Still Cooking...

Togachako week day 3:

blood 💕🌸✨

blood 🫀🌹☠️

I just couldn't choose one version and there's another alternative one under the cut

I continue to post slightly old art...😅

I'm rewatching Hannibal and an AU came to me… unexpectedly.

(Togachako) Hero x Serial killer!AU (feat. pro hero!Deku and Dynamight) ~☆

tw: bad English, lots of rambling, toxic relationship, we're not romanticizing tgck so proceed with caution (and after reading the disclaimer, please), any tw you can associate with Himiko Toga is here (nothing graphic though), overanalysing stuff, amateur psychology and all, dark content in general

Ochako has been unsure what she wants to do after finally starting her hero career, so she basically tries anything she can reach.

Working in the sea with Tsu, galas and interviews with Yaomomo, traveling with Deku (I feel he'd want to spend the rest of his power to see the world and his lots and lots of friends overseas). This time she finds herself getting into the world of quirk-related investigations under the tutelage of Katsuki whose solved criminal case count rapidly approaches the one of Endeavor (his character arc calls to me to be continued after Endeavor's path, please don't pay attention haha).

And with all that, she still tries to save face, knowing that she could've stopped this particular deranged story with just a word.

Why? Well, maybe she knows that no person in the world can leave DNA of people long dead and flaunt bloody confessions on the walls at the same time. No person who's not Himiko Toga.

The traps are set, the cycle starts its turn…

The very start:

° Himiko has genuine fun taunting Ochako with killing civilians while wearing her face

° She thinks she'll give Ochako the "freedom of expressing love" in a way she assumes Ochako wants but can't afford

° Himiko doesn't hide the fact she kills for Ochako and with Ochako's name on her lips

° Himiko torments her victims being transformed into whoever strikes her fancy, but the final strike is always performed so the last thing the poor prey sees is soulful, most gorgeous brown eyes in the world

° Himiko steals blood from the organization Ochako donors for (it's her way of coping with the trauma left by the Final Battle)

° Knowing the traces of her DNA are left at the crime scene even if she certainly didn't leave them there slowly corrodes Ochako's mental defenses

° She starts dreaming and hallucinating about killing those people herself until she can't tell reality from these images

° At one point she sees herself killing people wearing Himiko's face

° Himiko certainly uses it to her advantage. Who'd know when she gets into Ochako's apartment to whisper about all the ways she torments people from the shadowed corners?

° Guilt-tripping Ochako into justifying her actions too

As the madness progresses:

° Ochako can't draw the line between herself and Himiko anymore

° They complete each other in no way that is socially acceptable, but it feels right

° Ochako still tries to convince herself she's a good person and now this applies to Himiko as well because Himiko is "her" now too

° It's like they're drowning and melting into each other, minds a mingled mess of issues and fears, clinging, warping, breaking...

° Ochako's hands are bloody and Himiko hugs her from behind, cooing sweet nothings into her ear as they stare down at the newest "masterpiece" together

° Clay, warm hands and shaking fingers

° Ochako feels phantom touches on her skin all the time

° Himiko is being all giddy and "affectionate" with her victims, calling them "cute little presents" which she leaves for Ochako

The final stages:

° Ochako has a dream of killing Izuku. She fantasizes about it a lot later. There are tons of guilt and self-loathing, but she feels it would be the right thing to do. Become a way to "thank" Himiko by showing her effort isn't one-sided. She somehow knows it'd end the vicious cycle, but she just can't

° The Devil and Stockholm Syndrome (it's kinda questionable, I know, so we're taking it with a grain of salt)

° Dissociation

° Devil's advocate

° Cases named after astronomical phenomena

° Christmas, and Ochaco finds a bunch of vials filled with blood, all wrapped in a pretty thick red ribbon with a pompous bow on top. It's the legacy they've created together

Note:

I don't see the two as a healthy romantic relationship (I don't say you can't, it's just my opinion), so this scenario is relatively close to what I'd call realistic. Ochako who sees herself as a good person in any case (even if she's just too selfish to confront herself deep inside) and Himiko who takes the role of the bad part where Ochako can't.

Psychobabble (I'm no professional, it's more about how I feel than anything):

I based this whole AU on the traits I found in original manga and just extrapolated/exaggerated them into whatever this is now

Ochako loses feeling of what differs saving others and saving oneself and chooses to save "herself" (aka Himiko) in the end

Ochako is outright childish. She can't let the mask of a "hero" slip only because it's her shield against the world. She's torn apart by the ideas society put in her head, she can't imagine the concepts of "protect the weak" and "everyone is valid" existing together

In the end, she just resorts to the Friend or Foe (mine/anyone else) worldview so it's easier to process. Of course, what is "hers" is always considered as right and justified

Her empathy for Himiko has gotten to the point where it starts to consume her. She projects herself, her fears and motivations on Himiko, and it only makes things worse

Although, her empathy is quite selective. She can't empathize with the families of those who are killed by Toga. She thinks she can, but it comes from the guilt brewing inside her (it's still focused on self), not actual ability to put herself in others' place

Ochako feels she can be "like Deku", that she can save and forgive "bad people" like him. She finds comfort in such thoughts and hides behind them so she doesn't need to acknowledge the drastic differences in the situations

About the character archetypes:

For Ochako I can't figure out just one, but if I name the type it'd be "Not Bad But Confused" probably. Issues come from the fact her personality is too adaptive, and her worldview has shifted severely and continues to do so. In this situation, her way of coping happened to be finding an anchor in the wrong person, it happens to people all the time in real life too after all

