Ok I’m having thoughts about the Uther / Arthur dynamic…
I think that Arthur was entirely raised by wet nurses / nannies / etc because Uther’s negative feelings were too strong.
I think for most of Arthur’s youth, Uther resented, regretted, and somehow blamed Arthur for the loss of Ygraine. And I think Uther essentially avoided his own son as much as he could get away with.
I think he got so desperate for an heir (and of course the problem couldn’t be with him, it had to be Ygraine’s reproductive system that was faulty), that he didn’t do his research, or didn’t listen to warnings, or somehow believed himself above the potential consequences.
I bet he knew that a life would be taken, but he assumed it would be some peasant of Camelot, maybe a knight, maybe one of his lords, but thought he and his family would be immune and would obviously be spared. Because, y’know, he’s the king of Camelot.
And I think he blamed Arthur for some messed up reason (I mean, ok, grief does weird things to people).
And I think every time he realised Arthur isn’t a carbon copy of him, isn’t the perfect heir (impossibly strong, talented, and stoic) he resents him and regrets that he traded the love of his life for “this disappointment”. Surely magic should have given him the absolute perfect heir? And person so amazing they’re beyond all human comprehension, right? Like Hercules, or Achilles.
Also, the way Uther loses his godamn mind when Morgana is dying in S3, the way he waxes lyrical about how important she is to him, how he can’t live without her… yet Arthur has been dying twice by this point and Uther gets no where near as upset. In fact, he sits with his dying son once, admits that his death is inevitable, then goes about his day without a second glance…
And because of the way his father couldn’t even spare him a glance, let alone a hug, or comfort, or an “I love you, I’m proud of you”, I don’t think Arthur knows what affection really is. I don’t think he truly understands how love feels.
I think that’s why he was so off-balance when he went to save Ealdor with Merlin and saw the way he and his mother interacted. It threw everything he’d ever known into doubt.
Maybe he thought that kind of love, affection, and physical comfort is for poor people, because that’s what his experience told him.
And maybe it made Arthur think - “what if my mother had survived? What if my father’s life had been taken instead?”
And what if Ygraine had lived and Uther had died? I mean, the spell gave Uther an heir to take over when he died, and he got what he wanted, right? So if Uther dies right away… well, you’ve got your heir you wanted, he’ll take your place like he’s supposed to!
Arthur has lived his whole life feeling like he wasn’t wanted - that’s what all the evidence told him. Then he finds out he’s “the reason” his mother is dead and his father is a heartless, emotionless, bitter man?
Holy shinsplints Arthur. No wonder he couldn’t accept the affection Merlin and Guinevere clearly had for him. Maybe that’s why he kept freaking out and throwing it back in their faces, getting angry, pushing them away.
He was scared because he had absolutely no idea how to react to it - no blueprint, no examples, no evidence that his own upbringing and his father’s mentality isn’t normal.
But my god did he try and give out all the love he had stored in his heart, all the love that was wasted on his father and was never reciprocated. My god did he try.
Bless you, Arthur. My heart aches so damn hard for you.
Merlin: Freya is banned from the local tavern so we had to go to the next town over.
Freya: They shouldn't call it "all you can eat" if they don't mean it.
Merlin: Cariad, you ate a barkeep.
Got to meet a pregnant black cat yesterday, never loved a cat immediately more in my life
redrawing another screenshot because it's good practice and because I'm a merthur whore let's be honest
I need this in my life at a reasonable time of day
last updated: 21 Sept 2024
vintagelilacs
arranged marriage au, pt 2, pt 3
college/university au
different first meeting au
hanahaki au, pt 2, pt 3
high school au, pt 2
hogwarts au
modern au, pt 2
modern with magic au, pt 2
modern royalty au, pt 2, pt 3, pt 4, pt 5, pt 6, pt 7, pt 8
pride and prejudice au
regency au
social media au, pt 2
soulmate au, pt 2, pt 3, pt 4, pt 5, pt 6, pt 7, pt 8, pt 9, pt 10
s2e10 fix it
wing fic
actor!arthur, pt 2, pt 3, pt 4, pt 5
bond girl!arthur
detective!arthur
himbo!arthur
jealous!arthur, pt 2, pt 3, pt 4, pt 5, pt 6, pt 7, pt 8
pining!arthur, pt 2, pt 3, pt 4, pt 5, pt 6, pt 7, pt 8, pt 9
pregnant!arthur
protective!arthur, pt 2, pt 3, pt 4, pt 5, pt 6, pt 7
oblivious!arthur, pt 2, pt 3
spy!arthur
virgin!arthur
assistant!merlin
bamf!merlin
consort!merlin, pt 2, pt 3
detective!merlin
druid leader!merlin
enchanted!merlin
exhausted!merlin, pt 2
flustered!merlin
hurt!merlin, pt 2, pt 3, pt 4
irish!merlin
jealous!merlin
knight!merlin
oblivious!merlin, pt 2, pt 3, pt 4, pt 5, pt 6
pining!merlin, pt 2, pt 3, pt 4, pt 5
royal!merlin, pt 2
selkie!merlin
spy!merlin
virgin!merlin
00q fusion
5 + 1 things, pt 2, pt 3
accidental marriage
amnesia
angst with a happy ending
arthur courts merlin
arthur finds out about balinor
arthur finds out about freya
arthur knows about merlin’s magic
arthur loves merlin’s magic eyes
arthur’s donkey ears
arthur returns, pt 2
balinor lives
bathing
bed sharing, pt 2
bedside vigils
bets
comfort fics
coming out
crack, pt 2, pt 3, pt 4
dragon dads
drunkenness
enemies to lovers
fake/pretend relationship, pt 2, pt 3, pt 4, pt 5
fandom iconic fics
fav aus
fav fics
figure skating
flowers, pt 2
fluff
forced proximity, pt 2
fuck or die
getting back together
getting together, pt 2, pt 3
getting together with the help of technology
hurt comfort
hurt no comfort, pt 2
hypothermia
kid fics, pt 2
kinktober
love spells and potions, pt 2, pt 3, pt 4
lovers to enemies
magical exhaustion
magic reveal, pt 2, pt 3, pt 4, pt 5, pt 6, pt 7, pt 8, pt 9, pt 10
married/engaged merthur
meddling knights, pt 2, pt 3
merlin dies
merlin goes insane to get arthur back
merlin knows about arthur’s pining
merlin leaves camelot
merlin sleeping in weird places
merlin teaches arthur about sex/kissing
morgana and merlin friendship
not actually unrequited love
ot4
outsider pov
parties
protective!knights
remixes
role reversal
royal balls
scar reveal
secret relationship, pt 2
theatre/drama
time travel
truth potion
underappreciated fics
weddings
wedding stopping
wound cleaning
imagine this between Merlin and immortal Leon
"How long have you known he was alive?"
"The whole time."
"How could you not tell me?"
then you never really knew me at all
Snacks 4 life
Chishiya eating all dem snacks while everyone else be killing each other in prison...
I like plants and gay stuff, and merlin is very gay
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