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Body Positive - Blog Posts
Negative skin condition sigma should not exist any more.
i hope everyone with acne, eczema, vitiligo, psoriasis, dermatitis, and skin conditions have a good day today
Everyone has rolls when they bend over. Everyone. Lets just get this out of the way right off the bat. In the last few months, I’ve had over 30 women ranging from rail thin to extra large naked in my bed and I would routinely ask them to hug their knees. You won’t believe this… ALL OF THEM HAD TUMMY ROLLS. Not one was exempt. Even my super fabulous professional model 6 foot tall and some amazing Katie had rolls. The stomach pictures turned into some of my favorite images from the project… so quit thinking they’re bad, and try accepting (dare I say embracing?) yours! When people say “you’re gorgeous”, believe them. I tend not to, and it’s a cryin’ shame. When people genuinely compliment you, it’s because they really see it. Try to not dismiss their perspective as wrong and assume that you know better. They see all of you. We see our flaws. Believe them. “Arm flab is embarrassing.” No its not, go fuck yourself. No, not you. The people who tell us that, silly. You’re not stunning despite your body. You’re stunning because of your body. There is a distinct difference. I grew up in a culture that would deem “unattractive” women as “special spirits”. A degrading categorization that implied that the only thing worthwhile was whatever was inside. Well, yeah. We are all much much more than our bodies, but our bodies are a beautiful part of us too. Beauty comes from the inside AND the outside. I am of the firm belief that every person is beautiful, and so this leaves the inside to be the part that is the most telling when it comes to true “beauty”. A guy can pick you up off your feet, and it won’t break his back. “Wait, whaaaaaa Jes? You’re full of shit.” Nope. This just happened to me for the first time in… six years? I’m considerably heavier than I was 6 years ago (like… 70 pounds heavier) and so when I ran up to my friend Eric for a hug and he picked me up with my heels in the air… it left me breathless. I had forgotten that it was possible; I had accepted a life void of being lifted. So exhilarating. Eric didn’t suffer any injuries and walked away unscathed. You don’t need to exercise every day in order to feel better about yourself. Many believe that someone who’s fat needs to exercise as much as possible in order to prove that they’re committed to becoming “less fat”. As if accepting one’s body as is would be a sin, and that’s just silly. Yes, exercising has wonderful physical and mental benefits, but you don’t owe it to anyone else to make an effort to change your body unless you wanna. You do not have to alter yourself to be okay. Period. You’re allowed to fall in love with yourself. I promise. This will be the scariest thing you will ever do, and that’s okay. It will also be the most amazing (albeit super gradual) experience you will ever have. It doesn’t make you narcissistic. It doesn’t make you vain. It is liberating in every form of the word.
It’s also okay to have days where you don’t love yourself. Read this. No really. Read it. And then realize that we’ve grown up learning and internalizing that we are not okay our entire life. For me, that’s 26 years of self-hate indoctrination and brainwashing. It’s going to take a lot longer than you think to reverse this thinking, and it’s definitely not going to happen overnight. Allow yourself to have “weak” days. Cry, mourn, sob, yell, throw things. Whichever. Then get up, brush yourself off, give the media the finger, and move forward because you’re a warrior. Everyone’s boobs are uneven. If you have a lot of boobs, they might be way uneven. Don’t stress. This is totally normal. There are people who prefer large ladies. And I mean all sizes of large. I thought that my best bet in life was to find a partner who accepted my fat. Pause. Give me a minute to hang my head and shake it at myself. Not only are there people who adore “thick” women, but a LOT of them who prefer it. This eventually ends up in an interesting territory which Marianne talks about here, but the point that I’m trying to make goes back to the “despite vs because of” argument. Here is what you need to know: you do NOT need to settle for a lover who is “okay” with your body. You have the right (and millions of opportunities) to find someone who is infatuated with your body. You deserve to be worshiped, woman! Fat chicks bang hot guys… ALL. THE. TIME.I know that hot is relative and all inclusive depending on who you chat with, but for these purposes, lets talk about the “universally attractive” kind of hot. Y’know, the kind fat chicks don’t deserve? We want to pretend that we don’t know what I’m talking about, but lets be real; we totally do. The fact that “fat chicks bang ‘hot’ guys” was one of the most powerful realizations I’ve had thus far. In line with the above paragraph, I knew that there would be someone that would find me attractive but the pool would be small (because of my body) and potentially full of guys I didn’t personally find