Silly Little Things..

Too pretty 🙆💁

The finishing touch on being #GRAMMYs ready? A pop of color, fabulous makeup and a fun, feisty attitude. Good luck, COVERGIRL @katyperry!

A year in life...

Oh it’s been so very long since I last wrote. I needed time. I needed to experience my first year “out there” so that I could really write. Write about everything and I’ll make sure not to leave anything out. 

A year ago, my last blog, was about my family’s dismissive behaviour towards the love of my life. A year ago, my dad was the only one left in the dark about this because I was looking for the perfect timing. I knew the outcome. I knew it a year ago and at last after a year, I was only proven right. Ultimatum set by him, choose the family he says and leave him. Choose him and leave the family. So which is it going to be? I have thought about it, many many many times only to go around in circles. Why cant I have both? Why is it so easy for my father to give me such an ultimatum and why can he not consider or take into account anyone but himself? Enough with the questions though, perhaps I have the answers, yet deep down I do not want them to be true therefore suppress the truth. Because everyone knows, the truth hurts. So much that at this moment of time I have decided to play along as a happy family because for now, the hurting can temporarily be postponed. And even if it is for a short while, I rather be happy with the family before I make them aware of my decision. 

The decision of my life so to speak. Its all set, I have done so much thinking in between changing jobs and working full time, and welcoming my beautiful niece to this world as well as keeping my parents happy and him happy. I have been flooded with so many emotions that really, I did not even have to even decide myself but life decided for me. And maybe that is the best of ways. I know from here onward I can count on him, fall back on him, love him and be with him. We have chosen each other through all that we’ve had to go through and still have to go through, we have always chosen us. And that is what made this decision so easy ( well i keep referring it to decision, but really its a choice).

So here it is for a shortened version of my year, I promise I will write more and more often again. I nearly forgot how good it feels to just write and lets the words write themselves. 

Have a good summer!

xoxo

Our culture has accepted two huge lies. The first is that if you disagree with someone’s lifestyle, you must fear or hate them. The second is that to love someone means you agree with everything they believe or do. Both are nonsense. You don’t have to compromise convictions to be compassionate.

Rick Warren (via staypozitive)

Hello again.

It has been a while since I have blogged and ranted and vented my emotions, feelings and thoughts. Although not much has changed, a lot still has changed. 

To believe I would graduate after three years without any problems or bumps along the road was very naive of me. Reaching the end of my third year of uni only to find out I have to resit an exam, resulting in me not graduating with my friends has shattered me. I have not much to say about that apart from how disappointed I am at myself. However, this has also shown a lot about the people I thought I had surrounded myself with. The people I thought that would always be there for me, proven to be very wrong indeed. I have met some amazing friends along the way and it has taken me 3 years to realise how shit I am at making and choosing friends. I had not learned how to do this up until the end of my third year of uni. I don’t regret anything. In fact I am glad a lot of things happened the way they did, otherwise I wouldn’t have met the love of my life and I wouldn’t have met the most amazing friends in these last couple of months. It is very cliche indeed but life sometimes has to be full of cliches and cheese for you to realise how good life can be. 

I have been through a lot and many people do not know that about me. The family I thought would stand by me in difficult times could not be part of my difficult times because of their narrow mindedness and shallow mindedness and their greed and love for reputation. I have always and will always adore my parents but they have let me down so much lately, sometimes even to the point of not being able to come back from it. I have endured a lot of wounds and suffered a lot through the words that had been chucked at me by my sisters and parents but it has only made me realise.... 

You find your soulmate, your love, your life, in that one person, and everything else does not matter anymore. Every heartbreak, every let down, every pain, all can be forgotten with just one moment with that one person. That one person I can call at any time of the day and he will always stand by me. And that is what I have realised... you lose a lot of people, you fall out, you stop calling your home “home” but you gain that one person, who you want to spend the rest of your life with. He or She will become your home, your shelter, your life and I can honestly say, I have never felt so safe in my life before as I do now with him by my side. I’m proud to be his. 

Its the time where you have to think about what you really want! Do you want to live to please others? Go out there and find your soulmate, find your love, find your life and live it. To the fullest. Everyone deserves a better life, only a few know how to make their life a better life. You will get there. In time. 

xoxo

Cling to me

It wasn't until today that I realised I need to BACK OFF. So addicted to tiny little big things in life that may be my way of coping with life?! NO GOOD. I have surrounded myself with the most amazing human beings and it's time to let go of the others and the objectives that cling me to some.. ( never wise to keep old things) don't do it!! My boyfriend clearly seems to hate it when I joke around being too clingy.. I say joking.. Muhahaha! Well the weekend is coming which means fortunately for him I'll be gone! Thank god. Need a time out! Always necessary even if you're in the bestest relationship ever. Just a little summary of my day basically. I also have bought a new wifi printer which is soo complicated... I will be basically printing things 24/7 after I figure out how to work it! Okay lovelies! Until then! Xoxo

∞ Are You Satisfied? ∞

I love myself.

Don't EVER let anyone tell you that you're not good enough.. Too fat, too skinny, too ugly, too stupid, a know-it-all, a freak, weird the list goes on and never ends!! Everything about you is beautiful and you are the only one who can change you! Stay happy, be who you are and enjoy life! Thought of the day... Because nobody is and ever will be perfect :)

The Tory Burch Ella bag is a nice big tote to carry everything under the sun.

The fresh start of a new beginning

There is only that much a girl like me can keep to herself. 19 year old university student with a huge family can sometimes mean ALOT of secrets, backstabbing, tears, happiness and gossip. Entering my 20s soon and starting my second years of study I found a new way to let my inner self speak out! I have no idea how I am going to start sharing everything or where to start.So many things going on in my life (which yes I know is happening in everyone's life not just mine) and I have so little ways to just let loose. Hopefully you guys enjoy my posts and blogs and maybe relate to it a little bit! 

Going through a bad phase..

I've had a very bad couple of months. I found out I failed a module and couldn't graduate along with my friends and had to resit the exam so I'm doing this waiting game of finding out my results.. With that being said, that isn't as bad as being so far away from my love. It's tough. Growing up in a Muslim family from Iraq and being kurdish, I have just realised how much that impacts on my life. My parents are nothing but narrow-minded shallow human beings who are in the way of their daughters happiness. My mother has recently told me she will abandon me as a daughter if I carry on seeing my boyfriend who is Portuguese and not kurdish. Only because it doesn't look good for my family's reputation. I know for a fact that I'm not the only one who is affected by parents and families like this and it is heartbreaking that us girls who grow up in such an environment cannot stand up for ourselves without being shunned and forced into a marriage we are not happy with. Girls like me and around the world need to find each other and support each other for the happiness we believe in. It's hard as it is.. why go through with it on your own? We should be sharing each others experiences and help and support one another without feeling embarrassed or without competing. Kurdish Society has taught nothing but hatred to others if one is better than you. It is absolutely disgraceful and I refuse to be part of a society with such way of thinking. I have a lot to say about this and I shall blog my heart out about this matter until it is recognised and seen by everyone. I will not give up for what I think is right. Xoxo