ko11-luw

Latest Posts by ko11-luw

I will never understand how and why people seriously hate on teenage Ford. I get not liking some of the things he would do later in life, sure, but was he really wrong for how he behaved before his and Stan's falling out?

If you ask me, then no, I don't think he was. Because what did he want? Why was there a rift between the brothers even before the science fair?

For all of his youth Ford had a very strong desire to be seen for something other than what he was born as. Because who was he, really? One of a set of twins? Specifically the weird one with six fingers? And of course, he loved his brother and wanted him to be a part of his life, but that's the thing, isn't it. He, Ford, wanted Stan, his twin who was very dear to him, in his life, but it would be Ford's own one, separate from Stan's. He didn't want to be just one half of a person anymore and he didn't want Stan to be that way either. Stan, however, who had throughout his life repeatedly been told that he is worth nothing without Ford, obviously clung to this "dynamic duo" hard. And actually I can't help but think that here Stan was the one whose emotions were unhealthy. Because how wrong is it to just want to be your own person and to follow your ambitions?

Actually this may or may not be a hot take, but I do believe that everyone would be so much better off if everything went well and Ford got into his dream university. Both Stan and Ford would be able to develop as people separately from each other, while still being on good terms. In canon so much of their lives was defined by attempts to fill the hole in their lives which was left in the absence of the other twin. And besides, Stan would not have that need to focus solely on earning as much money as possible as quickly as possible (which is what got him into all the legal trouble that he found himself in. I do think he could've settled down and done somewhat well, just didn't, because people don't become millionaires by getting a minimum wage job and settling down, do they?).

life path

hi hi hi more commissions 💥

u get my sad post for today SORRYYYYYYY💔💔💔💔

very good, now make them lesbians

uncensored version and closeups under cut. I just don't know how tumblr would react on a lil bit of nudity. cw: bare tits (just in case)

click for better quality :3

god bless women

A mug is home.

Stanley Pines never really had a ceramic mug, ot was always those plastic and carton cups for his coffee and his coffee always tasted like shit...he always liked it creamier, with milk and sugar but that costed extra and caffeine is what kills his hunger easiest.

When he began living as Stanford Pines he used the dishes that were already there, finally he could carry around a steaming cup of coffee down to the basement, boring and white.

Then he became Mr Mystery and began selling mugs as part of merchandise: a classic ugly yellow with a question mark. A mug?

It was for customers only, or at least it was supposed to be but Stanley fojnd himself taking one for himself. He found himself dropping the Stanford act more and more because yeah it was a ceramic mug but it was HIS.

Then the little twins came along...by then things had changed a lot but it was never truly home. It was Ford's house afterall. Still, if Stan closed his eyes and ignored the many nights and early sunrises he spends in the basement, he could almost pretend it was a home.

He is one day handed a mug. It is glittery and messy and probably has materials that wouldn't be safe do drink from. It is his mug, given by the twins. It is HIS.

A ceramic mug is something you only get when you settle, when you plan to stay and wake up under the same roof for a long time. It is a promise of home.

A mug is home.

Later on, when Ford and Stan prepare to sail away, Stanley insists they shoukd make their own mugs from scratch.

neon tetras

Here's a little butterfly skeleton i drew, totally scientifically accurate

(source: trust me bro)

Do we ever talk about how Stanley aged? And I don't mean in a "haha younger twin look older" kinda way, but just how much he ran himself into the ground?

Imagine what Ford was thinking once he got a good look at Stanley. Without the judgement or bitterness, without the haze. REALLY looked at him. His sunken eyes, his thinning and greying hair, the layer of chub that has accumulated on his torso and arms. The amount of scars and marks he had earned.

The realization of just how much Stanley neglected himself in favor of him. Neglected himself in favor of the kids, of the business, of everything.

