JK Rowling Really Named That Dude Xenophilius Lovegood.

Hello! I've been batting around an idea for a warlock of the undead whose patron is an eldritch Far Realm entity, but haven't been able to find much in the way of official lore for the plane. I would love to hear your take on the subject, if you had any ideas for the landscape and inhabitants and such!

Planescape: The Far Dead Realm(s)

So for those not in the know, the far realm is the d&d cosmology's designated corner for lovecraftian shenanigans, being the default origin of most aberrations as well as anything particularly "madness" related or stuff too weird to fit into the morality based system of planes.

I'm not a big fan of the far ream ( insert joke about me being too weird to fit into the morality based system of planes) because it makes the entry level cosmic-horror fan mistake of conflating tentacles with the unfathomable and paints things beyond human perception as innately hostile and entropic.

To me, the astral sea is the place where all that far-realm weirdness should live, being that its the place where thoughts become physical heedless of any physical constraint. There’d naturally be alien environments that were hostile to life native to the material plane, either in that they were unsuited to conventional biology, or operated on a different set of physics/math/coherence to more traditional reality. That said, it does serve our storymaking to have a bad place from whence things can come from/be banished to, so for that end I'll let you in on my own version of the unknowable plane: The Dead Realms

TLDR: The dead realms are a cosmic junk heap, myriad realities that have become unstable or suffered through an irreparable apocalypse and have inturn scoured or abandoned of mortal life and the gods that oversee them. Seeking to avoid further disruption of the cosmos, the great entities which govern the astral sea quarantine the dead realms in their own fold of space. Cross contamination renders the plane into a simmering cauldron of chaotic energies, as civilization plagues and reality storms crash against eachother with the tomb-prions of world eating gods as backdrop. Any breach of the realms’ containment could lead to potential doom, as anything that can survive the end of multiple worlds is likely more than capable of ending a few on its own.

Ironically, the reason that the asker can’t find lore about the far realm is that its on purpose, and that’s sorta the problem: The far realm was written to be intentionally vague, hearkening to unseen and unknowable horrors of the lovecraft mythos.  The problem with that is that as part of the greater dnd multiverse ( atleast the default one) the far realm is a place you theoretically CAN go, and given that some of the game’s biggest baddies originate there, meaning that there needs to be more about the plane than a simple gesture at it being gross and full of tentacles.

Compare the thematic weight of a party visiting the far and dead realm(s): The former is weird, surely, but other than horrifying chaos, the far realm doesn’t really say anything. On the contrary, both heroes and their players can understand the dead realms as a forewarning of what happens if they fail in their cosmic level responsibilities, and see echoes of their own desperate struggles among the ruins.

Geography:  The process of transposing multiple worlds into a single plane is not a gentle one, even more so when many of those worlds do not share an underlying model of reality. The cracked remnants of planetary bodies float together like asteroid clusters, while flat-earth geographies impose themselves on space at awkward angles like planes of glass, or weave through it like ribbons of a shredded map. Remnant kingdoms are scorched as newly arrived worlds bring their stars with them, and blighted seas spill from one celestial body to the next like wine spilled across a table from a tipped glass.

Its junk drawer architecture, a dumpster into which broken worlds are heaved with no care for their condition or where they might come to rest, slowly ruining eachother like kitchen scraps heaped upon old clothes layered over discarded furniture

Inhabitants: Despite their name the dead realms are not empty, besides the monstrous scavengers Vast wastelands conceal remnant holdouts and the decaying lairs of senile god kings. Only those great authorities of the cosmos decide when a realm is beyond saving, and those left behind on it are considered forfeit to save the greater cosmos from the horrors they endure. That said, there are other entities that live in the maelstrom, and they are far more threat to a wandering party that’ve become stranded in the forbidden realm:

Kaotori*: Once a group of arcane explorers who sought salvage and secrets from the oldest reaches of the dead realms, they were lost in the depths where time itself had begun to rot. They trickled back one by one, transmuted into resin soaked horrors and scattered across the centuries both before and after they left. Stripped of all but a few scraps of their previous identities, the remnants of their former lives knaw at them like the ache of a rotten tooth, which the Kaotori are desperate to extract. Turning their wicked power to the task, each Kaotori combs the cosmos for any trace of its former life, looking to extinguish the source of these memories that it might finally know some twisted form of peace.

Eldrazi*:Like beetles skittering over and through a fallen log until it is mulch, the aberrant broods known as the Eldrazi toil endlessly to return the material of dead worlds back into raw stuff of creation, dismantling matter, magic, and creature alike until all they touch is cosmic dust. Mostly harmless if left at a distance, Eldrazi do not distinguish intruders into their domain from unprocessed worldstuff and their domain extends ever forward so long as their is material to reclaim.

