Fanfic Update - Blog Posts

Whoo!! Chapter 3 is out everyone! 

Chapter Five Archive of Our Own Link 🔗: https://archiveofourown.org/works/63964906/chapters/167008765?view_adult=true

Chapter Three Archive of Our Own Link 🔗: https://archiveofourown.org/works/63964906/chapters/165188986?view_adult=true

Chapter Five Archive of Our Own Link 🔗: https://archiveofourown.org/works/62894770/chapters/163598866

Chapter Four Archive of Our Own Link 🔗: https://archiveofourown.org/works/62894770/chapters/162940264

Chapter Two Archive of Our Own Link 🔗: https://archiveofourown.org/works/62894770/chapters/161628754#workskin

I Am Dazai Ch 11

Oh this one is so cute~! My OC is suffering! <3

I Am Dazai Ch 10

*Asks cutely* Have you ever had thoughts about dying?

I Am Dazai Ch 9

Feast my lovelies!

I Am Dazai Ch 8

This fanfic gave me the chance to release my inner edgelord. Cheers!

I Am Dazai Ch 7

I Am Dazai Ch 6

I'm running out of things to say...

hi

Oh fuck. I forgot to credit the person that did the english translation of Fifteen! Credits to DarkestJay868!

I Am Dazai Ch 6

Update!

I Am Dazai Ch 5

Btw I missed my one year anniversary since starting my fanfiction. Dec 20 if anyone is interested.

I Am Dazai Ch 4

This will take a while. I had to fix the title. Update!

I Am Dazai Ch 3

I finished Ch 3. I haven't done a good job of updating anyone here that I updated my fanfiction so I'm doing all of the updates I forgot to do at once

I am Dazai Ch 2

I updated my second chapter I hope you give it a read!

I have been in a depressive funk for the past few months. Stress has been piling up and I've just shut down instead of dealing with it one at a time. I don't know where to start.

But Update on I Am Dazai:

Okay so I haven't updated my fanfic for three months because I am both reworking the first chapter and adding a new one. I decided to split the first chapter in two parts to add more context and detail to the time "Dazai" spent with Mori. Especially since new details have come to light and now I have to rewrite it. (Aka I read it and didn't like it) I may also rewrite the funeral but don't count on it. Or just rewrite the whole first half.

I don't know. Please be patient with me.

The next chapter after Dazai and Chuuya have defeated Rimbaud... They may or may not eat together at a restaurant. Wounds should be dealt with right away. But food first. Warm food takes priority.

Edit: It has come to my attention that it has only been fifteen days since I last updated, not three months. Time is a construct. I simply lost time. Oh well, revamped first chapter done. Working on the second one.

Cult of the Lamb: Redemption Chapter #5

Y'all, it's been a hot minute, and I've had this chapter done for MONTHS but I completely forgot about it. But uuuuh, happy spooky season, and have some more cotl content!

Also, don't ask me when the next chapters coming out- I've started it, but I'm so busy with college, I have no idea.

Sooo, I know I haven't posted in a while, but I've been pretty busy with life and writing for other fic's that I'm working on, but worry not! The next chapter of Cult of the Lamb: Redemption will be out eventually, I have not abandoned it. I've just been sidetracked. Expect the chapter sometime this weekend hopefully!

Casually getting side-tracked and writing scenes that don't even happen for another two fucking chapters.

Sometimes I just write a sentence or piece of dialogue that I'm like 'no, no, this will work better for a future scene' and instead of just cutting and pasting it somewhere for later, I write the whole scene!?!? And then put that aside for the future.

I mean, it'll be a nice surprise when I get to chapter 6 and already have a whole scene out of the way, but damn. It's delaying the current chapter, and making it hard to stay on task. Cool scenes though... Anyway, the moral of the story, Chapter #5 of Cult of the Lamb Redemption is almost done! So expect it on Ao3 and here soon, homies!

The new chapter for Cult of the Lamb: Redemption is out now guys on Ao3!

There's a part near the beginning where I tried to casually pepper in that Narinder is trans in this story. I didn't want to have a super cliche, 'omg he's trans!' moment because ew. We exist irl guys, we're not exotic animals to be gawked at when you see us in public.

I also mildly gave a slight insight into the state of medical practices in the cult regarding things like top surgery and such. Which I imagine wouldn't be super safe given the lack of tools, and knowledge, and that half the followers (at least on my game) have the messed up desire to eat literal shit and keep getting sick from it, and that kind of takes the focus away from trying to make more important medical discoveries and advancements.

