Sighed - Let Out A Deep Audible Breath Or Made A Similar Sound (such As Weariness Or Relief)

Writing Trust Issues Tension

One keeps asking, “Are you sure?” and “What about…?” because they just can’t believe the other person.

Every little thing the other person says or does is met with suspicion, like, “Why are you really doing this?”

They start to open up, then stop, because they’re not sure if they can trust the other person yet.

One keeps asking for reassurance, like, “You wouldn’t lie to me, right?” but it’s clear they’re not convinced.

A tiny mistake or secret gets blown way out of proportion because the trust was already shaky.

Quick Guide to Punctuating Dialogue

“This is a line of dialogue,” she said.

“This,” he said, “is a sentence split by a speech tag.”

“This is a full sentence,” she said. “This is a new sentence.”

“This is a sentence followed by an action.” He smiled. “They’re separate sentences, because I didn’t speak by smiling.”

So you know when you're writing a scene where the hero is carrying an injured person and you realize you've never been in this situation and have no idea how accurate the method of transportation actually is?

Oh boy, do I have a valuable resource for you!

Here is a PDF of the best ways to carry people depending on the situation and how conscious the injured person needs to be for the carrying position.

Literally a life saver.

(No pun intended.)

Reactions to tragedy

In real life, pretty much everybody reacts to tragedy differently. So why is it that every author has their pet reaction to tragedy that all their characters use? Not only is it unrealistic, but it takes away the chance for the characters’ different reactions to reveal things about themselves.

Possible reactions to tragedy (not an exhaustive list):

Distracting oneself with mindless activities

Distracting oneself with others’ humor

Distracting oneself by making jokes

Distracting oneself by reading/watching/playing stories

Distracting oneself with hard mental work

Distracting oneself with hard physical work

Distracting oneself with creative endeavors

Distracting oneself by chatting with friends about normal things

Talking to friends about the tragedy

Talking to authority figures about the tragedy

Talking anonymously with strangers about the tragedy (if possible)

Getting wrapped up in others’ problems

Staying unusually silent

Screaming

Crying loudly

Crying silently

Doing everything possible not to cry

Pacing

Taking unhealthy risks

Going for revenge against whoever one can blame

Punching random objects

Throwing random objects

Lashing out against friends and family members

Trying to prevent a similar tragedy from happening

Eating more than usual

Not eating

Taking mind-altering substances

Getting in unhealthy relationships

Isolating oneself

Obsessing over routine

Numbness combined with apathy

Numbness combined with going through one’s normal motions

Trying to get things back the way they were

Denial

No reaction at first but a reaction hits later in greater force

No reaction at all. Emotions relating to the tragedy just fail to load. Note that this can happen to anybody and does not mark a character as a sociopath.

Characters can have more than one reaction at the same time, one reaction after another, or different reactions to different tragedies.

How could one play a manipulative character?

More bits of writing discussion

Some words to use when writing things:

winking

clenching

pulsing

fluttering

contracting

twitching

sucking

quivering

pulsating

throbbing

beating

thumping

thudding

pounding

humming

palpitate

vibrate

grinding

crushing

hammering

lashing

knocking

driving

thrusting

pushing

force

injecting

filling

dilate

stretching

lingering

expanding

bouncing

reaming

elongate

enlarge

unfolding

yielding

sternly

firmly

tightly 

harshly

thoroughly

consistently

precision

accuracy

carefully

demanding

strictly

restriction

meticulously

scrupulously

rigorously

rim

edge

lip

circle

band

encircling

enclosing

surrounding

piercing

curl

lock

twist

coil

spiral

whorl

dip

wet

soak

madly

wildly

noisily

rowdily

rambunctiously

decadent

degenerate

immoral

indulgent

accept

take

invite

nook

indentation

niche

depression

indent

depress

delay

tossing

writhing

flailing

squirming

rolling

wriggling

wiggling

thrashing

struggling

grappling

striving

straining

How to Write Betrayal

Betrayal is a powerful plot element that is represented in countless stories. The gravity of betrayal brings a profound depth to character dynamics, plots, and themes alike, making it an indispensable tool for writers to explore emotions, conflicts, and the complexities of human nature. Let’s explore some quick tips on how to write betrayal!