sexy. So I would have to settle for anyone that would take me. After all, how could a conventionally gorgeous man (tall and with tattoos of course) like fat chicks? Weh-he-hell, let me tell you somethin’: through various sites, events, parties, and corner store meetings, I found myself with over a hundred men who were champing at the bit to get with this. I was the one who had to sift through and pick the hottest of the hot. Ladies, over a hundred. “Girls” showed what society thinks about that when Hannah’s character has a weekend romance with an attractive and wealthy doctor. People flipped their shit. “Patrick Wilson is so hot he would never do Lena Dunham” was the most eye catching. Wilson’s wife responded to that rubbish here, but the tweet speaks volumes about what the majority of people think unconventional women deserve. Jesus christ, it’s annoying. I won’t spill the details of my bedroom coming and goings, but lets just say this: the hottest guys in Tucson and I get along just fine. I would recommend reading Emily’s article on xoJane for a better explanation of what I’m struggling to say. Know this: the myth that “atypical” bodies can’t be paired with “typically attractive” bodies is false. Women need to know that all bodies can be paired with all bodies. Riding during sex will NOT collapse his insides. Just trust me on this one, what you fear is totally false. Here’s a great article that changed my life. Wearing whatever you want is a political statement. Join the revolution. Throw style rules out the window. Wear the tutu. Wear the horizontal stripes. Wear the turquoise skinny jeans. Wear the see-through blouse. Wear the bikini. Wear the sweat pants. Wear the shirt that says “Does this shirt make me look fat?”. Wear whatever it is that makes you happy. This is your life. You are fucking beautiful. I’m saying this with a straight face and seriously meaningful look where I maintain eye contact for an uncomfortable amount of time. I know you don’t feel like you fit into the category of gorgeous that our world creates. I know that its hard. I know that its a daily battle. But fuck their fascist beauty standards. The second you stop looking for a skinny model in your mirror and start looking at YOU… is the second you will start to appreciate what you are. Stop looking for flaws. Stop looking for differences. You are perfect. You are more than enough. You are the best thing that has ever happened to you. And you are fucking beautiful. Say it with me.
But then, the truth was never really the point. Thin women don’t tell their fat friends ‘You’re not fat’ because they’re confused about the dictionary definition of the word, or their eyes are broken, or they were raised on planets where size 24 is the average for women. They don’t say it because it’s the truth. They say it because fat does not mean just fat in this culture. It can also mean any or all of the following: Ugly Unhealthy Smelly Lazy Ignorant Undisciplined Unlovable Burdensome Embarrassing Unfashionable Mean Angry Socially inept Just plain icky So when they say ‘You’re not fat,’ what they really mean is ‘You’re not a dozen nasty things I associate with the word fat.’ The size of your body is not what’s in question; a tape measure or a mirror could solve that dispute. What’s in question is your goodness, your lovability, your intelligence, your kindness, your attractiveness. And your friends, not surprisingly, are inclined to believe you get high marks in all those categories. Ergo, you couldn’t possibly be fat.
Kate Harding (via shakethecobwebs)
“They didn’t build this shit with fat people in mind” she sighed as she wriggled her way out of the just slightly too tight space behind the register.
“But you’re not fat, don’t say that,” he responded.
Tell that to the hips that got caught in a turnstile yesterday and everyday that she forgets...
O yeah I made these two comics cuz I totally ship Honeybunch! And we need more poly rep!
happy to be able to drink water again lol
I want to match those chubby girls on tinder. Don't hide your wishes and your body, please!
Anna says, “Bring me a pizza, and I’ll let you lay on the couch while I smother you with my fat fluffy belly.” (ssbbwannaoli.tumblr.com)
I love how pretty, soft, fat and happy she looks. 😍
fresh
like if ud kiss me
reblog and comment on how ud fuck me
Redheads always have so perfect big tits 😍
💋
It’s just that simple sometimes.
Be #sexy and #dangerous at the same in #GYM time like the #orca #whale
https://teespring.com/sexy-dangerous-orca-legging
Actually feeling self-confident this morning. Gods only know why.
"Be comfortable in your own body" b*tch I *am* that unrealistic beauty standard everyone's talking about
Self-talk is your internal dialogue. It’s influenced by your subconscious mind, & it reveals your thoughts, beliefs, questions, & ideas. How we talk to ourselves matters- how that is structured is often moulded by what we are told growing up, what we witness during our childhood & every perception the world offers us. There is not much we can do to prevent or change it but we can have awareness of how our influences have shaped our thought patterns & seeped into our self talk.
