30 Day Fictionkind Challenge

3, 4, 9, 16! :D - Alex

Thank you very much for the ask!

3 - How long have you known you were otherkin?

That's honestly a little difficult to answer; I think I've known on some level for around 7-8 years now, but never accepted myself until the last year or so, when I made a complete turnaround and not only got myself involved in the idea of psychological kin, but spiritual as well. It's been quite a long journey, especially in the middle of those 7-8 years when the concept wasn't even in my mind, but I'm glad to finally seek self-acceptance. 7-8 years on a larger scale, but for me to acknowledge that I knew and to work with it? 2 or so years.

4 - What reminds you of home?

Difficult to say as my kin runs more psychological than spiritual, but I gave this one some thought and feel I have a few answers! Some smaller things in my daily life give me little reminders, my stacks of books marking that the desire for reading and learning never quite left. Scents are also big for me! I have a few candles and some incense on my altar, with the more subtle scents tugging at me a bit more.

Larger feelings, unsurprisingly, come from the replicated shirt and wings I've made. I've worn the shirt publicly multiple times, but the wings stay firmly on my wall. I have a pair of antennae I made as well and while I haven't worn those nearly as much, part of me strongly wants to wear them at least once to see if I feel comfortable with them.

The strongest feelings come from things I don't have control over at all. There are certain ways the clouds roll in that make me recall flight and certain songs that evoke strong responses from me, both positive and negative (and I do plan to post at least two playlists with the songs that do this). Looking over royal architecture is one of the strongest, feeling so small in such large, ostentatious halls, more than anything wanting to find myself pacing them again.

Overall, I suppose, in a sense, "home" is less a location and more of a concept for me.

9 - What was your first kintype?

Difficult to say! The only one I can think of would be the M.ettaton from the Und.erfell AU of Un.dertale; that was the first time I ever considered the idea that I might be otherkin, but never pursued the concept any further, just eyeing it with wary curiosity. Interestingly, while that linkage was definitely a work of projection and trauma response, so is my current kintype; the difference is in how intensely I experience this current type vs how loosely I interacted with the previous one. I'm not sure if I would call it a kintype, honestly.

16 - What are some challenges that you face with being otherkin?

The biggest ones were the ones imposed by myself! One of the biggest initial hurdles was that accepting my kin identity made me feel like I was losing touch with reality. Truth be told, my awakening to my identity happened through intense dissociative experiences I fought to pathologize - my therapist was the one who suggested I take a step back and look at it in a more spiritual light (so as not to condemn myself for my experiences). I still believe I may be experiencing a form of multiplicity, but the experiences are no longer intense and distressing; I no longer feel strongly disconnected when I have shifts.

I suppose another is simply existing as is - as someone in the otherkin community, a community which has been highly mocked in the past, the mocking being the first thing people likely think of when they hear the word. It made me want to cringe at myself, but being part of several other groups that tend to be stigmatized - autistic, trans, amongst other things - helped me begin to move beyond that. I still hold fear over what others may think of me, but at the end of the day, my behavior isn't harmful and it makes me happy, so I'm willing to be more open about it.

More current challenges? I would say incorporating my identity into my more daily life. I do use the name Shai in my day to day, and went through the two-hour process of getting a tattoo of the wings I no longer possess, but part of me very much wants to go further. It's difficult, being a feminine trans man with butterfly accessories, but I would consider it to be the price I pay to feel more at home - the people closest to me know I am a man at the very least.

recipe for shaiapouf from hunter x hunter @bandage-hearted-butterfly

so the obvious choice for blue and purple to me is butterfly pea flower tea, but anyone can tell you to buy dried butterfly pea blossoms and then steep them to make an herbal tea so i went to find something a bit more complex. this recipe includes simple syrup, which can be bought or made. its really simple to make simple syrup, so i'll include instructions on how to make that as well

simple syrup

1/2 cup granulated sugar

1/2 cup water

add water to sugar in a small saucepan over medium heat, stirring until the sugar dissolves. let it cool, then pour into a clean jar and lid it. it'll keep in your fridge for about one month

butterfly pea milk tea

1 teaspoon dried butterfly pea flowers

1 cup water

1 tablespoon simple syrup

1/4 cup milk, dairy or non-dairy

optional: tapioca pearls cooked according to their packaging instructions

bring the water to a boil in a small pot and add the butterfly pea flowers. turn off the heat and steep for 5 minutes. when it reaches a rich blue color, discard the flowers and let tea cool

if using tapioca pearls, add them to the bottom of a 16 oz mug or glass. add ice and pour cooled tea. add 1 tablespoon simple syrup and milk of your choice

Apricity

(A-pri-si-ti)

Noun

The warmth of the sun in winter.

Homemaker-❤️

Playlist Challenge!

I see a lot of “kin playlists” on the “fluffy” side of otherkin tumblr, so I decided to put more thought into a “playlist challenge”! I find it hard to believe that a stranger can “assign” someone a playlist for their personal canon, so why not do it yourself instead?

This is, of course, geared towards fictionkin. However, copinglinkers and otherhearted can also participate!

Despite the tag “ask meme”, this is meant to be one playlist, not a bunch of asks asdfghjk. Though it can be done that way!!

1. A song that personally reminds you of your kintype in general/just has their “vibes”.

2. A song that thematically reflects your kintype in some way.

3. A song that reminds you of a happy or fond memory.

4. A song that brings forth a more negative memory.

5. A song that reflects a significant event in their life, bad or good.

6. A song that tends to put you in a mental or phantom shift.

7. A song that you associate with an important figure in your kintype’s life.

8. A song representing your kintype in an archetypal manner. Down to their base personality.

9. A song that reminds you of your kintype’s past.

10. If there are any, a song canonically related to your kintype, either in the source’s official soundtrack (if there is one) or just a song that the canon source’s creator associates them with.

11. A song that is commonly associated with them that, while not your personal choice, you can still enjoy.

12. A song that reminds you of your current life, is in stark contrast to your kintype, or can easily snap you out of a shift. Perfect end to a kintype playlist.

Other traditions have their symbols on necklaces, and I think that's what my butterfly choker is akin to

You know, I don't think I'm afraid anymore, I don't want to fight anymore, and I've come to see how fundamental this is to me. It isn't something I chose, so fighting performs a disservice to it.

I don't think I'm afraid anymore.

I think I love you.

I love you.

Why is it so much more painful this time? I can barely look myself in the mirror, the disconnect is so great; the short term memory gaps seem to be less often but that's also been a new manifestation. There were definitely times in the past where I'd been jarred by the face I see in the reflection but it's never been quite like this.

@classicaldreams

𝓜.

It's been quite some time since I've last written here, and I'm excited to announce how I've been doing! After over a year of work, I've finally become much more comfortable in my identity as fictionkin and have incorporated it into my life as a spiritual belief ✨️ I plan to open up a bit more about my thoughts and feelings regarding this because I spent quite a long time in therapy sorting out how I felt about this, and have made the decision to no longer push this aspect of myself away as it's been crucial to my recovery and to understanding myself. I'm grateful for the existence of a community that's allowed me to be able to make sense of my thoughts and emotions, and plan to have a bit more on this blog as I continue to work with my identity 💖