Homies, Miki is holding this place together with nothing but her vague knowledge of medicine from reading like, four books about it and several years of seeing what works and what kills people, lol.

Anyway! Enjoy the new chapter guys, see you at 8:30 when I post again!

Cult of the Lamb: Redemption: Chapter #4 Preview

(Thoughts & opinions are welcome as always! Be nice, and enjoy.)

Realizations - Narinder

Narinder is not a poet. Not a writer, or a master of words.

So it is no surprise that Lamb's confession stunned him into silence.

"And I wanted you to care so much, but you didn't."

How is he supposed to care if he didn't fucking know? That's not fair of them to hold that against him. It's not fair for them to act like some heartbroken beau that he led on, and then tossed aside.

And then they had the audacity to leave before he could even find a way to respond.

He supposes a part of him is relieved they're not kneeling in front of him anymore while he's trying to sort through his thoughts.

They cared about him. What does that even mean? In the context of a god and a follower?

He thinks he knows exactly what Lamb means, but he'll be damned if he just assumes...

He tries to look back and pinpoint the moments that could give him some kind of hint, or insight into what they mean. Moments that he somehow missed the first time around.

But looking back, all of his memories feel hazy.

Like a terrible, violent fever dream of being so angry, in pain, waiting... Then the betrayal. Every time they try and think back on moments with the Lamb they are greeted by that moment.

When they refused to give the Red Crown back, and instead chose to raise their blade to him.

And every time he is reminded of that moment, he is filled with this cold, dead weight in his chest that he wants to call rage but he knows it's something different.

Hurt.

And hurt made him angry.

Why did it hurt so much? Because he let himself become fond of the wretched beast, he tells himself. He grew attached, even though he knew exactly how things were meant to end.

But they didn't end that way, did they? And now here he is. Alone.

Looking down at his bandages, he can still feel the cooling, refreshing sensation of the medical salve, easing the soreness of his wounds. It didn't help at all with the cramping in his muscles, or aching in his bones, causing the horrible shaking throughout his limbs.

But a feeling that trumps the cramping, or the cooling of the medicine are the traces... The traces of Lamb's touch linger all over his body. His arms, around his ankles, his back and torso. Everywhere he tries to focus his attention he feels them.

Such light, careful care, embedded all over him deeper than the injuries left by his chains.

It had made him forget how angry he was, and say things he shouldn't have... Feel things he shouldn't have.

~~~

Well, guys, this chapter is going to be a doozy. I've decided to attempt to speed things up a slight bit, so there are some cute moments that I hope y'all will enjoy.

The full chapter will be posted tomorrow at 4:00 pm on Ao3 and at 8:30 pm to 9:00 pm, here on Tumblr.

Homies, I've been listening to Conan Gray's 'The Cut That Always Bleeds' on repeat for hours while finishing up the writing for chapter #4 of Cult of the Lamb: Redemption. And can I just say, that even though not all the lyrics fit perfectly with my story, this song radiates angsty Narilamb vibes.

It's also one of my favorite Conan Gray songs, so 10 out of 10, would highly recommend it.

Cult of the Lamb: Redemption - Chapter #3 Preview

(Thoughts, opinions, & critiques are welcomed! Be nice!)

Patience - Lamb

Words hurt.

The Lamb knew this. They've seen the way words cut.

The way they stun people, leave them speechless, and then send the world crashing down on them in one swift, and lethal blow.

But they've never felt it themselves until now.

They never wanted things to turn out like this. They never asked for this... They just wanted to live. To be happy. To be free.

But now?

They have the weight of everything they've built on their shoulders. They want to keep their cult safe. Their followers, and friends- dare they say, family.

They want to keep them happy, and well.

So when The One Who- Narinder... When he demanded they...

After everything they've been through, with the scar on their neck proof of their first execution, he demanded that they go through it again? And Lamb so foolishly...

Perhaps they were naive from the start to have trusted him. To have thought that in comparison to the other gods of the land that had ordered the genocide of his kind... He was... Better.

Naive to think that Narinder was different. A good god, locked away by the evil ones, and that they were some kind of shining lamb knight, meant to free him, and restore peace... It was such a childish idea.

Narinder had been no better than the Bishops. Just desperate for power, no matter how much blood was spilled to get it.

They had thought that maybe in the end, if they had spared him, he would...

They feel so stupid.

Standing outside of Narinder's shelter, back against the wall, and hand over their slammed-shut eyes, trying to stop the tears.

The former god of death would never change. He is still just so angry.