Ancient automata: The engines of forgotten ages still stir on many abandoned worlds, whether they be crystaline consiousness of superhuman intellect or the derlict mechanisms of a single tinkerer

Feral Celestials: while many angels are content to wander from task to task, there are those so dedicated to their divinely ordained mission that they choose to go “down with the ship” when the time comes to ring in the apocalypse. After their particular endtimes have come and gone, these entities slowly begin to waste away, being reduced over time to becoming avatars of strange faiths, or hunting through the wilderness little better than beasts. 

Outergods: Whether  they reign over a destroyed worlds, were imprisoned within one,  or maybe  just like the vibe, the dead realms are full of outergods, which make up the only pantheon for those desperate souls stranded in the expanse. Kronos the cannibal god reigns over lands of dust and ruin, Cezil’Tek holds entire worlds in still and silent loneliness, While Shub-Nuggurath and her brood flourish in toxic swamps and fleshy jungles, just to name a few

* You can find 3rd party stats for these creatures online,

Adventure Hooks:

After falling trough an unstable portal or getting lost fucking around with teleportation, the party find themselves stranded in the dead realms, specifically in a barren desert landscape with a half-buried city built into some wind-scarred cliffs their only landmark. Far off in the distance, amid an alien sky, they can see a massive purple-green cloud approaching, which is in fact a rogue ocean displaced from its original bed that will come crashing down on their desert world in a matter of days. With time running short and an entire city’s worth of secrets to distract them, the party must comb through the ruins for a means of returning home lest they drown along with the desert world.

Following scraps of planear lore and desperate to protect their home from an otherworldy threat, a party of spelljammers must slip past the watch of the celestial authority to salvage pieces of a planetary warding system. This system allowed another world to stave off the threat in the past, but didn't’ stop its original architects from falling prey to the whiles of an outer god and leading their world to doom from within. Now situated among the junk drifts of the dead realms, this fallen world is slowly being eaten away by eldrazi as the last zealots of the outergod look for cruel and desperate ways to stem the tide.

Monstrous aberrations comb the countryside, attacking villages, searching for something, pushing the party into cooperation with a goodnatured  wizard who was exiled from the circle of mages for his curiosity about forbidden magic.  During a moment of heroic sacrifice, the wizard inadvertantly opens a rift to the dead realms and ends up falling through, becoming lost in time and space and eventully transformed into a kaotri... the very same kaotri that has spent centuries combing through the multiverse looking for this particular kingdom. Warped irrevocably and wracked by the pangs of a now recursive present, this Kaotri now seeks to wipe its once home off the map, and just use that recently opened dead-realm portal to do it.

Art

I am a trans girl. I have been for a long time. I wish I started my transition earlier when I first realized, but better late than never. I'm on HRT for 10 weeks exactly. Almost time for my 3-month follow-up with the doctor.

I'm coming out on Tumblr now because it hurts me so much to hold it in irl. Perfect opportunities pass for me to come out to my family and friends and it hurts, but I'm not ready for social change. My body doesn't match my brain yet and I need it to at least be closer than it is now to matching in order to come out. I need to be able to look at myself in the mirror and not cringe at the sight of myself. I need to be confident because nobody else will be for me. I need to be as happy outside in public as I am in the shower playing with my hair and discovering my new body for the first time.

I think it would help if I had more trans friends, people who could guide me and help me. People who could come over and do my makeup and help me try on nice outfits that I can be proud of. People I can be comfortable being myself around. I'm never myself unless I'm alone. Even with my boyfriend I'm a little reserved though I should try not to be, he's so sweet and supportive and as a trans man knows very well what I'm going through.

I hope very much that someday soon I can wear my favourite skirts outside my home, or feel pretty when I look in the mirror, or feel like I deserve the happiness I feel when my new breasts ache.

Maybe I'll be a little more talkative on the subject now that I've made my very own first post that isn't a reblog.

