High School Bernard Trying To Act Cool And All Knowing Around Tim To Impress Him.

people don't talk enough about how fucking funny it is that bruce can sub in his kids as batman when he's too busy. like can you imagine it from the league's perspective? imagine you have this really mysterious, geniusly scary guy that you know next to nothing about, never cracks a smile and yet always comes out on top, and one day he shows up to a league meeting and there's just something... off. about him.

you can't pin it down because he's literally acting exactly the same as usual and there's no reason to think there's anything wrong, but maybe he shifted in his seat one to many times, or he looked just a tad bit too bored during green lantern's case review, but something's just... odd. so you quietly ask superman after the meeting if anything's up with the bat bcs you know those two are closer and also clark can hear heartbeats so if something's wrong surely he'll pick it up? and without hesitation he leans over to you and mumbles 'yeah batman was busy, that's his 17 yr old son. he's a crime lord and kills people sometimes though so we're not allowed to let him into the weapons department.' and then walks away like it's normal.

like the whiplash the league must go through every time they realise that no, this is not their fearless dark and brooding leader, this is in fact one of his dipshit kids being forced to sub in bcs the real batman broke an ankle, is incredible.

wonder woman: so that's my proposed plan, what are your thoughts batman?

batman: hn. i think that- *voice raising two octaves* oh shit hold on my phones buzzing

the league:

batman, answering the phone and immediately dropping the Bat Posture™: what do you mean- aw come on little wing that's not fair! but- no, NO DON'T YOU DARE TELL ALFRED I'LL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU- IM SORRY OK I'LL BUY YOU MORE- *catches sight of the league watching him, baffled* *stiffens* ok listen i promise to replace them but i gotta go, please show me mercy iloveyoubye *hangs up*

the league:

batman:

batman: *coughs awkwardly*

superman: *sighs*

batman, to superman: ...red hood found out i ate his chocolate pretzels-

superman, shaking his head: just... just stop.

the flash: so this isn't batman either, is it?

wonder woman: if this one's also a criminal im losing my mind.

superman, tiredly: no no, this one isn't a criminal. this one's actually a cop.

batman: *sinks down in his seat* b's gonna kill me

green lantern, mystified: where does he keep GETTING you all from!?

'batman' dick, who made a pact with jason to Always Fuck With Bruce Whenever The Opportunity Arises: batman is a whore.

they think they've finally sussed out all 2 of batman's kids and then one day during a meeting 'batman' ends up on a 30 minute rant about different hacking methods this tech villain could be using that results in him half way through a sentence breaking off to say '-oh uncle clark could you pass me that pen- thanks, anyway so-' and then five minutes after that when the league have all been exchanging incredulous looks he finally freezes and is like. SHIT.

wonder woman: you're different from the other two, aren't you?

batman: maybe i am maybe i'm not, you can't prove it.

wonder woman:

green lantern: so like, are you new or have you just managed to avoid sub duty up until now?

superman, coughing: actually, this is this ones ninth occasion of replacing batman. you've just never realised before.

the league:

batman: yeah actually the other two are kinda mad i lasted longer than them...

the flash: how the fuck does he keep getting kids with the exact same build as him!??!?

'batman' tim, spent 20 minutes padding the suit out so he would look the part, still mad that bruce keeps palming WE work off on him: oh he forces us to take steroids for it.

the league, concerned:

superman, pinching the bridge of his nose: now come on red robin-

batman, fully tearing up and looking distraught: PLEASE uncle clark, it HURTS, you can't keep COVERING FOR HIM!

superman, frantically to the league: this one lies.

bonus

the league, squinting at batman:

the league: ...

superman: *head in his hands, too disappointed to do anything*

the league: *silently exchanging looks, wondering if anybody's brave enough to say anything*

duke as batman, fully aware this is fucking stupid but jason and tim fell on the floor laughing when dick came up with the idea and frankly, he wanted to see if anybody would have to guts to call him out: so, are we all ready to start the meeting?

Get to know your mutuals

i've been tagged by @perrysglasses :3

what's the origin of your blog title?

in like 2023 i started being active on marauders twitter and i wanted a name to go by online so i chose jamie which was based off of james potter

otp(s) + shipname(s):

johnlock, timber, birdflash, parkner, wolfstar

favorite color:

red

song stuck in your head:

most wanted man by lucy dacus (this whole album has been stuck in my head since it came out)

weirdest habit/trait:

a lot of the time when reading a new book i read the first sentence and then the last sentence and then i read the whole book

hobbies:

reading, journaling, editing, writing

if you work, what's your profession?

i mean i used to work at mcdonalds but i dont anymore

if you could have any job you wish, what would it be?

museum archivist

something you're good at:

uhh idk ive been told im good at analysis (specifically media analysis)

something you hate:

the sound of markers on paper

something you collect:

funko pops!!

something you forget:

where i put any of my electronics once i've put them down

what's your love language?

gift giving + physical touch

favorite movie/show:

movie: the breakfast club

show: changes constantly but right now it's young justice

favorite food:

any variation of chicken and rice pretty much

favorite animal:

hedgehog or spotted deer

what were you like as a child:

lonely and annoying

favorite subject at school:

english

least favorite subject:

math

what's your best character trait?

loyal

what's your worst character trait?

lack of volume control

if you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be?

uhhhhhhhhh the college i'm currently attending

if you could travel in time, who would you like to meet?

jeff buckley

im tagging @arandomao3user !

my favourite thing about the young justice 1998 comics is when someone will say something outlandish and then it will cut right to that exact thing happening

Kon: Tim, I’m hungry.

Tim: Okay, do you want me to order something?

Kon: No, you don’t get it, I’m so hungry I could eat Darla Aquista

Tim: Kon, what the fuck.

i’ve done everything that has been asked of me

self indulgent sam beckett ethel cain edit <33 thank you to @hballegro for most of the scenes !!

i swear to god that social cue wasnt there before

for shits and giggles: my personal take on what shoes each batfam member wears

—

bruce - almost always dress shoes, if he’s in the manor casually he’s in slippers and socks but if he’s leaving he’s in dress shoes.

dick - he’s a vans lover till he dies, and he never switched over to converse when they got more popular. he has one pair of custom nightwing converse that he got from wally and donna.

barbara - adidas or pretty much any comfortable running sneaker (yes even after the killing joke). she also loves flats she thinks they’re so cute.

jason - combat boots. he likes how heavy they feel, they help him feel grounded, keeps him aware that he’s moving and walking and alive. he also has a pair of red hood slippers from lian and roy.

tim - his go to is always a good pair of converse but he has the more eclectic shoe collection you’ve ever seen. heels, heelys, sneakers, boots, flip flops, you name it he’s got a pair.

steph - you wouldn’t think it but she’s a secret sneaker head. she gets excited over new shoe drops and she loves dunks and jordans. sneakers are always a good go to present for her.

cass - converse but she ties them like gwen stacy in the spiderverse movies. also has a pair of purple vans she bought cause they remind her of steph. she can on occasion be found just wearing her ballet flats around the house.

damian - wears dress shoes like all the time like bruce, however he has a pair of light up sketchers from dick that he does wear on occasion.

duke - has two pairs of converse, one of them practically falling apart at the seams and the other pair being a gift from bruce. he also likes breathable nike running shoes, his favorite being a basic black pair.

i want to put bernard dowd in a box and shake him around a bit

they call me DC Comics cause I also divide my life into pre and post crisis

The brothers ever