Himiko shows as a symbolic "Devil", her presence is more phantom/ephemeral. Yes, she poisons Ochako's thoughts greatly, but the most work is done by Ochako and her own insecurities

Deku is similar to her, more of a symbol than a character. He's needed more as a deity-like/almost religious presence. Kinda ironic that his original character is heavily under the Hero Myth's (not sure how it's called in English, sorry) influence which is connected to the Bible in some ways

Katsuki stands out a bit as he's clearly the "workaholic cop" (workaholic hero in our case), no more than that as per his role. He's here so Ochako can value herself as "above his way of thinking". Side by side she clearly comes out as more "understanding" and sympathetic (NOT EMPATHETIC, don't confuse the terms!). Well, he's the person to bring her back to earth. A stoic one without a prominent character arc (it's often considered bad, but a flat arc can also be fine when handled properly)

Dividers are created by me.

If you're willing to take this AU under your wing or do something inspired by it, please credit me (you can tag me too)

my lovelies @dailytogachako @bigclownshoes @luxkycharmz you asked me to tag you, I hope I didn't forget anyone...

My first vs latest attempt in drawing Himiko's face

Someone said that drawing one character for long results in more of your headcanons reflecting in the way you do it and I can't agree more haha

She looks more and more like my oc with each art (still scrunkly though, I like it)

Been doing more art for my girl and planning some cool stuff to analyze too I never want my hyperfixation to end (´ω`)

I know you're mourning people but I just can't haha

I was drawing Himiko stabbed 8 times in the back like yesterday in the evening

And now seeing how she's handled in the manga

HAHA I PREDICTED THIS SHIT ✨SYMBOLICALLY✨

IT'S SO FUCKING FUNNY

Yknow I've been awfully busy but I have an izuku midoriya art idea I wanna draw

And while searching for references my only thought was

Dam he's so pretty handsome gorgeous omg

I think we've got a new deku fan chat

HAHA you seem to like it yay

LMAO we know the precious lady's diet now (it sounds peculiar but fun as hell)

✨the power of photosynthesis ✨

(I'm scared of spiders too dw, my journey in search of references was a risky trick but I made it) and yeah the spider legs were intentional hehe (the other 4 ones were so tiny they're barely noticeable tho 🤧 I took inspiration from flower spiders and their back legs are tiny indeed)

And yeah if I remember correctly in Noragami the reincarnation of kami is a bit different but still

(this part from fan wiki kinda reminded me of it)

Headcanons for living headcanons for living...

(If the author comes up with headcanons do they become canons hmmm)

And np it was my pleasure really she's a lovely one (she? they? ahem-)

And yeah feel free to use it I'd be very honored tbh 🤭🤭

@lily-claw Told you I love the spider lily lady

I studied her

A lil bit

So here's the sketches

Now a bit of explainations on the text there. I just tried to imagine like she's kinda flower inspired, so why I don't give her kinda petal-like lashes??? (Gives me a bit of Furina vibes)

And you mentioned that she can reincarnate and stuff and I suddenly remember Noragami (the system is kinda similar but as I got it yours works without memory loss??) baby Jusa is just too adorable 🤧🤧🤧

And yeah I had a hard time figuring out how her hair works, but here we are I beat it into shape 😈😈😈

And your lore and the tons of reference pics you offered helped. so. much

This was giving me thoughts, and I remembered some special thing about handwriting culture in Japan, so I'll share

Source: “CUTE STUDIES”. KAWAII (“CUTENESS”) – A NEW RESEARCH FIELD by OANA-MARIA BÎRLEA from Babeș-Bolyai University

The text is about development of kawaii culture in 1970s (and I think this suits Himiko so much...)

Kawaii promotes the appreciation of small, stylized objects and of childish or atypical looking characters considered vulnerable for various reasons (size, looks, attitude, etc.).

This culture spread rapidly among students (especially female students), who started to express their feelings through a nonconformist writing style, considered more modern and closer to the Western world: maru ji (rounded letters), koneko ji (“kitten writing”), manga ji (“comic writing”), burikko ji (“imitation of children’s writing”).

The "soft rebellion" of young people implied “sabotaging” the traditional way of writing by adding small, cute symbols to induce positive feelings and combat alienation.

So basically, Himiko's writing in Japanese could look like this (an example of maru ji handwriting style):

(As I understand, the rough translation is – "This is very cute!", the picture is from Wikipedia)

Okay, but I think Himiko has very beautiful handwriting. She would write in cursive very cute and Ochako doesn't have a ugly handwriting but she doesn't write in cursive. I think she would write as legibly as possible

MA QUEEN?????? SO GORGEOUS SO GORGEOUS SO GORGEOUS SO GORGEOUS SO GORGEOUS SO GORGEOUS SO GORGEOUS SO GORGEOUS SO GORGEOUS SO GORGEOUS SO- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

The teeth? OMG THE TEETH omg omg

And the expressions look at the expressions they're so adorable and so good and THE FCKIN RENDERING IS SO GOOD????

And these vibrant eyes they're so bright and lively and soulful and

💍💍💍

Marry me

a thank you gift for 50 followers :3

Drawing and painting Jusaka's hair is a pain in the ass lmao though i still had fun :3

Wanted to try to draw her on ibispaint too but... Well...

I guess im still not used to draw there on tablet... haha...

@marronje :3

in another life