Maybe even the realization of how HE would have looked, if Stanley didn't swoop in all those years ago. How HE would look if he had to fight sleep at night and work his ass off during the day like he planned. The realization that Stanley took all that burden, and he'd do it again for him in a heartbeat.

quick sketch to cheer our favorite old man victory

i think it's unfortunate you cant really discuss the possible connotations of bills abuse of ford in an allegory for sexual abuse because everyone is so quick to defend their triangle when the room for that discussion is very present

i mean even without going into all the metaphorical mess with the possession theres just the straight up nonconsensual public nudity and sexually charged tattoo bill forced ford into getting

would i call the way these are played off in the canon tasteless? yeah. but regardless this did occur

and as for the possession. not only is it literally in this mentality of "you said yes the first time which means you say yes for every single time i do this to you/you cant take back your consent" that is very Indicative of something but this literally is a violation of fords body and control and anything at a fundamental level.

I wanted to draw fish more than ford lol

it shows, bro's kinda crooked don't mind him

look at him with fish. so happy to have the fish. let the old man have the fish

original pic under the cut

look at him with fish. so happy to have the fish. let the old man have the fish

original pic under the cut

gravity falls if it was awesome

+ alternate wendy bc i wasn’t sure if i wanted to assign her off her red hair or zodiac

also don’t ask why the stans match but mabel and dipper don’t idk either 😭

fish I guess

happy first post to me

Hc that Ford gets a job at a local community college as a physics prof after he and Stan are done sailing around the world and fulfills his destiny as the eccentric professor he was always meant to be

And he quickly gains a reputation amongst the stem students as That Professor

I bet his ratemyprof reviews would be insane:

“He didn’t grade any of our homework until the end of the semester, but he brought something called a ‘plaidypus’ to class and let us pet it. Her name was Dorothy. 5/5”

“He constantly ranted about how ‘triangles are the most untrustworthy shape’ whatever that means. Also he doesn’t know how to use the internet. I hated his class. 5/5”

And many more iterations of “this guy is terrible. 5 stars”

adventure time slang is weird cuz like. when you first watch the show and hear the slang you're like "oh this is cringy slang but its not like awful" but it gets to a point where the voice actors deliver the slang so naturally you don't even notice it and its just. part of the world's vernacular. I can't think of any other show that's done in-universe slang like this

I really want to talk about how Fords body is depicted

Hear me out, i promise it's not as weird as it sounds lol. But in the Book of Bill there is an image where we can see Ford without a shirt looking like this:

Meanwhile in Journal 3 he writes this:

"I've spent the last 30 years keeping up and extensive exercise and diet regimen."

However when we compare his physique in the Book of Bill vs. The Show, we can see that his body seemingly hasn't changed. As you can see he even fits in the same jacket (which is impressive in it's own right after 30 years)

And yeah, in Journal 3 he wrote about the past 30 years, which means that picture was taken before he began his diet. For all we know he could hide a sixpack under that turtleneck lol. But I personally chose to believe that THIS (aka the first photo where hes shirtless) is his form of extensive exercise and diet.

And this is very personal to me because I basically have this exact same body type. I look rather skinny with clothes on, but without them there is quite a bit of fat. And no matter what I do (for example dieting or exercising like Ford) it stays that way. The only way to get rid of it is to literally not eat at all and we can all agree that this is neither healthy, nor sustainable. And it's nice to see that a healthy body doesn't have to mean that you're skinny, you can still have a bit of body fat and be in good shape!

I just find it nice to have my body type represented in a character that means very much to me, especially since I struggled a lot with it in the past.

I thought I'd share my thoughts because maybe other people can relate:)

Cw&Tw : suggestive, drugs, implication of SA and Abused.

:P I actually have no word to say about it except the tragic life of Stanley Pines so,,,yea. Bc to me, i think he was forced to do it either out if desperation for drugs(it was his escape)or money, or someone forced him to do it bc he caused them pretty money🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️

Also, i accidentally deleted the second part of the clip n needed to redraw the whole thing again....

Theoretically, if i have a nickle every time this happens, i'll have 2 nickle, which ain't a lot, but it weird that it happened TWICE in TWO days.

dang..

Crying during sex - Ethel cain.

Yea, rn i'm on a mission to draw stan to as much song from her as possible, and, yes, i do hurt my own feelings during the journey, too, obviously.