Behaviour

Secretive actions

Dishonesty

Becoming emotionally distant

A sudden change in routine

Pushing people away

Nervous or fidgety movement

Frequent lying or making up stories

Unexpected aggression or irritability

Unjustified mood swings or emotional outbursts

Increasingly defensive

Interactions

Disturbed interpersonal relationships

Frequent misunderstandings or fights

Withholding information

Avoiding personal discussions

Insincerity in conversations

Frequently cancelling or missing plans

A sudden shift in relationship dynamics

Quick to deflect or place blame

Frequent subject changes

Gradual emotional detachment

Body Language

Avoiding direct eye contact

Defensive stance and crossed arms

Covering mouth or touching face

Shuffling or restless movements

Forcing smiles or laughter

Constantly looking around or at the ground

Stiff, tense posture

Heavy breathing or frequent sighing

Avoiding touch or skin contact

Exaggerated gestures

Attitude

A lack of concern or empathy

Increasingly personal and hurtful arguments

Erratic or unpredictable reactions

Self-centeredness

Insincerity

Dismissive or negative attitude

Callous disregard for other's feelings

A negative or pessimistic outlook

Inability to handle criticism

Withdrawal from relationships

Positive Story Outcomes

In the wake of a betrayal, a story can manifest various positive outcomes that add depth to the plot and its characters. Relationships can be strengthened, showing their resilience. Characters may discover newfound self-reliance and learn valuable lessons about trust and forgiveness, leading to an increase in empathy and understanding, personal growth, and the reinforcement of personal values. These experiences can encourage a clearer understanding of personal boundaries, prompt self-reflection, introspection, and the development of healthier coping mechanisms. Ultimately, these positive outcomes can bring about improved communication and honesty, forming the silver lining in the cloud of betrayal.

Negative Story Outcomes

The aftershocks of betrayal can reverberate throughout your story. This might include an irreparable fracture of trust and damage to relationships. Betrayal can trigger psychological trauma, leading to an increase in suspicion and insecurity. Feelings of inadequacy or self-blame may surface, and characters can experience a heightened sense of isolation. The fear of forming new relationships or trusting others can become overwhelming. There may also be an escalation of conflict or violence and the reinforcement of negative behaviours or patterns. Damaged self-esteem or self-worth may be another repercussion, and this can encourage destructive coping mechanisms.

Helpful Synonyms

Treachery

Deception

Double-crossing

Duplicity

Backstabbing

Two-faced

Disloyalty

Unfaithfulness

Infidelity

Falseness

Perfidy

Treason

Fraud

Deceit

Slander

Misrepresentation

Falsification

Chicanery

Double-dealing

The Editing Agenda: Those Darn Dashes

When it comes to formatting and punctuation issues, hyphens and dashes take the cake. Their use in books is incredibly inconsistent, which leads to a lot of confusion for anyone trying to learn them. This article will give a thorough breakdown of each kind and their uses as they pertain to fiction. Keep in mind that the rules I’m covering are the ones that are the most beneficial for fiction writing—there are some that won’t be addressed in this post. And all rules mentioned are based on The Chicago Manual of Style, 16th Edition.

Hyphens

Phrasal Adjectives

Phrasal adjectives are a short group of words (usually two but sometimes three or more) that link together to modify another noun. They typically precede the noun and are very common in fiction writing.

Example 1: rose-colored glasses

Example 2: four-chambered heart

A fantastic resource for this can be found on The Chicago Manual of Style website: http://www.chicagomanualofstyle.org/16/images/ch07_tab01.pdf

This chart shows you the breakdown of various combinations of adjectives and how they should be punctuated, including permanently hyphenated words and exceptions. The CMOS advises following Merriam-Webster’s dictionary for determining which words and phrases should always be hyphenated. Some of examples of this are the words life-form, run-down (not to be confused with rundown, which holds a different meaning), and short-lived.

Compound Name

Hyphens are also used for compound names, including surnames, first names, and other names.

Example 1: Merriam-Webster

Example 2: Mary-Kay

Example 3: Theta-Gamma

Word Division

The most common word division breaks where you’d find hyphens would be line breaks, syllable breaks (often used for pronunciation purposes), and prefixes and suffixes. Which isn’t all that common in fiction writing. However, you will often see it in dialogue, particularly with stuttering.

Example: “W-w-where’d you l-l-leave it?” Tom asked.

Separators

Hyphens can also be used to separate letters and numbers. That’s that type of thing you see with phone numbers, ID numbers, and the like. However, a great use for separation hyphens in fiction writing if when have a word that you need to spell out completely or partially.

