Sex Ed - Blog Posts

CSE Post 1/2

The war on sex education is a heinous action that deliberately works to keep teenagers uninformed and without the resources necessary to make informed decisions. 

The below text is from a pamphlet handed out by my grandma’s church to get their members to attend school board meetings to block Sex education. 

Growing up queer without the words to express myself has caused so much pain and suffering. Please stand up against this.

15 Harmful Elements of CSE COMPREHENSIVE SEX EDUCATION THE HARMFUL EFFECT ON CHILDREN The following are 15 harmful elements typically found in CSE curricula. Since each of these 15 harmful elements has the potential of causing long-term negative effects on the health and well-being of children, having even one of these elements should be reason enough to disqualify a program from being taught to children. A program containing several of these elements should be banned from use in any school or community setting. 1. SEXUALIZES CHILDREN Normalizes child sex or desensitizes children to sexual things. May give examples of children having sex or imply many of their peers are sexually active. May glamorize sex, use graphic materials, teach explicit sexual vocabulary, or encourage discussion of sexual experiences, attractions, fantasies or desires. 2. TEACHES CHILDREN TO CONSENT TO SEX May teach children how to negotiate sexual encounters or how to ask for or get "consent" from other children to engage in sexual acts with them. Note: "Consent" is often taught under the banner of sexual abuse prevention. While this may be appropriate for adults, children of minor age should never be encouraged to "consent" to sex. 3. NORMALIZES ANAL & ORAL SEX Normalizes these high-risk sexual behaviors and may omit vital medical facts, such as the extremely high STI infection rates (i.e., HIV and HPV) and the oral and anal cancer rates of these high-risk sex acts. 4. PROMOTES HOMOSEXUAL / BISEXUAL BEHAVIOR Normalizes or promotes acceptance or exploration of diverse sexual orientations, sometimes in violation of state education laws. May omit vital health information and/or may provide medically inaccurate information about homosexuality or homosexual sex. 5. PROMOTES SEXUAL PLEASURE Teaches children they are entitled to or have a "right" to sexual pleasure or encourages children to seek out sexual pleasure. Fails to present data on the multiple negative potential outcomes for sexually active children. 6. PROMOTES SOLO AND/OR MUTUAL MASTURBATION While masturbation can be part of normal child development, encourages masturbation at young ages, which may make children more vulnerable to pornography use, sexual addictions or sexual exploitation. May instruct children on how to masturbate. May also encourage children to engage in mutual masturbation. 7. PROMOTES CONDOM USE IN INAPPROPRIATE WAYS May inappropriately eroticize condom use (e.g., emphasizing sexual pleasure or "fun" with condoms) or use sexually explicit methods (i.e., penis and vagina models, seductive role plays, etc.) to promote condom use to children. May provide medically inaccurate information on condom effectiveness and omit or deemphasize failure rates. May imply that condoms will provide complete protection against pregnancy or STIs.

CSE post 2/2

The below text is from a pamphlet handed out by my grandma’s church to get their members to attend school board meetings to block Sex education. 

Needless to say this is bad and will cause so much harm.

8. PROMOTES EARLY SEXUAL AUTONOMY Teaches children they can choose to have sex when they feel they are ready or when they find a trusted partner. Fails to provide data about the well-documented negative consequences of early sexual debut. Fails to encourage sexually active children to return to abstinence. 9. FAILS TO ESTABLISH ABSTINENCE AS THE EXPECTED STANDARD Fails to establish abstinence (or a return to abstinence) as the expected standard for all school-age children. May mention abstinence only in passing. May teach children that all sexual activity-other than "unprotected" vaginal and oral sex- is acceptable, and even healthy. May present abstinence and "protected" sex as equally good options for children. 10. PROMOTES TRANSGENDER IDEOLOGY Promotes affirmation of and/or exploration of diverse gender identities. May teach children they can change their gender or identify as multiple genders, or may present other unscientific and medically inaccurate theories. Fails to teach that most gender-confused children resolve their confusion by adulthood and that extreme gender confusion is a mental health disorder (gender dysphoria) that can be helped with mental health intervention. 11. PROMOTES CONTRACEPTION / ABORTION TO CHILDREN Presents abortion as a safe or positive option while omitting data on the many potential negative physical and mental health consequences. May teach children they have a right to abortion and refer them to abortion providers. May encourage the use of contraceptives, while failing to present failure rates or side effects. 12. PROMOTES PEER-TO-PEER SEX ED OR SEXUAL RIGHTS ADVOCACY May train children to teach other children about sex or sexual pleasure, through peer-to-peer initiatives. May recruit children as spokespeople to advocate for controversial sexual rights (including a right to CSE itself or to promote abortion. 13. UNDERMINES TRADITIONAL VALUES AND BELIEFS May encourage children to question their parents' beliefs or their cultural or religious values regarding early sex, sexual orientation or gender identity. 14. UNDERMINES PARENTS OR PARENTAL RIGHTS May instruct children they have rights to confidentiality and privacy from their parents. May teach children about accessing sexual commodities or services, including abortion, without parental consent. May instruct children not to tell their parents what they are being taught about sex in school. 15. REFERS CHILDREN TO HARMFUL RESOURCESRefers children to harmful websites, materials or outside entities. May also specifically refer children to Planned Parenthood or their affiliates or partners for their lucrative services or commodities (i.e., sexual counseling, condoms, contraceptives, gender hormones, STI testing and treatment, abortions, etc.) Please Note: A conflict of interest exists whenever an entity that profits from sexualizing children is involved in creating or implementing sex education programs. (For more information on how Planned Parenthood sexualizes children for profit see www.WaronChildren.org and www.InvestigateIPPF.org)

