longing for some good night sleep. but he decided to stay up to accompany you while you twist and turn, and find the right sleeping position until you fall asleep.

“not going to bed, haech?”

“i’ll let you sleep first, baby.”

then a faint smile slowly crept on your face.

you thought it was cute. he is still the haechan you knew when he mustered up the courage to say he likes you on that one night in that one september night. you thought it was funny, even. he cannot look you in the eyes when he confessed, shy and all. it was unusual for someone who is loved by plenty to still giggle and blush like a little kid. haechan remains humble, head on the clouds but feet on the ground. and that is why despite the doubts and risks of accepting his love, you took the leap of faith, and haechan never failed to make you feel special every single day.

but with the tremendous amount of work lined up in his unpredictable schedule, you cannot help but feel… sorry.

you would be lying if you say you purposely did not answer some of his calls because he was persistent to see you when he gets the chance to do so.

january 16, 1:07am | haech wrote:

january 16, 1:07am | haech wrote:

where were you?

you weren’t picking up :(

you can almost hear haechan sulking as you read his text.

january 16, 2:15am | you wrote:

just out, haechan.

january 16, 2:16am | haech wrote:

tell me about your day? :)

there were at least six missed calls that you refused to answer before this. as you watched your phone vibrating, you just wished he would… stop. it was also two in the morning from where he is, currently touring and all, while you just came back from work and slept. timezones, the distance; you can’t help but to wonder why he still stays.

january 16, 2:20am | you wrote:

tired, baby.

january 16, 2:20am | haech wrote:

just five minutes, please?

but you just left him on read. the way he waited for you to response as he replied instantly for your texts is already bothering you. you also clearly did not know back then why you would do such a thing to haechan until weeks passed by…

it never occurred to you what exactly it was until you have seen him yawning and falling asleep as the both of you catch up on what has been going on with your lives. you clearly knew it was guilty to have him around while he was struggling to maintain his life and work. the guilt rushed in when he started texting almost apologetic messages saying “i’m sorry, i fell asleep.”, “have a great day, baby! i know you could do it!”, and the recent and out-of-the-blue text message he sent that sent you the urge to hit the block button for his own good:

january 28, 5:55am | haech wrote:

baby. i hope you never get tired of me… of this. i know it has been a rough couple of weeks of us being in different parts of the world. you don’t know how much i want to hold you, kiss you, and hug you at every chance i get. please wait for me to come home. please never be tired. i’m willing to work this out. i’ll make time for you, baby.

don't leave me, please?

and by that time, you knew haechan has been also feeling you were about to back down. it is just that the assumed reasons were different. haechan feels he was losing you because of the lack of time and distance he spends with you, and you, on the other hand, are willing to sacrifice this love that you wanted to keep for a long so he could continue living freely.

so you decided to talk to haechan tonight.

he deserved to at least receive a proper goodbye.

“what time is it there, haech?”

“it’s…” haechan looked at his watch, eyebrows scrunched and all, “two-thirty a.m.”

“aren’t you tired?”

“not when i see you, baby.”

you felt like your heart is about to burst from being squeezed so tightly. you removed your phone from your face and let the camera face in front of the ceiling. you were suppressing your whimpers. it hurts to hear those words; those words that were carefully curated for you to be heard so you would be convinced he is enduring it all when he is not. and giving up the fight is only the answer you have.

“baby…?” haechan asks for you. “still there?”

“yeah, yeah.” you wiped your tears away and faked a forced smile for him to see. you picked up your phone and made sure he could not see any hints of you hurting. “just… picked up something.”

“oh, okay.”

you can hear haechan singing baekhyun’s love again, and you just smiled through the entire mini-show, exclusively for you. he loved singing and sharing his favorite songs with you. you were never a fan of ballads until he came into your life, and suddenly everything felt at ease. but you had to ask before you.

“does it get tiring sometimes, haech?”

“what do you mean?”

“this.”

he looked straight at the camera and stopped the music playing in the background. haechan kind of stood still for seconds, bracing himself on where this conversation is going. but he responded upfront and with no hesitations.

“never.”

“why?” you asked.

“because it’s you.”

“why do you still stay?”

“because it’s you.”

“why do you keep saying it’s me?”