Example: The sign read: “C-A-U-T.” The rest had long worn off.

En Dashes

Dates, Times, and Page Numbers

The en dash’s main purpose is to replace the word to. The most typical occurrence of this would be with dates, times, and page numbers.

Example 1: He held office from 1929–1932.

Example 2: The event is Saturday, 2:30p.m.–4:30p.m.

Example 3: Tonight’s assignment is to read pages 32–45.

You also might see this with scoring/votes and with an unfinished number range.

Example 4: We won our last game 13–2.

Example 5: The magazine (2003–) has produced six volumes so far.

However, you should always use the word “to” instead of an en dash if “from” precedes the range.

Example 6: He joined us from 11a.m. to 12p.m. but had to leave for lunch after that.

Directions and Compound Adjectives

En dashes are also sometimes used with words, as can be the case with directions.

Example 1: I took the London–Paris train last week.

And sometimes—very rarely—an en dash is used with compound adjectives. This is where it gets tricky because the intended meaning can often get muddled by using this method, so it’s usually best to reword and find a more elegant solution when possible.

Example 2a: I’d like to find more Taylor Swift–style music.

Example 2b: I’d like to find more artists like Taylor Swift.

Version 2b of the above example flows much better and is less confusing than the first, so it’s definitely the better choice.

And with two sets of compound adjectives where the sets are acting as coordinate adjectives to each other, a comma is the best option.

Example 3: This run-down, high-maintenance property will end up costing a lot of money.

Universities

The last use of en dashes is one that you probably won’t find in most fiction writing, but it’s useful to know nonetheless. You will sometimes find universities with multiple campus locations using an en dash to include the location name.

Example: I put my application in for Fordham University–Westchester.

Em Dashes

Em dashes are used to set off phrases and clauses in a manuscript that require an abrupt break, either to draw attention to it or because there is a large shift in the train of thought. This is one of the most useful tools an author has in fiction writing when it’s used correctly and sparingly. Note that em dashes should NOT be substituted with ellipses; the two serve different purposes.

Em Dashes vs. Ellipses

Em dashes are used for interruption or to set off an explanatory element. An ellipsis is used to indicate hesitation or trailing off.

Example 1: “Lucy, where did you put—”

“It’s none of your business!” Lucy shouted from the other room.

Example 2: I stumbled down the stairs—the power had gone out earlier that evening—before I found my way to the bathroom.

Example 3: “I don’t know…” I admitted. “I hadn’t really thought much about it.”

Interrupted Thoughts

Sometimes the interruptions can come in the form of narrative thoughts.

Example: Justin’s feet pounded against the ground as he blazed down the trail. Awesome. If he kept up the pace, he’d beat—a tree root caught his foot, and he was sent sprawling into the dirt.

And if you have a character that is having trouble forming a sentence due to the circumstances at hand and/or heighted emotions, em dashes can be used to indicate stammering between words (not syllables).

Example: “What I meant was—why can’t we—oh, just forget it,” Julie spat out.

Words and Phrases

An em dash can also be used to set off noun or pronoun at the beginning of the sentence.

Example: Cowards—they were the ones who sought power.

Another common use for the em dash is before the phrases “namely,” “that is,” “for example,” and others similar to those.

Example: We spent most of the afternoon in the garden—that is, until the heat got to be unbearable.

Note: You should never use em dashes within or immediately following an element that already has a set of em dashes. Not only would this look terrible aesthetically, but it could also cause potential misinterpretation.

Interrupted Dialogue

The last use of em dashes for fiction is probably one of the trickiest, but it can also be the most useful. If you have a line of dialogue that is split up by an action in the middle, you can use em dashes to set off that action.

Example 1: “Well, the thing is”—Tommy quickly turned his attention to his feet—“it’s just not working out between us.”

Note that the em dashes go outside of the quotation marks in such a case, and the quotation is a continuous line of dialogue that is being split. The first word of the dialogue after the split should be lowercase. You can’t use this method if you have two separate sentences that have an action in between. In that situation, you’d use periods.

Example 2: “You really mean it.” I could hear my voice catch in my throat. “I just don’t understand what happened.

Two-Em Dash

One type of em dashes that is not commonly used in fiction writing that is probably my favorite is the 2-em dash. The 2-em dash is used to omit words or parts of words that are missing or illegible, or to conceal a name. Two em dashes are most useful for the genres of fantasy, thriller, and mystery, where characters might come across documents that have damage to them. The example below is from a snippet of a work in progress of mine: book one of the Ansakerr series.