Yesssss new resource. New things to learn. Add this to the knowledge hoard.

AWESOME SEX-ED

Ok it has just occurred to me that probably not everyone knows about my favorite sex-ed resource, Scarleteen! They have loads of great articles with information about sex, birth control, etc. They also have ways for you to ask questions that you want answered!

They have articles on everything from having sex as a disabled person, a fat person, and/or an intersex person to how to get FREE birth control as a minor(!!!) asexuality 101 and so much more!!

This is an awesome resource and my go-to when I want to know something about sex, I highly recommend it for anyone with questions/curiosities about sex, and while it's largely teen focused, there will be something here that's helpful for just about anyone!

When I started writing this post I was just going to include a couple articles... but I found so many I like so here are a bunch that may be helpful under the cut (Disclaimer: I have not read all of them because there are so many, nor am I in every group of people they're about, for example I'm not intersex or disabled, so I can't speak to the accuracy of all of them, but I've generally found Scarleteen to be pretty reliable.)

The articles I've included are mostly less typical stuff and things I think are super important but not talked about enough, if you're looking for more basic sex-ed just going to their website will get you started.

Tagging a couple accounts on here who do sex-ed stuff incase they want to reblog (No pressure though <3) @certifiedsexed @batmanisagatewaydrug

ALSO APPARENTLY SCARLETEEN IS ON TUMBLR??? @hellyeahscarleteen amazing.

Anatomy

Quickies: Sexual Anatomy | Scarleteen

With Pleasure: A View of Whole Sexual Anatomy for Every Body | Scarleteen

Intersex stuff

(Inter)sex and Relationships | Scarleteen (A series of articles by an intersex person)

Supporting Your Intersex Child Through Puberty | Scarleteen

Trans stuff

Supports for Trans Youth and Their Families (and a few words for everybody else) | Scarleteen

It's a Trap: How to Spot Anti-Trans Resources | Scarleteen

Self-Care Amidst a Deluge of Anti-Trans Legislation | Scarleteen

Transmasculine Flow: Let's Talk Periods | Scarleteen

Welcome to Trans Summer School! | Scarleteen (At the top there's a drop down that says "This piece is part of Trans Summer School" which shows you all of the articles)

The Lowdown on Low-Dose Testosterone | Scarleteen

Finding Our Own Voices: Renée Yoxon and Gender-Affirming Vocal Therapy | Scarleteen

Some Books and Balms for Nonbinary Folks | Scarleteen

Fatness

Fat Bodies: Learning to Care for Your Rolls and Folds | Scarleteen

The Confidence of Fat Sexuality: An interview with sex educator Elle Chase | Scarleteen

Disability stuff

Disabled Sex: Sex for Two (or More) | Scarleteen

Wheelchair, Bound? Kink and Disability | Scarleteen

Consent Is Sexy: Sexual Autonomy and Disability | Scarleteen

We Need to Talk About Sex and ADHD | Scarleteen

Body Talk: Listening To and Learning From Your Chronic Pain | Scarleteen

A Disabled Persons Guide to Talking with Your Partner(s) About Sex | Scarleteen

Sex and Parent Caregivers | Scarleteen

Disabled Sex Yes! | Scarleteen

I really want to have sex, but I don't know how, and I'm queer, chronically ill and isolated. | Scarleteen

Birth control

Getting Birth Control May Be Easier Than You Think! | Scarleteen (Aka how to get FREE BIRTH CONTROL as a MINOR. Not just for the USA but also Australia, Canada, India, New Zealand, South Africa, and the UK)

How to Manage Pain with IUD Insertions | Scarleteen (Not even just about pain, super in-depth helpful guide)

Other

F*c&!ng First Aid: A Quick Guide to Common Sex Injuries | Scarleteen

From OW! to WOW! Demystifying Painful Intercourse | Scarleteen

Sex after rape. Where do I begin? | Scarleteen

Becoming Out: a totally non-exhaustive, step by step guide to coming out | Scarleteen