Trans clue memory unlocked:

My whole 7th grade had to learn how to Swing dance. We all had opposite gendered partners to dance with, and kept the same partner as each Gym Class went by. The girls got these sweet coloured poodle print skirts to wear during the dance routines. I was jealous of them. I loved the poodle skirts. I didn't understand why I enjoyed them so much because wearing them was for girls, so they weren't for me. Clearly.

i bought paws at a con recently and i have been having fun rubbing my bf's cheeks with them. Like doing biscuits on his face. They're so soft!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*show u my pawws* do u think they're cuute

*show u my paws* do u wnna touch them

*show u my paws* do u think they're soft paws

*show u my paws* do you love and care my soft paws

trans girls open this

aww you're a good girl huh? a cute little puppy girl? yes you are! and don't let anyone tell you you're not! look at you doin your best!

you wanna bark? cmon you know you do. bark. do it now. bark for me

that's a good girl. ok listen.

you're doin great. im proud of you. you have a fierce ass bark and you're gonna make the world your bitch.

even if you don't think you're cute. you are. you're allowed to be wrong sometimes. dogs make mistakes from time to time. you're cute

get a drink. unclench your shoulders. eat something (even if it's not the healthiest thing ever)

you're loved. who wouldn't love a cute little puppy like you?

VTM character concepts that I am compelled to share as they have completely taken over my brain:

1. A fledgling who wakes up after their embrace to an “Alice in Wonderland”-style “unbirthday party” complete with some rather grizzly tea and presents. Their sire is either a Malkavian who genuinely thinks they are doing something nice, or a very twisted Toreador.

2.  A Lasombra antiquarian bookseller who takes sadistic pleasure in charging Tremere vamps OBSCENE amounts of money for rare occult tomes. 3.  A Salubri vampire who consensually feeds from those suffering from chronic pain in order to give them a little relief, unknowingly creating people addicted to the kiss in the process. 4. Nosferatu with a gorgeous voice who posts songs on social media without revealing their face. They are often asked to perform at Elysium, provoking much jealousy from the local Toreador. 5.  A Toreador dominatrix whose art form is torture. They work with the sheriff to “extract” information, and are currently searching for a fiend to teach them fleshcraft. Please feel free to use any of these as my brain continues to sprout characters without actually having chronicles to play them in lol.

My Favorite Fantasy Tropes

MONSTER TROPES!

A deadly monster with a terrifying appearance bonds with a small child with its life.

An injured hero comes upon a monster, or a hero comes upon an injured monster and they understand each other. Giant vicious-looking monsters that answer to names you would give to a pet dog.

A character rescues or spares the life of a wounded or infant monster; later th fully- healed/matured creature returns the favor.

The horrifying eldritch creature that's been stalking the heroes turns out to be benevolent and actually, trying to protect them from something deadlier.

HERO TROPES!

The hero is the secret heir to a throne. It may be that he was whisked away and hidden as a child, his parents sent them away or were killed, etc.

There's someone in power in your book who might be described as "pure evil." This can feed into the "Good vs Evil" trope listed further down this list.

The hero refuses to give into the dark magic and instead ascends to a new level of power. This may change their hair to their dream color.

The hero falls in love with a princess/prince who turns out to be working with the real Dark Lord and killed her whole family just to rule the kingdom.

SETTING TROPES!

Pseudo-medieval European setting especially in places like the British Isles, France and Germany.

A library full of secret, lost, important knowledge. The characters may have to travel to this library, or they may stumble across it for some kind of revelation.

Ancient Japan/Chinese royalty setting where clues about the mystery is given out in subtle, secretive ways. Plus, the hero can't travel outside the palace.

A fantastical world can hide in plain sight without being discovered. When the secret is unmasked by the hero, he is trust into the world. Now, there's no going back.

CHARACTER RELATIONSHIP TROPES!

The characters involved don't know they're soulmates for part of the book but feel drawn to each other.

Twisting the original dynamic between characters from legends, myths and folklore

Semi-humanoid/ multi-race characters bonding with monsters/people of other race like elves, dwarves, goblins, etc.

Enemies-to-lovers

Marriages of convenience based upon political/power dynamic leverage

The main character(s), with a ton of romantic tension, must, for some reason, share a bed.

DARK FANTASY TROPES!

Magic is eveil and often The Corruption. Blood magic, human sacrifice and forsaken children are commonplace.

Magical artifacts with bad omens/curses attached to them. They require a grievous price in order to wield.

The gods are all assholes who pass time eating prayer chips and drinking soul-booze while placing bets and trolling the helpless mortals.

Organized religion of the country is Corrupt Church or Religion of Evil. The leader is totalitarian and strange cults prevail.

The dead find staying buried a little boring and resist any and all attempts to keep them buried, short of cremation or dismemberment.

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25 City Ruins Adventure Seeds

by Robb at readytorole.com

Treasure hunters claim to hear the voices of children playing in a walled off section of the city, but can’t find a way to get in. The voices fade at night but no adults are heard calling them.