“because i love you.”

haechan can feel the series of questions from you being said so nonchalantly and so monotonously. he already knows your walls are building themselves up as he continuously answers. it was frustrating to see that you were no longer convinced, that the i love yous no longer work.

“stop saying that, haechan.”

“it’s haech.”

“what do i even do for you?”

“you—you make me happy, baby.”

“just go to sleep, haechan.”

“i won’t.”

“why?”

“because i know i won’t be seeing you in the morning after this.”

and you know he was right. you were already consumed by the thought of leaving and convinced he makes himself strong in front of you despite the circumstances.

but haechan is not ready to give it all up, not just yet.

“listen to me, baby. please?”

you turned off your camera, and you can see haechan slightly panicking. but he had to keep his composure still.

“every day, i choose you. my heart chooses you. i come back to you because my heart says so—that you keep me sane. you keep me feeling things; that you keep me afloat; that you keep me human.” haechan insists.

“you are that tiny light that i see whenever i come back to my apartment; and when i see it, it feels like someone’s waiting for me to come home, baby.

you are that someone, baby. you love me because i can fall crumbling and all because you are my home. and you accept my flaws.

it doesn’t matter if i’m tired and all, because you’re… you’re my rest.”

you let out sobs and your cries were no longer able to be contained. haechan waits for you on the other line to open your camera, or at least say something back. he anxiously taps his foot on the floor.

you picked up your phone and there he was, staring intently at a blank screen, biting his lower lip and teary-eyed.

“loving someone is a choice.

and every day, i choose you.”

and before you end the call, you heard him saying:

"i love you so much.

come back to me, baby, please?”

would you?

“Some things go too deep to be forgotten.”

— John Galsworthy, The Forsyte Saga

478 drabble where they’re just starting out in their relationship and y/n figures that jungkook is a silent lover so when she needs help or something, she doesn’t come to jungkook for it and then jungkook finds out and is a little hurt by it ☹️

478: drabble

alternatively, you don’t call jungkook for help because you don’t think he would </3

[ 478 drabbles ]

8:07 PM

That looks good. Text me when you get home.

Jungkook types out simply when you send him a picture of your dessert from the dinner you’re in with your cousin, leaning back on his couch before closing his phone to resume watching his show.

It’s an abrupt end to your dinner, really. You haven’t laughed this hard with a relative outside of your immediate family for a long time — but it’s just too bad that your cousin was called for an emergency at work. She’s paid for the bill already even before you could argue that you’d handle it. There’s just two teeny-tiny problems from your cousin’s sudden exit.

She’s also your ride home, and the heavy rain that’s pouring outside the restaurant is enough to make its heavy glass doors howl from the wind alone.

It’s scary now that you think about it. You can barely see out even through the large window panes, and speaking of the window panes, they’re trembling from how hard the rain is going.

“Do you need help closing the roll-ups?” you pipe in (read: half-yell through the noise) when you see the owner of the restaurant you’ve become acquainted with for all the times you’ve eaten here, his face filled with worry because the once-locked doors already busted open with the wind.

The entirety of the staff is preoccupied with closing windows and rearranging tables, taking more precautions now that there’s still patrons in the building and almost half of them are alarmed with everything going on.

“Yes, please. But if you want to help-“ he looks apologetic, heart hurting at the thought of inconvencing one of his regulars that just happens to have a good heart. “Someone needs to go outside to bring down the roll-up, and crouch back to go inside when it’s halfway down. I-I can’t — my back’s too bad for me to do that.”

You’re not so keen at the thought that a flying piece of roof could deck you the moment you come outside to help bring down the metal roll-up, but if it means making the restaurant (your place of refuge for the time-being because you can’t go home at this state) a little more secure, then so be it.

“It’s no problem. I’ll be quick,” you assure the owner, tugging the sleeves of your sweater back down as if the few inches of fabric would protect you from the harsh rain. You count to three before going outside, much to the relief of the other patrons because the wind wouldn’t come in as much, and much to worry of the owner because he really thinks you’d be taken away by the wind.

8:43 PM

Your cousin drove you home, right?

The rain doesn’t look like it would stop anytime soon.

Jungkook’s eyes narrow at his phone, weirded out that you haven’t read his messages yet. There’s still clearly service because his texts went through, but even after almost an hour, he still hasn’t heard from you.