~~~

"Be patient, Lamb. He's spent so long festering in his rage, and it is going to take a long time for him to learn how to live a life without it." Ratau pat their shoulder after a long game of knucklebones that they ultimately lost.

They have spent more than half of it complaining about the feline ex-god and the hell he had given them over simply eating.

"I'm trying, but it's me! He hates me! He's never going to understand why I did what I did or that I... That I actually do care about..." Him.

That they care about him.

He had been their savior. Giving them a second chance, and a third, and fourth, and fifth. Every time they died during a crusade, he was there. To greet them, and bring them back.

Sometimes they would talk. Narinder would listen to them, give advice, laugh at their jokes...

They thought he cared... They had certainly cared. They cared so, so much.

The One Who Waits was one of the only beings who truly understood what they were going through. He had been kind to them...

~~~

It was all a facade though. They see that now. Or, hell, perhaps they had just been delusional. Perhaps it was always just a one-sided illusion, them thinking the world of someone who truly hadn't cared at all.

Perhaps they shouldn't have spared him.

Saved them both the agony they're in now...

~~~

This chapter is definitely a longer one guys, so I hope you enjoy this preview! Expect angst, mixed emotions, and a heart-wrenching confession. The full chapter will be posted tomorrow on Ao3 at noon and here on Tumblr at 8:30ish pm. Hope to see you then folks.

Chapter #2 of my fanfiction, Cult of the Lamb: Redemption is out now on Ao3! Half an hour early too! It's Rooney_2108, and the full chapter will be out here on Tumblr tonight around 8:30ish pm. Narinder is still in pain and says some mean things. Lamb is also, no longer having a good time. Hope you all enjoy reading!

Cult of the Lamb: Redemption - Chapter #2 Preview

(Thoughts and opinions are welcome - be nice!)

Guilt - Narinder

Perhaps it was naive of him to think he could tolerate the pain.

Turning over onto his back is a motion that now that he's done, he thought he knew what to expect. But instead, the pain is just as piercing as before.

Still, he's able to push through it.

The idea of using his arms to push himself up, however?

He's tried twice now, and each time, his arms have cramped up, shaking violently as he falls back into place. His wrists are the worst, and he doesn't need to open his eyes to know there's scaring marring the fur around them.

He's sure it looks as awful as it feels.

No. Perhaps it feels worse. He can get over what it looks like, but this pain... He's not sure when it's going to stop. If it ever will.

What he is sure of is that he isn't letting it beat him. He tolerated the pain of his chains and being trapped in place for long enough. He will no longer let the phantoms of his torment hold him down.

Even if it means suffering with every movement he makes.

And damn, does he suffer.

He tries to use his legs, to push himself up and take some weight off his arms, but much to his dismay, his legs are in no better condition. Still, he persists.

His whole body is shaking by the time he shoves himself back up against the wall, in some semblance of a sitting position. He is damn near breathless and wants nothing more than to go back to sleep again and deal with his hunger later.

But he's worked too hard to give up now. Opening his eyes, it is dark in the room, the only light coming from the window to his right. It's just enough sunlight to make his eyes water, so he turns his head to the left.

The mixed meal is on the nightstand just next to the bed, and easily within arm's reach. He takes a long moment to relax before attempting to grab the food.

He's dizzy from his efforts.

He should try to organize his thoughts, but the task seems even more impossible than moving.

He was chained for centuries. Found a Lamb to kill the Bishops- his siblings, and free him. The Lamb kills the Bishops. The Lamb proceeds not tofree him but defeats him instead and steals his crown. They spare his life rather than kill him. Then force him to join their cult as a mere follower.

There is... A lot to unpack there.

Thinking about it all still brings forth an overwhelming surge of emotions that he's still not ready to face.

But what other option does he have? When he was chained, all he could do was boil and fester with rage. Plotting his vengeance, waiting.

Waiting.

Always. Fucking. Waiting.

~~~

Enjoy this preview of chapter #2, it will be out tomorrow on Ao3 at noon, and on Tumblr around 8:30. (I even set an alarm so I won't forget this time!)

Chapter #1 of my fanfiction, Cult of the Lamb: Redemption is out now on my Ao3 account! It's Rooney_2108, and the full chapter will be out here on Tumblr tonight around 8:30pm. Narinder is not having a great time, guys, but it gets better. Slowly and painfully, it gets better. Enjoy dinner pookies.