I've Joined The Server And Oh, It Is So Busy-

"You're everything! You're rose petals and vanilla and soft candles and clouds! What a joy to know you! To have been afforded a chance to know you and to have taken it! To indulge and be indulged! How joyous indeed!"

Night Scene at Sumida River   -    Kobayashi Kiyochika , 1930.

Japanese ,  1847-1915

Woodblock, 10 1/8 x 7 ½ in.

It's the question almost of asking what exactly he is to me - a word, a phrase, a term to encompass, with the full knowledge that there simply may not be one.

Kin or fictive, for certain, but also with the presence as an f/o as well; the actual relationship I have with this character is muddled but he's remained an ever-present force in my life and I simply would not trade my experience for the world.

I want to be associated with him, I want people to see him and immediately think of me, I know it's what I've wanted for quite some time, and the amount of love that has come from my interactions with him speaks volumes about him and what he means to me.

I suppose there simply may not be any one answer. That's something I've come to terms with and have accepted. But, it does interest me so greatly to see how this has grown and developed.

I've actually made a small list of these things on a whiteboard and, as silly as it feels, there's something immensely satisfying about having written it out

Thinking I may very much lean into fictionkinity in daily life as I think it may help self care feel less like a chore.. I believe he had specific traits due to insect features, traits which I still possess due to my hEDS, so I think some simple transference of tasks would be helpful for me.

More liquids (ant and butterfly diet), better skincare (moisture necessary for overall insect health), care that is specific to me that feels so much more natural than the brute force I've been trying to apply

La Sainte-Chapelle in Paris, France - 2010

Château de Versailles

Versailles, France, 27 VIII 2023

MARTIN GASPARYAN - İstanbul

I must say, othercon is making me feel genuine pride and comfort in my kin identity 💖

Am I stressing myself into splitting?

The nature of this blog means that it would be a fantastic place for me to catalogue my reading; it's also making me face the unfortunate reality of seeing that I don't seem to be reading very much this year..