A half-ogre calling himself the Baron of the Wastes has taken up residence in the city, and is recruiting any monsters who will work with him. Those who have gotten close enough to hear say that he is looking to build an army to terrorize the countryside.

Strange, colorful lights appear over the city at night swirling and dancing in the sky. In the morning they descend atop a preserved, hard to access tower in the center of the city.

A merchant who has returned from the ruins of the city is selling treasures she has uncovered. A family who claims to be originally from there says that some of those treasures belong to their family but have no proof, and therefore are looking for those who can help.

Giant webs have quickly been cast, covering nearly the entire city in a week. As the webs begin to reach toward local forests and villages and giant spiders have been spotted, panic has erupted and a search for a way to deal with them is underway.

Orcs and trolls have been fighting over control of the ruins for months now, but recently crudely written signs have appeared asking for mercenaries to join the orcs. They claim that they just want to have a place to stay but the trolls are set on destroying the city.

A thick miasma has been emanating from city ruins, making nearby travelers sick with an unknown illness. The local magistrate wants an investigation to take place and put an end to it.

A lone skeleton wearing old, tattered finery was seen near the city, waving arms towards travelers and making strange sounds. Some say it appeared as though it was beckoning them towards the city, but none have been foolish enough to approach.

A large crystal fragment brought back from the city has recently awakened, speaking telepathically to any nearby asking for help. They are claiming to be a soul from the past, and begs those who might be willing to return with them to prevent the city’s destruction to do so.

A black dragon wyrmling has recently made its nest in the city, claiming the area for itself with the help of some kobold followers. A kobold recently came to civilization to hand over a note saying as much and warning people to stay away and pay a tithe.

Ghosts go about their business in an old tavern, not even aware that they’re dead. One lone soul is aware and asks for help finding and burying the physical remains of those inside so that they all may finally rest.

A group of ragged, nearly feral humans and elves have been sighted near the city, causing speculation about their ancestry. Some believe that they are the descendants of those who went into hiding when the city fell and that all efforts should be made to make peace with them.

Every night, glowing footprints appear leading into the city’s marketplace, where they confusingly walk in circles and are hard to follow to any determinable destination. They disappear in the sunlight and show up in a new pattern afterwards.

A giant effigy in the city that can be seen from the road is being built and expanded upon by gnolls, who flock to the city in growing numbers. People are understandably frightened by this, especially since the gnolls appear to be growing in size as the effigy grows.

The Builders Guild is looking to hire some protection in the city as they’ve been contracted to start demolishing and rebuilding parts of the city. Since they started at least one worker gets found turned to stone each day.

Last night, various spells could be seen going off around an intact tower, leading some to believe a wizard has been alive in the city this whole time. A friend of the city’s archmage holds out hope that it is him and wants to make contact with the wizard.

Every year, the villagers that live near the city gather and light candles around the city’s perimeter. They say this wards off the evil spirits and souls of the dead inside the city from coming out and attacking them, but this year the candles won’t stay lit for more than a moment.

Golems made from old debris have been stalking around the city, aggressively attacking nearby travelers by throwing more debris at them. Who made these monsters, and why protect an abandoned pile of rubble?

Buildings in the city have started collapsing, leaving some to wonder what’s going on behind the broken walls. Some brave scouts who have ventured in say that they are seeing huge holes and tunnels appearing under the city, and the buildings are falling in.

A floating castle has drifted over the city and stopped, and long rope ladders have been lowered. The heraldry on the castle and those descending the ladders is entirely unfamiliar to any who see them.

Highwaymen have been harassing travelers and have taken some hostages inside of the city. They are asking for weapons made of silver rather than gold in exchange for their safety.

A beam of red light shines down onto the city, directly onto the temple of the goddess of life. This is an unheard of occurrence, and her followers want answers.

A statue of the ruined city’s first ruler has been successfully excavated and moved to safety into a nearby town. Now, small cracks are appearing and moisture seeps out through the eyes of the statue, leading many to believe it is cursed.

Excavators claim to have uncovered a secret passage under the castle, and say they believe it was filled with treasures unaccounted for by history. However, after the first attack by undead, they would rather experienced adventurers clear it out in exchange for a cut of the treasure.

According to the local alchemist, a very rare gem is required to make the antidote to the plague that is spreading around. The last known location of one is set in the throne in the heart of the ruined city.

Lamia 5e Player Race

Artwork by QueenChikkibug and me!

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- Tuz

I said this months ago but I'll say it again: if you're transgender you HAVE TO LIVE