The restaurant’s supposed to be close to your apartment. It should only be a thirty-minute drive, could even be cut to fifteen because he rereads your previous (and many) texts of the day that your cousin drives barbarically fast.

It’s okay.

You’re probably okay.

You like texting him. You’ve probably already reached home and you’re just taking a shower.

9:30 PM

Y/N

Where are you?

Are you okay?

“Here. Eat more,” the owner coaxes you as he sets down another plate of dumplings for you to eat, practically hand-feeding you at this point because you keep insisting with a chuckle that it’s not necessary. “You risked your life out there.”

“I only closed your roll-up.”

“Yes. Still a hero,” he nods fervently, handing you iced tea this time and doesn’t stop shaking his head until you take a sip. “It looks like the rain’s gonna pass soon. Do you have a car?” he asks, making you chew faster in order to reply.

“Nope,” you shake your head, jolting a few centimeters into the air when it feels as if the thunder outside rang directly beside your eardrums.

“Do you have someone to pick you up then? Ah, didn’t you mention you have a boyfriend now? Booking a ride tonight would be impossible.”

“No, I don’t think my boyfriend would pick me up,” you mutter, recalling that Jungkook’s probably asleep right now. You’ve only been a couple for a month but you know what and what not to expect. It doesn’t hurt you particularly — it’s just that Jungkook is Jungkook.

He cares about you. He’s not that verbal nor touchy with it, but you know he cares about you. You’re just not sure if he’d brave a flood right now to pick you up, but it’s okay.

Love takes time.

10:01 PM

Please pick up my calls

Are you safe? Where are you?

Y/N please let me know where you are

“My phone won’t turn on,” you tut in exasperation, belatedly realizing that it’s been soaked already in your pocket for the ten seconds you’ve been outside. “I need to put this in rice when I get home.”

The owner frowns, still guilty that you’ve got it from helping him, but before he apologizes again, you cut him off with a smile.

“Do you have a landline?” you sheepishly ask. “I might need to call a friend. I’m about seventy percent sure he’ll drive me home.”

10:30 PM

Y/N where are you???

I’ve been calling you for the past hour

Are you home? Do you just have no service??? Is the power out???

Are you at the restaurant?? Are you with your cousin??

Where are you?

47 missed calls from Jungkook.

6:21 AM

I hope you’re home.

I’m coming over

The walls of your apartment shake.

You were pretty sure the typhoon’s already moved past your city last night and there were only semi-heavy rains left in its wake, but when you blearily look at your alarm clock (and not your phone because it’s dunked in rice), the walls of your apartment still continue to shake.

“Fuck, fuck, I’m coming! I’m coming! Who are-…” you stumble to the door in a hurry without even looking at the peephole, eyes still half-closed but slowly blinking awake when you see who’s in front of you.

“Jungkook?” you mumble, head tilting in surprise. “What are you doing here?”

“What am I doing here?” he repeats, his whole physique looking disheveled because he literally could not sleep the whole night from worrying about you. “Where were you? Were you here the whole time? I thought you were hurt,” he mumbles the last word, eyebrows still furrowed.

“I came home at what, 12 in the morning? I didn’t have a ride home when I last texted you at 8 because my cousin had to leave for a work emergency,” you recall, wincing in recollection because your body’s still heavy from the fatigue.

“What? But you don’t have a car. It was flooding last night,” he gulps, mouth still parted in worry even if he can see you right now in one piece. “How in the hell did you come home?”

“I called Yoongi.”

You shrug as you let your boyfriend know, the moment suddenly becoming tense because you realize now that you haven’t even invited him inside.

“Why didn’t you call me?”

Jungkook looks hurt, seeing more emotion now than you’ve ever seen him from the whole month you’ve been together. It makes you falter, the guilt rising to your throat.

“I didn’t know if you would answer.”

Jungkook mentally staggers at that, heart dipping in hurt.

He bites his upper lip in worry, deep into his thoughts that it’s his fault that you’ve started to doubt if he would even show up when you need help.

“Of course I would answer,” he mumbles, taking you into a deep embrace that you freeze into before you melt into his tight hold. “It’s you. I’ll always answer if it’s you.”

