my favorite genre of of villain is man who lost his wife and became evil about it immediately. like that’s a sensible response to me idk
Imagine when they animate THIS
You, every night.
I am a writer.
I swear.
I promise myself: I am a writer!
But my words are stuck.
I don’t think in monologue.
I think in abstract ideas without real words.
I think in colours.
Synesthesia and neurodivergence on paper hints at delicately built structures supporting the colours that move like swirling, shimmering mist inside my brain.
No.
Never have I just one isolated, traceable thought — against my will, every one flutters by on erratic wings, overwhelmed by so many others. Could you keep your eye trained on a single monarch butterfly in a migrating swarm?
My thoughts are strobe lights — echoing, pounding, deep vibrations that reverberate off the walls of my skull in primary colours.
They float like soft, hazy clouds that wistfully blur the sky with creamy lavender, glittering magenta, electric peach, and yearning forget-me-not blue. So full of stories, beckoning me to tell them. My earnest hand strains its tendons, returning with nothing to show for the desperation with which I extended my reach.
They pool at the top of a dark room, iron shades of smoke billowing out of my ears, daring me to latch onto them with a foolish grip. The cloud mocks me from above, choking me with my own sheer volume of intangibility.
I know so badly what I want to say. What I need to say. What I have to say or else I might die.
But none of the words to say it.
My thoughts are a glossy, sticky honey — a glistening liquid with flecks of sunlight, flowing leisurely towards the small opening of its glass container. They are an infuriating, sluggish tar — a languid sludge rolling across the backroads carved into my brain.
Syrup or grease, they ooze with unrivalled lethargy, clogging the channels in which they travel before ever becoming.
But I am a writer, I promise myself.
I am.
I swear.
———————
lightbluefog
toge inumaki #brbchasingdreams
prints | tutorials
This post isn't staying up for very long but I need to put this out in the ether. Because when it's outside of my brain, the universe is forced to know of my suffering.
My period cramps...
ARE GOING TO KILL ME ONE DAY I STFG.
MY BODY IS WREAKING HAVOC AND CALAMITY ON ITSELF. I AM THE HOLLOW SHELL OF A ONCE BRILLIANT STAR. THE DECAYED REMAINS OF A SUN THAT, MILLENNIA PAST, DIED A GLOURIOUS DEATH IN SUCH A VIOLENT BURST OF LIGHT THAT IT TOUCHED THE VERY EDGE OF THE CLOTH THAT IS TIME AND SPACE, DESTROYING EVERYTHING IN ITS WAKE.
EVERY MONTH.
anyway. that was dramatic. and nothing to do with my blog at all. but there you have it.
someone asked gege what is female gaze and as an answer he created geto suguru
fushiguro toji choosing megumi's name in the hopes that his child would be born a baby girl who would never draw the attentions of the zen'in clan and could remain his blessing forever -> fushiguro megumi over a decade later thinking to himself "my fuckass dad picking this name for me without even waiting to see if i'd be born a boy i hate his stupid deadbeat ass"
Happy Birthday to me! :)
you can call me blue24(icon: 遊屋ゆと on picrew.me! https://picrew.me/en/image_maker/19569)!!NOT A SPOILER-FREE BLOG!!
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