#would

this is an unacceptable proposition and i will steal your kidneys

please god help me i got toothpaste in my hair and it's not coming out

Allow me to ruin this by telling you hawk tua is a girl from a 10 year old vine who got famous by making a joke about how to properly give head hence the name "hawk tua". I'm returning the dissatisfaction i got from being told i live under a rock then memesplained to only to find out that that the meme is in fact almost a decade old and completely unfunny, you're welcome.

the joy I get by not understanding new popular stuff is one of my favorite feelings. I'm so happy I will never understand who hawk tua is, and I'm really happy with that outcome.

FOOF

What are some genderfluid alternatives to ranch?

🥺 i had a dream i was a princess

i mean i was trapped on a desert island and had 5 days before i ran out of water but i was a princess

Cum

What are some genderfluid alternatives to ranch?

I wonder if there's someone out there whose thing is that literally all they want out of life is to be sucked into a jet engine and no one knows.

No one knows he's sitting in a padded cell waiting for his moment in life. Biding his time until the day he can walk out of that room, hop the fence of an airport then immediately get sucked into a GE90 turbo fan. T-posing in an inward draft before he's ground into dust, vaporized and shot out the back at as a molten human jet stream, shining brighter than any man ever could in that brief moment where man and machine intersect. No one will know who he is. No one will know why he did it. They will blame his captors for failing to prevent him from attaining his lifelong dream. No one understood him. No one ever will. They won't even know that his valiant sacrifice will save three-hundred sixty passengers and the Boeing 777's entire crew from a grisly demise by preventing a plane with an undiscovered engine malfunction from taking off. All for the low low price of spraying the runway with a fine red mist and permanently traumatizing the child sitting in seat number 16A.

futilitarian

Something that is utilitarian in its futility.

why the fuck does my mother move so much of my stuff it's always "I WOULD MOVE THAT SO YOU DONT LOSE IT" and then she moves it and i can't fucking FIND IT where the FUCK is my PEN FOR My TABLET

You know that state of mind where you can't sit still, nothing is at ease, and you feel like you need to your skin off? I recently gained the ability to enter that state at will.

HOW DO UNDO?