[ 23:58pm ] — i love you. remember that.

you and haechan were polar opposites. he was sociable, outgoing, popular, and charmed every person he crosses paths with. he was very ambitious and hardworking and was probably voted most likely to succeed in high school. you, on the other hand, preferred to keep to yourself most of the time, essentially satisfied with mediocrity, and an overall one’s usual plain jane.

you never understood why he liked you in the first place.

the insecurities in your relationship with haechan rarely clog your mind, but when they do, they hit you like a truck. you tended to distance yourself from your boyfriend, wallowing in your own self-pity until he maybe notices and coaxes you out of it.

you wonder how long until his patience with your negativity runs out and leaves you for someone else. someone better.

“you ok?” haechan’s voice snaps you out of your downward spiral. you blinked a few times out of shock, then responded curtly. “yeah, i’m alright.”

haechan narrowed his eyes at you, obviously not believing a word you’re saying. “penny for your thoughts?”

“it’s nothing, hyuck. go back to playing.”

you used his real name. haechan let out a quiet sigh, took off his headphones and squeezed himself next to you on the bed. you swore you could hear jaemin and jeno yelling at him through his headphones for being afk, but before you could point it out, haechan already has you locked in, his arms snaking around your waist and his legs tangled above yours.

“have i ever told you that you’re pretty?” he whispered.

“sometimes.” you hummed.

“maybe i should be saying it more.” he quietly chuckled.

“you don’t have to.”

haechan scooted almost impossibly closer to you, his breath fanning your neck, the distance between your bodies disappearing.

“have i ever told you that i love you?”

you pause for a moment, guilt creeping into your system. “always.” your boyfriend was one who never shyed away from expressing his feelings. he made sure you felt loved, you hear that you’re loved. his one question was a message to you – ‘i love you, yet why do you feel that way?’ why do you feel so insecure in your relationship when he has never failed to appreciate you? to love you?

“i love the way your forehead scrunches up when you focus.” he started, his fingers softly touching and gliding over your bare arms.

“i love the way you get excited when i come home with cheesecake.” he lightly laughed at the thought as his hands travelled up to your face, cupping your cheeks and making you face him. “i love the way you’re so goddamn bad at valorant, yet you play with me when i ask you to.”

“i think about you all the time. your smile, your hands, your face, your laugh. i think about you before i sleep, the moment i wake up, everytime i eat. it’s you that i see. you’re running through my mind all day it’s . . “ he let out a somewhat exasperated sigh. “you’re the only person who makes me this insane, y/n. really.”

“i love you, y/n. you and only you, just the way you are. forever and always.” his voice was much quieter now and his grip around your waist tightened.

“i’m sorry.” was all you could croak out

“it’s okay. i love you. remember that.”

the two of you were silent for a moment. the guilt in your system slowly subsided into feelings of gratefulness – you were thankful he noticed something’s wrong with you quickly, and you were also thankful he knew how to snap yourself out of it.

“wanna watch a movie?” you suggested.

“i’d like that.” he giggled. he slowly snaked himself away from you to get the tv remote, but his movement halted when you called out his name.

“donghyuck?”

his real name. again. he turned back to face you once more.

“i love you, too. forever and always.”

he grinned, moved closer to you and gave you a light peck on the lips.

“i know.”

a/n: i have returned. haechan making me feel things lately god im so in love w him it’s insanejfksmd.

“If for you I am enough, I do not mind being “nothing” for others.”

— ousia-poetica

rose

pairing: mark lee x reader

warnings: none, fluff

word count: 928

You felt Mark's eyes on you as you sighed loudly again. Yet another couple had walked by, arm in arm, giggling affectionately at everything, at nothing. Like the other couples around you, she held a red rose in her free hand. It was Valentine's Day and you were struggling to hide your loneliness in your still-tipsy state.

You turned to him with an eyebrow raised, inviting him to ask the question on his mind. But before he could even get a word out, you interrupted. "I'm fine, Mark."

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, sure."

His tone softened "It's okay to want that, you know." He gestured towards another happy couple that passed by the restaurant. "And it's okay to still feel sad about, you know... the past."