My dearest I——,                                                                        

If you are reading this, I have long since p—— away. I can only pray that my —— box and this letter have fallen into your hands and your hands alone. There is much you have yet learn to about me. There is still a D——k O—— out there, one more dangerous than you can imagine. For now, you are protected, but be on your toes, my girl. One day soon, I fear the p—— will fade, and you’ll need to be ready. He is coming.

The key will lead you to A——. It will hold the answers you’re looking for.

Deepest love and affection,

Grandma Bea

Notice that most of the missing parts are for key elements, including names, places, and very specific items that are clearly key for the plot. If you craft these parts well, you can purposely mislead a reader in the narrative, giving a bit of a twist to your story.                                                                                  

Formatting and Stylistic Use

No spaces should be used around hyphens or dashes except in the case of the 2-em dash when it is being used to completely omit a word. This is probably the most common error regarding formatting of hyphens and dashes that I come across. Though there is some debate about spacing among various sources, the CMOS is pretty clear about it. But again, as with anything else in writing, consistency is the most important.

As for formatting the different dashes, mainstream word processors include symbols for each that you can insert into your document. In fact, some of them even automatically convert two hyphens used together into an em dash. While most publishers will accept em dashes in the form of two hyphens (in fact, some even request that you submit manuscripts that way), when it comes to actual printing and online publishing of the material, you’ll want to make sure they’re replaced. Your document will look more professional when you use the correct symbol, and your readers will likely notice as well.

Tip: To quickly find and replace any stray instances of two hyphens with an em dash symbol, use your word processors Replace function.

Lastly, when it comes to use with other punctuation, a question mark or an exclamation mark can precede an em dash, but never a comma, colon, or semicolon. In other words, if you use an em dash where one of the latter punctuation marks would typically be used, the dash takes the place of the punctuation.

Example: He bent down to tie his shoe—but he stopped when he saw Alyssa approaching.

A brief guide on how to punctuate dialogue

Punctuation in dialogue is one of the easiest things to get wrong in writing, and, frustratingly, it can be hard to find decent teaching resources. So if you’re struggling to tell whether to use a comma or a period, this guide is for you. 

1) Every time a new character speaks, the first line of their dialogue must be set apart by a paragraph break. 

Right: 

“I think Jeff Bezos might be a lizard,” said Bo. 

“Not this again,” I replied.

Wrong: 

“I think Jeff Bezos might be a lizard,” said Bo. “Not this again,” I replied. 

2) Only direct dialogue needs quotation marks. Direct dialogue is used when someone is speaking. Indirect dialogue is a summary of what was said.

Direct:

“Come on, Jeff, get ‘em!”

Indirect:

He told Jeff to go get ‘em.

3) Punctuation always goes inside quotation marks. 

Right:

“What would you prefer?”

“A goat cheese salad.”

Wrong:

“What would you prefer”?

“A goat cheese salad”.

4) If you follow or start a quote with a dialogue tag, you end the quote with a  comma. 

Right: 

“Welcome to the internet,” he said.

She asked, “Can I look around?”

Wrong:

“Welcome to the internet.” He said. 

She asked. “Can I look around?”

5) But, if you follow or start a quote with an action, you use a period. 

Right:

“Welcome to the internet.” He smiled. 

Her eyes flicked to the screen. “Can I look around?”

Wrong:

“Welcome to the internet,” he smiled. 

Her eyes flicked to the screen, “Can I look around?”

6) When breaking up dialogue with a tag, use two commas. Or, if the first piece of dialogue is a complete sentence, use a comma and then a period. 

“Yes,” he replied, “an avocado.” (split sentence)

“I hoped it wouldn’t come to this,” she said. “I loved that avocado.” (full sentence)

7) You may have noticed there are two different quotation marks ( ‘ and “). And when putting a quote inside a quote, you need to use the opposite style of quotation. 

Roger looked up. “And then he said, ‘I didn’t steal the avocado.’”

Or:

Roger looked up. ‘And then he said, “I didn’t steal the avocado.”’

(Using ‘ or “ often depends on personal choice. Although Brits like to use ‘ and Americans tend to use “ for their main dialogue)

So that’s my short guide to the main rules when punctuating dialogue! If you have any questions about less common rules, let me know.