When I Met Him, It Was Like Taking A Breath Of Fresh Air. I Can Get Used To This...
When i met him, it was like taking a breath of fresh air. I can get used to this...
- (I think hes the one, so i hope i dont mess this up)
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I had a family, once. Then i fucked up and things were never the same.
- the funny thing is, i don't take it back. Im happier alone, and i think that scares me more...
In Biology we were talking about euthanasia and our thoughts on it. Literally everyone in my class was saying they couldnt imagine wanting to die. That they didnt even have the guts to even hurt themselves in any way. I kept getting flashbacks to last night, and all the fresh scars on my arms and legs and it made me die a little bit more inside, knowing how truly alone i was.
i could never explain why i cut myself
I really tried to make this work, and I hope you know that...
I said it would be fine. That i was okay just being your friend... until you told me that you love her and that you would wait for her. You once said that to me, and now you dont even think about what we once had, because to you, that was nothing. I knew i was just your rebound, but i just wanted to know what it was like. I was in it for the rush, that high you get. But little did i know there would be such a dark fall after. Were good. Weve both moved on. But, still i go back to us holding hands in the movie theatre, telling me you love me. Well, not really. You went back to her a few weeks later. Youre chasing someone who doesnt love you, and im chasing you, who doesnt love me. What made me this messed up that i dont look at the people who love me but only think about the one who doesnt? Because whats not healthy for you always has the best high, and once youve had a taste, youre hooked.
Its always in my mind, and it never goes away. I think about cutting all the time. That doesnt change. However, i dont want to anymore, and thats what makes me think im getting better.
- i mostly want the last time to be the last time.
I'm remembering shit I dont want to, and I'm feeling shit I dont want to.
Slit your wrist, cut your thighs
Fake a smile, and dry your eyes
Hate yourself, and hate your life
Welcome, to my world of lies
it shouldn't be this hard... right?
