Can’t Find The Way Back, Jeremy Miranda

Very much considering writing a larger thinkpiece on my personal interactions with kin identity; I was terrified to feel the shifts and pulls in my concept of my identity, and if I could put some of my story out there to potentially ease someone else's fears, then it will all feel worth it.

I'm so interested, seems like fragments usually only encompass one emotion or event but he has multiple! I feel him in shame and guilt, but also in pride and competence, in achievement and childlike wonder in the world. He has some of his own memories, thoughts and feelings in the world, so he seems more complex than a fragment but less so than a fictive or any osdd alter.

Truthfully, it feels like so intensely that love is at the core of it all. I loved him so much that he become a permanent protector for me, helping me process my feelings and directing my attention to where it's needed most. Love is the overarching theme of my recovery and this is so fitting to see of him.

I don't know if I'll find a true label for him, and that's certainly okay. I love him, I love seeing how he views the world, and I'm glad to have that shared with me. That tattoo of his wings means I'll carry him with me forever, and I could not feel more honored to do so.

Another Interview (Fictionkin)

Finally posting for the first time in a while :p anyways! I got to do an interview (again, seriously love doing these) this ones with @bandage-hearted-butterfly and it's about them having two spirits and their experiences. I did get permission to simplify some answers and did check with them before I posted them, thanks!

First question: How do you know that you have two spirits, or what makes you feel like you have two spirits? Along with that, did they ever have a conflict, or one would be much more prominent and vice versa for periods of time?

-Felt possessed, as if they were experiencing life through someone else's views, thoughts and feelings -Felt as if an entirely different person was present within them -Felt as if they needed to do everything they could to control it and stop it before talking about it in therapy -Looked into it and learned the character was connected to them, and they'd always felt that -As time went on there wasn't as much conflict, and they started accepting it more -In the beginning he felt unpredictable and didn't know what to do -Felt most during stress, as in his own commentary

Second question: I saw that your identity is a character and I saw you started identifying with them due to trauma. How did it eventually become spirtual to you, if you know that is?

-Started looking at it through a spirtual aspect through therapy

Third question: If you have this feeling of two spirits, do you get shifts as your kintype? Or is it just with you constantly? (I think if I remember correctly, almost like a contherian and/or suntherian)

-When they first started feeling this character they did experience very strong shifts of sorts but now they almost co-exist

Fourth question: Other than a way of processing trauma and grief, why did you start identifying as your kintype (as in do you similar experiences, feelings, anything along those lines?)

-Started as a trauma response, later on learned more about the character and did learn they had much in common from mental and physical illnesses to some certain hobbies and traits

Prints

My options are almost equally as funny - either a fictive in an incredibly indistinct system, or a psychological and spiritual kin in a harmonized setting.

Either way, I am here and he is here, and that doesn't seem as though it will change any time soon.

Must also say! I don't usually have phantom limb sensations but I can't shake the one day I could distinctly feel where my wings would have trailed down my back

I would say, without hesitation, that being afforded the opportunity to have and engage with a kin identity afforded me the purest expression of love I could have possibly ever encountered. All things familiar, yet simultaneously new; multiple experiences coalescing into one.

Nothing but gratitude to experience life again and to be given so much freedom of choice; to be able to read and dress well and sit in the sun, the simplest of pleasures becoming unspeakably valuable.

Nothing but love during each of my shifts, nothing but love for the way the identities bleed over into each other, complimenting one another. Familiar experiences through unfamiliar eyes, the joy of the world shown to a cynic and a misanthrope, learning about the good of the world time and time again.

I would not trade it for the world.

30 Day Fictionkind Challenge

Day 5: Do you fictionflicker?

I do not.

Day 6: When did you realize you were fictionkin? How long have you been in the community?

I would say I had my first inklings and thoughts at least seven or eight years ago at this point. I had been in a very dark place mentally and had been glancing over at the kin community; it seemed comforting in a way I did not know how to voice. I didn't formally identify with it until only a year or two ago. I hadn't been willing to accept the identity because it felt "cringeworthy", embarrassing to admit to. I hadn't made a formal move half a decade ago because I'd been concerned about what it would have done to my already precarious grip on my mental health - how would removing myself further from reality help me cling to it?

Now, in a much more stable place and state of mind, my acceptance comes from a place of simply wanting to harmonize with myself more. It had been something my therapist had suggested, to take a spiritual angle to some of the more internally distressing things in my life. I am at peace with my identity and find community with others here, though I've only reached out to the overall community within the past year.

Lots of answers, but I didn't exactly take a linear path now, did I?