When you look in the mirror what do you see? Do you often say things like..."my nose is too big" "I look fat" or when we are faced with a challenge does a little voice in your head tell you "I can't do this, it's too hard."
These moments are mostly unconscious acts & we don't realise how that typical type of self talk can energetically flow into our days so fluidly. We all struggle with negative self-talk that creates self doubt. So you are not alone.
Developing a positive inner voice with awareness & practice helps you build self-esteem & confidence. Your words will make you feel good. When you feel good about yourself, the better your mood will be & your performance will greatly improve.
Positive self-talk enables you to be in control. When you say "I am made to do this", it trumps the negative self-talk that sabotages your day & distracts you as you work. With positive words, you are in control of the day.
Soon enough, you will find that with more positive self-talk, you will react to things differently & things that used to make you self doubt or angry will not exist anymore. When you are in control of your emotions , you are more likely to live a happy & fulfilled life.
One way we can re condition negative self-talk into a positive one is to create a mantra you can live by, & whenever you start listening to the negative voices, say it over & over again. Slowly, the negative voice will vanish.
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I'm a little late to the party, but HAPPY LESBIAN (or WLW) VISIBILITY WEEK!
Tumblr Tuesday: Women Loving Women in Art
It's Lesbian Visibility Week, an excellent time to be celebrating women who love women. Give it up for the sapphics, their muses, and the gorgeous art that honors them.
@greenfinchg:
@ripleylarue:
@femmegrey:
@mimimar:
@onzze:
@yinza:
@emiuli:
@flora-valleyy:
@karlovycross:
@circusbutch:
@jaxalope:
@drizzledrawings:
@suwisuwii:
@gibbarts:
@bearybutch:
Please think before you comment on people's physical traits/appearance! There is NO NEED WHATSOEVER to shame, belittle or otherwise mess with someone's feelings because of something as superficial and unimportant than looks!! It's dumb, it's insensitive, it's unnecessary, uncalled for and oftentimes simply cruel.
Care for some examples?
I was walking my dogs once and stopped at a local dogpark where an elder woman started chatting to me. She was nice enough, but all of a sudden she asked why I didn't get my teeth fix. Yeah, I am 100% aware that I have crooked front teeth. I don't really care, I accept them the way they are, back then I also was not generally in a good mental state and such a comment felt downright mean and utterly out of place. Luckily, I was able to tell her as much by coolly stating that this was none of her business and that it's extremely impolite and rude to say something like that...
I've also had several occassions in my life where people told me negative things about my hair which is not only rude, but also plain racist. European, white people telling me, a PoC, that I should get another hairstyle 'cuz it would look "much better"?! I mean, do they even know what they are suggesting?! Yeah, get over it; not everybody needs to have fair, straight hair. I like my hair the way it is naturally: curly, sometimes a little messy, and whenever I dye it, I do it because I enjoy being colorful (I had it pink for quite some time), but that's my decision and no one else's business and maybe these people should take a long hard look at themselves and understand how utterly brainwashed they have been to believe that there is exactly ONE way of being beautiful/handsome/pretty.
Also, do not comment on people's weight!! Seriously?! Why is this even still a thing?! You know NOTHING about a person's history, about their eating habits, their routines, you don't know whether they are struggling with an eating disorder and you certainly don't get to decide what their body has to look like for them to like and celebrate themselves!! It's just not okay to tell someone "Oh, you used to be so thin, what happened?" or "You have lost way too much weight, it doesn't suit you at all!" or "You've grown fat since I last saw you" - CUT THAT SH*T!!
Also, you don't have to comment on other people's fashion preferences; if you don't want to wear skinny jeans or leoprints or bright neon colors or cheap shoes or wheaver, well, you are not obliged to do so, but let other people wear whatever they want and just LEAVE THEM ALONE.
Stretch Marks
I felt my legs while laying in bed today and felt like they were smoother than usual. This hit me strangely because i remember always feeling the unique stretch marks that have permanently adorned my skin. After spending my preteen and teen years afraid to get in the pool or wear booty shorts, its weird that now that ive finally made peace with my body, my stretch marks are disappearing.
Credit: @unlimitedknowledge on IG
This is facts. I know for a fact this is going to happen again.
"I have not failed, I just found 10,000 ways that did not work"
Thomas Edison