ALSO, it might look a bit weird i, a stupid ass, accidentally deleted the whole flie. Yea, i managed to saved some of them before it happened, but still,,,

Anyway i hope this hurts other people feelings like it did mine🎀🎀

🎀💫🎀

I think one of the reasons stanford pines appeals to me is that in most other cases he would have been a villain. Hes an angry abuse survivor. Hes visibly traumatized. He has a physical abnormality. Even before the stuff with Bill or the portal hes socially inept, he has trouble taking care of himself, he has trouble expressing himself and connecting, he has strange interests he fixates on. Hes weird. He’s different than other ppl. Hes alienated. Hes flawed and hes angry and hes dysfunctional and his problems and differences arent always pretty or charming. Hes the kind of character I would normally have to settle for picking through villains or bad caricatures or both to find.

But the cool thing about Ford is hes a protagonist. Not only that, he’s got genuinely a good heart. He cares about people, hes kind and sincere. He messes up but he admits being wrong, takes responsibility for his actions, and tries to fix things. He perpetually means well. Hes not only defined by his flaws or differences and we arent supposed to hate him because of them. Hes complex and imperfect and divergent and good all at the same fucking time, and it matters so fucking much to me

Hc that Ford had a hard time finding food fit for human consumption on a regular basis while he was out there dimension hopping, so when he came back, he was pretty underweight. By contrast, Stan has put his own health on the back burner for 30 years to get the portal working again, so he’s not doing so hot in the health department either.

Anyway, I think that living at sea eating 3 meals a day and doing a lot of physical labor does wonders for them both. Stan loses weight, Ford gains weight, they both have that sparkle and zest for life back, and when they show up in Piedmont for Thanksgiving (Mabel sent them invitations) to their surprise, people have a hard time telling them apart. When they finally really LOOK at each other in the mirror, they look more like twins than they have in decades.

Stanley not wanting to sit anywhere else at the pool because he had already decided which was his seat♡

I headcanon he has the thing where he has to sit in the same seat at the table and in the diner- it's his seat like the couch is his seat too and so is the driver's seat (unless he's teaching a bear to drive)

An animated comic based on the end scene from “Not What He Seems”

This is only the first page! See the rest    HERE   !!

So Gravity Falls has quickly become one of, if not my favorite, shows on television right now. Like most, the latest episode had a huge impact on me. I loved everything about it, the writing, the animation, the visuals, the voice acting, characterization, etc. There was so much love and thought and talent that had gone into every aspect that it really inspired me to make an homage to my favorite scene. So I hope you enjoy! And join me in pensive agony as we wait for the next episode this summer. 

10/16/2024 EDIT:

So I’m updating this post! I’ve been seeing enough people re-discovering it that I figured I’d take out the broken link and put the rest of the pages up. Hope y’all enjoy =]

LITTLE GREEN ALIEN MASTERPOST

i am reuploading these bc tbh im convinced twitter will die,

i draw little aliens to show how i feel cuz i cant properly explain through text and like. heres a couple of them.

Why Stanford Pines from Gravity Falls is Autistic, and Why It Matters

Here’s a meta I consider long overdue; the title says it all. I’ve analyzed Ford and why he resonates with me for over three years and casually lived in his head close to that magic number, six, but I’ve never addressed this fundamental reason. I’m not the only one who reads Ford as autistic, so I figured we deserve a lengthy manifesto. Now more than ever, we need stories of unconditional acceptance instead of voyeuristic awareness; April is the cruelest month.

Normally this is where I’d disclaim I’m no medical professional, but I don’t feel like enforcing normalcy. Autistic people are foremost experts on our own experience, and we don’t need analyses this extensive for permission to see ourselves in fictional characters. This analysis is also not concerned with authorial intent; in fiction as in reality, we’re here whether you want us or not.

I’ve divided this meta between various criteria Ford meets. Overly long post incoming, press j to pay respects.

Motor control issues

Let’s start tenuously before getting into weightier evidence - why suggest that a character who runs and jumps well into his sixties may have motor control issues? Because they can improve with practice, and Ford is markedly unathletic early in life. He’s introduced stumbling from trying to un-board the cave and insisting “I can keep up!” (dogear that). Factor in his D- in gym and the way he reads during boxing lessons intended to protect both boys from bullies, and it seems that Ford only became physically adept when forced to fend for himself without Stan.

