Damn this is good.
Gav’s Tavern Hi, I hope you like this. It is different from what I usually do. Also it was a lot of work.
Yes.
MTV ran a contest where unsigned bands could make a video and send it in to the contest. If they won, they would get signed by some label (I don't remember who) for at least the one single, which included having a more professional video done. MTV then picked the best and had the audience pick their favorite (via call in voting) in a bracket style competition. The final came down to Dog Police and some other band I don't remember. Dog Police lost in a close vote. So close that many suspected they actually won but MTV and/or the record company chose yo go with the other band.
“Dog Police,” the band responsible for the 1982 single, “Dog Police.” It was championed by “Weird Al” Yankovic and early MTV.
Everyone wins.
Somewhere in a populous city, as you walk down an unassuming street wondering where in the world you can find whatever it is you’re looking for, you suddenly notice an unassuming shop you’ve never seen before. There’s no sign designating a name. Just an “open” sign on the door. The windows are dark and you can’t see inside. Yet you can’t help yourself; your curiosity gets the better of you. You open the door and walk in.
Welcome to Shylok’s Arbitrary Curio Shop.
The shop is loaded from wall to wall and ceiling to floor with all kinds of things. There are rows and rows of shelves and bins filled with all sorts of items from nick-knacks to tools to books to... whatever! Pretty much anything that you’re looking for is available here , both magical and non-magical. There are no weapons though (“The mind is the only weapon a true warrior needs”, is a well known Shylok quote). Patrons aren’t sure, but they feel the shop must be bigger than it appears to be from the outside to hold as much stuff as it does.
Previous patrons all say that Shylok himself waits before revealing himself; giving patrons time to look around. When someone has found something that interests them, Shylok is suddenly there, ready to talk about whatever it is that has piqued their mind’s interest, and to make a deal.
Shylok himself is a mystery. He is a man, but other than that you really can’t tell anything about him. He is bald with pale skin. The most aware among his customers notice that he actually has no hair anywhere on his body, including eyebrows. He’s taller than a dwarf, but not as tall as an elf. He has an even, baritone voice that has no discernible accent. He wears a plain grey tunic that goes to the floor, with wide sleeves that he keeps his hands in, crossed in front of his body, until it’s time to make the deal. There are records of encounters with his shop dating back to longer than any being could naturally live. Yet Shylok seems to never age. When asked direct questions about himself, he gives very indirect answers. Asked how old he is he says, “Old enough to have acquired all these items.” If asked where he is from he simply replies, “Not from here.” He does not have a significant other and tells people who inquire, “The shop, and the needs of it’s patrons, are my one true love.”
The shop is not actually named Shylok’s Arbitrary Curio Shop. Truth be told, no one really knows the name of the shop. Someone at some time just started calling it that and the name stuck. If asked, Shylok simply replies, “I am Shylok, and this is my shop.”
Most of the time, Shylok is happy to buy or sell his items for money or things. But there have been reports from some who say that sometimes... when it’s a particularly special, unique or personal item... Shylok will trade in the abstract; Some claim to have traded dreams; some claim to have traded memories; some have traded passions. People also claim to have received these same things as payment for items sold to the shop. One man, burdened with night terrors, sold a locket to the shop in exchange for a week’s worth of peaceful sleep. “I’ve never slept that well again”, he said forlornly.
Most patrons have never been able to set foot into the shop again. They leave and then return the next day only to find a brick wall; or the shop that actually resides in that spot. Owners of those shops always claimed to have been open they day Shylok’s shop was in their location, and always have customers who will back that claim. Those lucky enough to find the shop again always find it somewhere else. On another street, or maybe even in a different city altogether. But it always looks the same, or so they say.
Does Shylok’s really exist? Maybe it’s just a tale that has taken on a life of it’s own; A fable told to kids that has grown to something more.
Or maybe... One day... You’ll be out tying to find that one particular item... And you’ll turn a corner...
Bell, Uncommon
This item appears to be a normal bell. It’s shape, color & material it is made from can be chosen by the DM. If Detect Magic is cast on it, it detects as the school of Divination.
The magic only works when the bell is rung by a creature who can speak. When rung, the ringer of the bell suddenly stiffens and gets a blank look on their face. They then speak aloud a true bit of trivia. The trivia can be about the world the game takes place in, or about a race or class or whatever the DM pleases. For example, a character could ring the bell and then suddenly spout, “The great hero Phineaus Stevens once fought and defeated 20 kobalds all by himself.” Or, “The people of the town of Bandel are very religious and will always great people by saying ‘The blessings of Savrus be with you.’ Just saying ‘hello’ is considered rude.”
The bell does not need to be attuned. The bell will work 1d12 times and recharges every sunrise.
Optional Rule: When a player rings the bell, have the player roll a d20. On the result of a 20, the player speaks a true major secret of the world (about the creation, a currently unknown force of evil building, etc). On the roll of a 1, the player speaks a true secret about themselves. The DM can choose the secret or let the player choose. If they roll an 18 or 19, the trivia revealed is about their current situation. For example, if they’re in a pub about to get dinner, the ringer of the bell may say, “The leg of lamb is especially tasty tonight.” Or if they’re about to open a door in a dungeon and ring the bell, the bell ringer might say, “There are 5 orcs behind this door.”
The next time they tell you Americans are “happy” with their employer provided health insurance remember that that “happiness” is fueled by willful ignorance of what the alternatives are really like and fear of losing what little crappy health care they currently have.
I went to whack at a spider while dreaming and then I whacked my bedside table in real life and almost broke my glasses.
Not enough hearts to give.
Hello, your package has arrived
This is so wholesome
For the past 36 hours, only one question has been on my mind.
With everything he had... With the life he lead... If Anthony Bourdain couldn’t be happy...
Then what hope have I?
No theme, no plan. Just what's going through my head at any time that I want to write about.
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