Primary Color Pride. There's The Primary Colors Of Light (red, Blue, And Green), The Primary Colors Of

I'm not gay, but I AM asexual. If I wasn't targeted for supporting queer people, I would be targeted for never dating (if she's not interested in men, she must be hiding an interest in women! Gasp!).

no i'm a filthy socialist, get your facts straight

Okay fuck this

Chime off in the tags if more than one applies to you

Huh?

heh.

The kingdom that used to reign here was very particular about dancing. One day, an architect named Walter Chasse invented a special dance floor such that in order to pass through, one had to literally waltz across the room. If you mis-stepped, a rubber-tipped dart would “helpfully” point out your error. The queen absolutely loved it, and commissioned several for the royal grounds. These dance floors eventually became fashionable among the nobility, who used them in games of political one-upmanship. Eventually, someone had the bright idea to replace the “permissive” rubber-tipped darts for a more “exacting” variety, and the rest is history.

When you enter this room, why does the door shut and lock itself, and why do the walls start to close in very slowly?

Why do we even HAVE that lever?

Back in the day, my old gaming group used to play a game called “why do we even have that lever?”. It works like this:

1. Person A describes a puzzle or trap - the sort of bizarre adventurer-shredding contraption you might encounter in the course of an old-school dungeon crawl that makes absolutely no sense if the dungeon in question was ever supposed to be a facility that people actually used.

2. Person B proposes an explanation for what the “trap” in question is really for - i.e., why it’s not a trap at all, but a totally practical feature of whatever sort of place the dungeon originally was.

3. Person B then describes their own trap to keep the game going.

The only hard rule is that the explanation offered in step 2 absolutely can’t be “it’s a puzzle” or “it’s a trap”; you have to propose some pragmatic function that actually makes sense in the context of the dungeon being the ruins of someplace where people lived and worked. The way it currently works can be justified as a consequence of it having malfunctioned or partially fallen apart, but there has to be some plausible purpose it could have originally served.

For example, I might ask:

“Why is there a room where the entire ceiling is a giant magnet?”

… and you might respond:

“It’s a security checkpoint for the armoury of magical weapons that lies beyond. The presence of the magnet means that weapons can only be safely brought in and out of the armoury using special weighted cases, making it very difficult to steal or substitute items.”

“It’s a laboratory formerly used for experiments involving dangerous creatures from the Elemental Plane of Earth. The powerful magnetic field wholly paralyses all but the mightiest earth elementals, allowing them to be studied at one’s leisure.”

“It’s the old Queen’s gaming room. During her reign, a game of strategy involving man-sized stone pieces on a multi-level board had become fashionable. Though most such games required large work crews to move the pieces around, the Queen’s magnetic chamber - in conjunction with large metal bars driven into the core of each piece - allows the pieces to be manipulated by a single person. Many of the pieces still lay scattered about the room, in various states of disrepair.”

Then you’d describe your own trap.

I’ll start us off with a simple (and apropos) one:

Why is there a lever that drops a giant stone block on the person who pulled it?

The point of officially naming a pet is not to actually use that name but to have a baseline from which to come up with every conceivable nickname to call them instead.

Okay but how many students were recording this for posterity? How many people wanted proof that "Uncle Fruitloop" was a real live person and pulled out their phones to record? How many wide-eyed undergrads now have video proof of Vlad "THE Rich White Guy™" Masters bickering with a twenty-year-old, implying yandere levels of stalkerdom towards said twenty-year-old's mother, and then driving off with him as if this was perfectly normal behavior?

Within 2 days of the argument, "Uncle Fruitloop" goes viral. There are vicious debates over whether or not the videos are real. Business moguls are suddenly very interested in the boy Masters apparently wants as an apprentice. "Motherfucker wannabe" becomes a meme.

When asked about the conversation, Vlad Masters claims his nephew is simply overdramatic and refuses to acknowledge further questions. Naturally this only raises further questions.

I can’t stop thinking about how Vlad is like the DP universe equivalent of some strange queer crossbreed between Elongated Muskrat and Jefferham Bezos AND he’s also Danny’s shitty uncle. But you would never even consider the two know each other, because Danny is just some guy, nobody would ever make a connection between him and Vlad unless you were close enough with either of them or you lived in AP. Imagine being Danny’s college roommate. Imagine how shocking and chaotic that would be. There’s some random weird ass kid from some backwater town, that you can barely remember the name of, sharing a room with you. And like, he’s chill for the most part. Weird as hell at times but easy enough to get along with. He brings up his uncle sometimes and the guy sounds more and more insane each time your roommate describes him. “What kind of pathetic old man gets into a prank war with a teenager?” “What do you mean he named his cat after your mom?? ” “Why didn’t you call the cops on him when he spiked your dad’s drink at the New Year’s party so he wouldn’t have to listen to him?!!” Your roommate’s creepy gross sad lonely uncle becomes kind of an inside joke between you and your friends. That’s why, when your roommate announces that his uncle is coming to pick him up and drive him home for some important family event, you all gather near the parking lot to finally witness this myth of a man in real life. It’s also why you nearly faint in shock when Vlad fucking Masters steps out of a car to greet your roommate who, without missing a beat, immediately calls him a bitch.

I usually use "I literally give no fucks", but yours is also excellent

i was trying to explain asexuality to an acquaintance and in the heat of the moment i summarized it as "it's like different strokes for different folks, but some folks prefer fewer-to-no strokes."

and then i had to stop and process what i'd just said

Got photos of the eclipse this morning

Potential angst/plot idea for the Phandom:

https://www.sciencealert.com/a-zap-from-an-electric-eel-could-give-nearby-organisms-new-genes

Electric shocks can open brief holes in a cell's membrane, allowing DNA and other things inside when the lipid bilayer would normally block them out. When it's done deliberately, it's called electroporation, and it's sometimes used for medical treatment. With a careful, low-voltage application, but still.

What if Danny's portal accident electroporated his cells with ectoplasm? What if being electrified sped up Danny's becoming a halfa? What if the shock from the portal opening was crucial not only to killing him, but also to reviving him?

What if Vlad learned that he could create a halfa by dunking a living person into ectoplasm and electrocuting them?

Someone's probably already done this in better quality, but here you go

But what if it was all a dream