Eye contact

Ford frequently averts eye contact during tense moments, which admittedly could indicate typical fraught emotions as much as a breakdown of performance. His deathglare toward Stan and intense gaze talking to Dipper could more strongly indicate that he makes eye contact consciously and counterintuitively, because he sees it as an assertion of power (hence his discomfort under Bill’s gaze). Ford’s shifty eyes post-betrayal, signature surprised owlface, thousand-yard stare thinking of “the dark weird road [he travels]”, and unchanging expression as he hugs Fiddleford and doesn’t register Stan are additional animation tics implying he breaks eye contact easily.

Physical contact

Ford seems to have a complicated relationship with touch like many autistic people. He easily startles at Stan unexpectedly touching his shoulder (as kids, first reunion) or grabbing him (Fearamid fight, end credits). Touch aversion may explain his visceral reaction to Bill violating his personal space with mock affection.

Ford appears more comfortable initiating than receiving touch, especially arms’-length nudges and shoulder touches; the kids’ surprise at his adorable tackle-hug suggests it’s uncharacteristic. He also expects a handshake when Fiddleford goes in for a hug, misreading his body language and cue to “come here.”

Stimming

The animation emphasizes Ford’s hands in all their six-fingered glory, giving him unique repetitive mannerisms that can be interpreted as stimming. These include rapping his fingers nervously over the journal (“The Last Mabelcorn”), rolling the DD&MD die, twirling his gun, and wiggling his fingers (narrating DD&MD, taunting Bill).

Pressure stimming could explain why Ford wears heavy clothes throughout his life. This comes to represent his guardedness, as he wears the fewest layers while content with Stan and Gravity Falls and the most while trusting no one, but it may have literally resulted from PTSD compounding his stimming so that he only feels safe weighted down. In the end he keeps the sweater, unburdened but still holding to that feeling of security. Likewise, Ford’s pattern of puffing his chest (especially in danger) may be a pressure stim to anchor himself, holding back the fear and weightlessness he feels inside.

Comfort objects

Ford has saved his coat and childhood photo of himself and Stan for over 30 years, suggesting a grounding attachment to them. He clearly shows a more-than-professional attachment to his journals, embracing his hands -his identity- through them even literally as he sleeps holding one to his heart (just as Bill starts toying with it). Writing in the journals is Ford’s coping mechanism when “I’m not sure I am who I am” and “I JUST DON’T KNOW ANYMORE”. That panicked “you don’t understand!” is putting it lightly.

Sensory issues

Ford has a pattern of shielding his ears in stressful situations: Bill whispering in his mind, his pre-fight argument with Stan, his nightmares, and his confrontation with Dipper. (“Everyone, plug your ears!” he demonstrates despite knowing the memory gun won’t affect him.) In addition to blocking noise under stress, his hands apparently ground him by clutching his coat, journal, and (during Stan’s amnesia) his neck and wrists stigmatized by the chains.

Contrast Ford fnord playing Bavarian Fire Drill with the agents and his dumbfounded response to the kids crowding him, and it’s clear he gets overwhelmed under pressure; Stan may have steered attention away from him for Ford’s comfort as much as his own. At the kids’ birthday we see that Ford has practice slipping out of crowds, literally relying on Stan for support when all eyes are on him.

Conversely, Ford shares many autistic people’s unusual tolerances or otherwise has difficulty communicating discomfort. Based on “cycloptopus roll” in the journal, Ford has no problem eating something Stan says “smells like if death could barf”. He tolerates heat when shaving with fire and wearing heavy clothes all the time (possibly to prevent sensory overload, as it’s always the same sweater unlike Mabel). Ford also shows only momentary discomfort being shot, knocked unconscious, crushed under rubble, chained, and electrocuted, which… same? “Stop thinking” and “focus on your intellect and control your fear” are exactly the self-regulation measures we develop to tolerate sensory overload.