You knew he felt awkward about bringing it up and the last thing you wanted was for him to walk on eggshells around you. "But it's been years, Mark. I just want to forget him." You felt vulnerability creep into your voice but you were too defeated to pretend right now. And you were with Mark. You knew you didn't have to pretend with him. "He made me feel like something to be ashamed of. It's taking me such a long time to put myself back together."

His large eyes grew softer, if that was possible. "That's a good thing. You know that, right? It means that you won't hurt the next person you're with because you want to heal."

You felt a small lump in your throat as you considered his words. You were healing. It was a slow process but you were certain you would get there in the end thanks to the love and support from friends like Mark.

"Thank you, Mark," you said, your voice thick. Truthfully, you weren't sure if you'd ever find someone else. Love felt so out of reach at the moment.

He gave you a warm smile and squeezed your hand softly but then chuckled nervously and ran a hand through his hair. "So, trying to cheer you up by taking you out on Valentine's Day is working out great, huh?"

You giggled before reassuring him. "I always feel good when I'm with you, Mark." You sighed again before continuing. "It's just, I know it seems like I don't need it, but I want to be spoiled sometimes too, you know?" You gestured towards the couples around you. "I dated someone for years who didn't want to take me out or do nice things for me. Nobody's ever gotten me flowers before. I would have been over the moon to receive just one rose." You looked down at the table as you said that, chuckling awkwardly, knowing how pathetic you must sound. You cleared your throat before changing the subject. "So, how's work? Is your boss still trying to put you in every group project?"

You looked up, startled to see him looking at you intensely. But the expression disappeared as quickly as you had spotted it as he talked about work and how he didn't mind as it was for the good of the company. To your relief, your love life wasn't mentioned again and you spent the evening laughing with your best friend, feeling a little more whole.

The next day, to your surprise, Mark was outside your apartment. He was slightly out of breath but smiling as usual. "Hey, Mark, is everything okay?" you asked as you invited him in.

"Great, Y/N. Perfect, actually." He chuckled and you raised an eyebrow. He held out his hand in answer, and in it was a beautiful long stemmed red rose. Your heartbeat quickened remembering your conversation from last night.

"Mark, I'm really okay, I swear--"

"This is not a pity rose, Y/N," he clarified as if reading your mind. "I'm not giving you flowers because I feel sorry for you."

You nodded, believing him, but still confused. He continued, "I know you're not ready to date, but I want you to know that I'm gonna be here while you put those beautiful, broken pieces back together." He looked down for a second before staring directly into your eyes. "I've had feelings for you for a while, and when you're ready, if you'll let me, I'd love to give everything you deserve. I want to hold your hand in public and take you out on fancy dates and waste money trying to win you a plushie from a claw machine we both know is rigged." He stopped for a moment as you both giggled. "I want to make you feel adored, Y/N."

You stared at him in shock for a second, overcome with emotion. Your heart was racing. You could picture it all. You wanted it. You wanted it with him. And yet, you heard yourself say, "But, Mark--"

"And, before you say anything, no, I'm not gonna put my life on hold waiting for you." He rolled his eyes, predicting everything you were gonna say. "But I want to give this a shot. I want to give us a shot. So take your time because I'm not going anywhere."

He held out the rose, which you shyly accepted. You felt yourself blushing as you smiled and looked into his eyes. His face lit up as your eyes met. "I would buy you a rose every day just to see you smile like that," he said, making your heart speed up.

And suddenly, love didn't feel as far away anymore. Maybe it was right under your nose the whole time.

𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐆𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐲.

Pair:  Jaemin x reader Genre:  Fluff, romance, established relationship WC:  2k Synopsis:  A rare early morning spent suspended above the city with your lover by your side.

  There’s a certain sound of the city just before the sun has risen. It’s a different type of silence; one of anticipated liveliness, one that is never truly quiet. It’s the sound of buses and taxis driving about on their routes, engines revving upon green lights and brakes squeaking upon red. The vibration of the engine that carries its way up, up, up through the space between the buildings, reverberates through the stillness of the morning. It’s white noise–muffled and forgettable most of the time. That is unless it’s dawn, only then does it ring serene.

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“Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.”

― Jamie Anderson

it’s yours - haechan imagine

i miss hyuck so yea here’s another scenario😭🥺💛 hope you like it! also stream beatbox!! what’s your favorite track of the album? 

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