The Fanfic Writing Community Really Isn't A Nice Place To Be Anymore. Among Other Problems One Thing

Two of my OC's preparing for a date

Eli had been anticipating the date all week. Keith had asked him out six days ago exactly, and tonight was the night. Eli had been trying for hours to find the right outfit. He currently wore a band t-shirt, and jeans he had gotten on a trip to the mall a few weeks ago. Eli was standing in front of the mirror, judging the look. The jeans made his ass look fantastic, plump and juicy, perfect. The shirt though, Eli frowned. It made him look like a twelve year old boy. Eli slipped out of the shirt and glanced at the mirror again. He blushed bright red. There were hickeys trailing all the way down to his belly button. Keith had made them, the day he asked Eli out on a date. Keith had gently slipped on Eli’s shirt, holding Eli’s face in his hands and kissed him until he was breathless. Keith trailed kisses down his neck, sucking the skin and invoking delicate and hesitant sounds out of Eli. They hadn’t gotten far, and then Keith asked him out on a date, “To do this properly,” he said.

My idea of flirting exactly

im not saying i have a crush on you BUT i really want to pet your hair. please can i pet your hair. it looks very soft. please sir.

@homunculus-argument

Random cook (looking at a massive spread of sweets): why did we make this again?

Head cook: Arthur is gay for his manservant

Merthur in fanfics

Merlin, about Arthur: We will have to add another hole in that belt.

Arthur: Are you saying i’m getting fat?!?

Merlin: If you keep eating like this, yes.

———

Arthur, about Merlin: We will have to add another hole in that belt.

Merlin: Are you saying i’m getting fat?!?

Arthur: No, you are getting thinner by the minute!!

Merlin:

Arthur: Did you eat anything today at all??

Merlin:

Arthur: Do I have to force-feed you??

Merlin: *running away*

Arthur: Come back here!! Stop excercising!! Eat something!!

Got to meet a pregnant black cat yesterday, never loved a cat immediately more in my life

my favorite cheshire cat

Arthur: You make me angry so quickly. It's remarkable.

Merlin: I literally just said 6 words.

Arthur: Yet, here I am, boiling with rage.

Merlin: Freya is banned from the local tavern so we had to go to the next town over.

Freya: They shouldn't call it "all you can eat" if they don't mean it.

Merlin: Cariad, you ate a barkeep.

time traveling au inspired by this post by @mountmortar

feat. confused af arthur and tired at life merlin

more of this au

All of the knights: Can you come collect your freak of a man please. He’s doing things.

Arthur: No I set him loose on purpose.