Executive dysfunction

Autistic people often experience executive dysfunction due to our singlemindedness toward goals, which Ford exhibits in spades. He jumps into major decisions (sending Stan away both times, apprenticeship, quantum destabilizer) without thinking of setbacks or long-term consequences and resists changing plans (frustration at research roadblocks, inability to adjust opinions of Stan). His aggrieved “we just need to lay low and think of a plan” reflects a conscious difficulty with planning that negates his mental health.

Ford evidently subordinates his needs in pursuing goals, his rooms a mess in 1982 and 2012 as he wears out and sleeps in clothes desperately projecting his academic identity. Lighting his face on fire because “it’s much faster than shaving” resembles flawed shortcuts we use to maintain hygiene against executive dysfunction.

Meltdowns

Ford’s paranoid breakdown shows signs of involving meltdowns. In addition to his defensive body language, when Stan applies pressure Ford suddenly loses all patience, filter, and ability to articulate what “you don’t understand” (his suffering, what the journal means to him). Meltdowns stem from pain, and he’s “up against [and has] been through” more than enough.

I’ve seen Ford’s confrontation of Dipper interpreted as a panic attack before, and I think it can also read as a meltdown. First we see Ford’s spiraling mile-a-minute thoughts (while asleep), then he’s urgently demanding the rift and yelling defensively (“I was gonna say please, kid!”) -exactly how it feels when the walls close in and our words fall away. In appealing to Dipper’s rationality, Ford talks them both down.

Ford has also hurt himself under stress, punching the blackboard and his head (while cursing his metal plate in the finale).

Difficulty reading social cues

“I haven’t been in this dimension for a really long time” = Ford’s A+ excuse for not knowing if it’s “still” normal for kids to say “greetings” or have weapons, when ironically it never was. He also thinks mind control can be used “responsibly”, presumably with consent as Bill normalized to him before.

For all of Ford’s insecurities about how people perceive him, he’s often oblivious to it. He doesn’t register Dipper’s unease at him shaving with fire, being unsure the aliens are dead, or jumping with the magnet gun. He brushes off Stan saying “he’s lost his mind”, then meets his demands for thanks with a blunt “what?” -for once more confused than angry. Based on his awkward laughter before a girl throws punch on him at prom, it seems Ford’s lack of social skills contributed to his difficulty making friends growing up.

Empathy

Autistic people often experience unusually high or low empathy, even fluctuating between both; Ford evidently lacks and/or suppresses empathy in his fight with Stan, the person closest to him. Without intending harm he jumps to conclusions and won’t hear Stan’s side, thinks tactlessly appealing to their sailing dream or giving Stan until the end of the summer will incentivize him leaving, and does not realize Stan is homeless until called on it. Ford often displays the autistic tendency to speak without a filter - he’s right that codependency stifles individuality, but calling it “suffocating”? Blunt as a left-hook. Perhaps Bill ensnared him promising a relationship of shared interests where he’d sooner decode ciphers than emotions.

There’s a case for Ford being hyperempathetic with difficulty expressing it. He makes half-steps toward reconciliation that only anger Stan more: offering to share his fun with DD&MD, fixing the lightbulb, giving Dipper the mind control tie to help Stan win the election. One standout response is his sincere laughter at Stan’s “my brain isn’t good for anything”: he knows the feeling, but it sounds absurd coming from a socially adept person he values, so he affirms Stan’s worth by intuitively treating this statement like the joke it is.

Whether sympathy or empathy, Ford’s care for others shines through his concerted effort to seem aloof and cut them off. He repeats “I’m sorry Fiddleford” in his mind nonstop, his tale recounting the insensitive things he said but not how he desperately held Fiddleford in the unfiltered later flashback. He relates to Dipper’s interests, insecurities, and drive enough to hastily propose “a dream come true”. He knows exactly how to reassure Mabel without even knowing how the unicorns affected her, thinking she’ll be fine alone because her “magnetic personality” ranges beyond his weirdness magnetism.

Above all, Ford shows uncommon agape toward anomalies and all mankind. Even after their falling-out, Fiddleford affirms that Ford only wanted to help a world so often unkind to him.

Language

Ford displays many autistic speech patterns, such as declarative statements and an odd mix of formal and colloquial speech (“not with a bang but with a… boop-boop”, “the symbols needn’t all be literal, Dipper. It just has to be someone cool in the face of danger”). We often suspend the point of sentences with context for fear of misunderstanding, sometimes creating more (“when fighting a Gremloblin, use water”, anyone?) Ford shares our related tendency to get overly precise, second-guessing the correctness of everything he says (“or you could just roll an eight”, “floppy disks, and 8-tracks… right?”, “sometimes the strangest things in the world are right under our noses… and our feet, in this particular instance”). In the last example, Ford mixes his metaphor by understanding it better literally.

Ford has a sense of humor familiar to many autistic people, which includes indulging humor to himself (in the journals) instead of strictly sharing it. He shares our penchant for puns (“he’s gourd-geous!”, “one giant headache!”) and double meanings (“someone cool”, “the most peculiar dream”). Ford characteristically makes deadpan remarks (“just going to ignore that”, “so this is an emergency”, “I did mention that the fate of the universe is at stake, didn’t I?”, “NLOO PH SOHDVH”) but draws the line at mockery (“he doesn’t make fun of me all the time the way you and Grunkle Stan do”) - many of us concur, for hyperempathy or knowing how it feels.

He also invents his own secret languages… nuff said.

Infodumping

Does a whole book of exposition count? “Lost prehistoric life forms!” and “Mesoamerican gold!” and “Pirate ghosts!” are the words of a child with no filter about sharing everything interesting he’s read, and the journals are punctuated with equal enthusiasm. Then there’s his “cutting-edge programs and multi-dimensional paradigm theory!” ramble, DD&MD and magnet gun facts, and hostile takeover of Stan’s role as exposition fairy; Mabel’s unicorn hair quest only happens because Ford goes on a tangent about it.

Infodumping is also the only sensible explanation for why Ford mentions the barrier equation. Besides self-endangerment. Bill got under Ford’s skin not by promising power, but regression to a friendship where he felt safe sharing what he loved.

Literal/logical thinking

Ford emphatically takes things at face value. He feels compelled to defensively answer absurd questions like “Is there an owl in this bag?” and “The world’s most confusing game of hopscotch?” Ford is earnest to a fault, walking into Stan’s conversational traps by nerding out about what he loves; like many autistic people, he instinctively says what he means and assumes everyone else works the same way. This makes him terrible at subterfuge: barely tricking the agents under amnesia, blurting out acknowledgment of the kids and barrier equation to Bill, and delivering a stilted “don’t do it, Ford, it’ll destroy the universe!” as “Stan” (who plays him much more convincingly after 30 years’ practice). Correcting Stan’s grammar to get back at him, Ford cannot tolerate incorrectness in language or behavior.

Logical thinking leads Ford to black-and-white views of people and situations - most self-destructively, “TRUST NO ONE”. He assumes malice due to difficulty factoring in others’ emotions or miscommunication. “You did this because you couldn’t handle me going to college on my own!″ is a logical statement based on true premises, but assumes that Stan acted rationally to sabotage Ford. Stan tactlessly making it about their sailing dream instead of apologizing only solidifies it. Growing up with someone who means well but can’t say what he means, and no frame of reference for friendship outside codependency, it’s no wonder “a being with answers” worms his way into Ford’s mind and poisons it.

If you’ve followed these autistic heuristics thus far, that brings us to…

Special interests (or, why Ford’s autistic narrative matters)

First, honorable mention to Dungeons, Dungeons, & More Dungeons: after 30 years away he drops world-saving work to play it, quotes it from memory, and shares encyclopedic knowledge (“Prime-statistical anomalies over 37 but not exceeding 51!”, “The Impossibeast! Hey, I thought they banned this character!”)

And of course, mocking its fantastical monetary system!!! is a hatecrime unto his soul. (“At least I’m not all keyed up to watch a kids’ show”, he says with no qualms enjoying “Giggle Time Bouncy Boots” and other “childish” things; the threat of infantilization is real so he projects it back.)

Now, the big one: Ford’s singular, intense interest in anomalies drives the development of his career, art, and very identity.

“As if his abnormally high IQ wasn’t enough, he also had a rare birth defect: six fingers on each hand. Which might have explained his obsession with sci-fi mystery weirdness.” I have argued that Ford’s ostracism cannot solely explain his patterns of abnormal behavior; now I propose that Ford’s autism and polydactyly are twin anomalies defining his central arc of alienation and belonging. Both constitute an experience unrelatable beyond reference to his peers, beyond words except those he’s internalized as their self-narrating zoo exhibit: “I am a freak.” But when Ford’s mirroring of Stan breaks down, when he accepts he can’t be normal and embraces it, finding a place “where weirdos like me fit in” lights up his eyes and world.

His light only falters knowing that indeed, “his abnormally high IQ wasn’t enough” for most of the world. Like many autistic people, Ford is labeled “gifted”: a state where his passion becomes “our ticket out of this dump”, “I worked so hard!” a basis for worth. “In a place like that, I had to work twice as hard” hits different for all of us who’ve had to be the perfect savant to justify our existence. We get to thinking that we have to save the world, that if people mistreat us it’s because we didn’t perform enough exceptionalism to deserve better. But if someone is dedicated to dehumanizing you, trying to prove them wrong means absorbing the idea they could be right.

It’s in this state that Ford absorbs Bill and vice versa. Bill repeats what everyone says about Ford’s intelligence, but without making him “earn” it until enough frog-boiling that “smart guy” or “IQ” become his identity - for Bill to give as easily as take away. Bill exploits Ford’s need for companionship he shouldn’t have to “earn”, then insidiously reinforces the idea he does. And Bill betrays Ford, Bill abuses Ford, Bill others Ford through the interests he pretended to support, Bill causes Ford to trust no one because Ford can see him in everyone. Autistic people know this demon well, whether it’s a person or our internalizing voice or both, but it’s as inexplicable to the allistic world as the quiet violence we endure every day - voiceless yet present as the journal’s disappearing ink.

Ford’s consuming need for people to be what they seem and say what they mean culminates in the dramatic irony that he doesn’t hear Stan (never what he seems) say “I didn’t mean it!” Instead he only hears “it”, one of the worst things an autistic person can hear: he’s not the brother Stan wanted him to be and his “dumb mysteries” -his identity- prevent him from loving his family correctly. For him and so many of us, these are the last words before abjection into nothing.

…until they aren’t. Until Ford returns, driven underground but emerging when Dipper shares his light. Until the dramatic irony that Ford blaming himself for Bill’s abuse and lamenting how “easy” it was absolves him to both characters and audience, who see it for the injustice it is. Until his abuser’s final threat is to violate his mind and weirdness magnetism with it (sound familiar?) and Ford heroically guards both. Until Ford and Stan can finally step into each other’s shoes, finally validate unacknowledged experiences of abuse. That’s when Ford regains trust - when Stan’s actions speak louder than words (from him or his dark mirror, Bill) and Ford finally hears he’s worthy of love without having to give any part of himself in return.

Most importantly: Ford only embraces his special interest, only advocates acceptance of his difference with more dignity as he asks Stan for a second chance they both know he deserves. Ford doesn’t have to change who he is and the narrative rewards him for it. He doesn’t have to be “grateful” as if his life’s worth is a debt; any notion that he “owes” his gifts to anyone burns with the journals. He doesn’t have to fight back even when it seems impossible and do those things the world said he never could (but damn he delivers anyway). He only has to realize he can’t and doesn’t have to expect perfection from anyone, most of all himself, to find belonging.

The Mystery in the Mystery Shack is not a puzzle to be solved. He’s a complexity of infinite sides and infinite outcomes. This reading of his story matters because we matter; his narrative speaks to an unspoken desperation and self-actualization we know ineffably. Like any marginalized group, autistic people deserve better than abjection or exploitation or conditional acceptance based on “respectability” or what we can do for others. We deserve to reclaim the stories where we see the patterns of our lives - whether in the text’s words or 3k of our own. Until the rest of the world does its part in changing for us, we’ll carve out our own belonging wherever weirdness magnetism draws us; we’ll find our own Gravity Falls.