Your PMDD Primer: A Necessary Guide to an Under Researched Disorder | Scarleteen

Crisis Pregnancy Centers: Harm, Not Help | Scarleteen

Just the Basics, Ace: An Asexuality Primer | Scarleteen

Sex stuff you probably won’t learn from fanfiction and/or porn:

Erotic fic and porn can be a lot of fun! But if you aren’t being provided with adequate sex ed through other channels (comprehensive sexual education, frank and open discussions with trusted adults, etc.), turning to fanfic and porn for your understanding of sex is gonna leave some major blindspots and may leave you with some unrealistic expectations. While there’s nothing wrong with these kinds of erotica, they are fictional and tend to leave out a lot of the more realistic, human parts of sex - they serve a great purpose, but that purpose isn’t primarily educational. The following is an incomplete list of some things you should probably know about sex that a lot of fic and porn tends to leave out:

It isn’t always super hot or super sweet. Sometimes it’s super silly. Or sometimes it’s sort of mundane and you’re both simply scratching an itch. That’s fine too. (Hell, sometimes you’re talking about comic books while boning and your partner is laughing that you’re getting REALLY ANGRY about spider-man while they’re going to town on you.)

You will probably not climax at the same moment. It’s a sweet idea, but extremely hard to coordinate, and if all your concentration is going into coming at the exact same moment, you’re probably not enjoying yourselves as much as you might. 

Sometimes bodies make weird, goofy noises. Squelching, slapping, air-escaping, un-sexy noises. It’s okay to laugh at this. 

Hell, it’s okay to laugh during sex in general.

Sometimes you fart. Sometimes you fart while someone is going down on you and it is embarrassing as hell. This isn’t the end of the world. Embarrassing body things happen. Heck, sometimes, with anal, there’s a little poo. You get over it.

Sometimes sex is… kinda bad? This doesn’t mean it’s assault, or something traumatic – sometimes it’s consensual but just kinda bleh and not what you hoped for. The best thing to do (if you’re talking about sex with a partner and not just a hook up who you can not call back) is talk to them about it. Figure out what went wrong, what you enjoy and what you don’t, and communicate what techniques you do and don’t like. Also don’t be afraid to stop someone in the middle of the sex act you’re not enjoying and offer guidance on how to help make it good for you too. (Side tip: masturbation makes great research into what you personally do and don’t enjoy sexually)

You won’t enjoy every sex act. Not every body is wired to find every thing pleasurable. You might find anal does nothing for you. You may find g-spot stimulation just makes you really anxious that you’re about to pee. You may not enjoy giving or receiving oral. You’re not broken if you don’t like something that every pornstar or smutty fanfic protagonist seems to have earth-shattering orgasms from. Everyone’s got nerve endings in a range of places – it’s quite literally, different strokes for different folks.

On that note, not all orgasms are earth-shattering. Sometimes it just feels warm and nice. That’s fine too. 

Sometimes, if you’re neutral on a sex act and your partner loves it, you can suck it up for them, and they’ll suck up something they’re not crazy about for your pleasure in return. But communicate preferences with each other! Know that when a partner does that thing you love that they don’t get much from, that it’s an act of care, and vice versa. 

Falling asleep in each other’s arms right after wild passionate sex seems really romantic, but dried and crusty fluids are gonna be a bitch in the morning. Also, after sex, you should both (regardless of your equipment) go pee to clear out the urethra of any gunk or bacteria to reduce risk of a UTI. 

Putting a towel down on the bed before sex means you don’t have to sleep on wet funky sheets. (it’s also verrrrrry useful for period sex if you or your partner menstruate.)

A lot of people don’t like dirty talk, or rough sex. Always ask first. (Fanfic on the whole does a better job than porn at showing communication, but a lot of it is still highly fictive on this point)

PROTECTION PROTECTION PROTECTION. Use condoms, dental dams, etc. not just to prevent pregnancy, but to reduce risk of STIs. (Yes, even couples with the same genitals who don’t need to worry about pregnancy).

Lube is great and very important, but random goopy things around you are not good lube. Random oils especially, since oil doesn’t flush out well and can trap bacteria inside the body – oil-based lubricant also degrades condoms. Use lube specifically designed for intimate purposes. Water-based and silicone-based lubes help sex feel really good!

Bigger isn’t necessarily better. A lot of people with vaginas don’t enjoy the feeling of being repeatedly punched in the cervix by a monster cock. Some people enjoy a larger size when being penetrated by an appendage or toy and some don’t.

Bodies are hairy. Genitals are hairy. You may get a pube stuck in your teeth at some point. If your partner is WAY fuzzier than porn ever led you to believe they’d be, well, that’s normal. 

Not everyone loves the taste of ejaculate. Sometimes it’s nasty (flavor tends to vary from person to person depending on their diet, but sometimes you just really don’t like it no matter what. Some of us hate the taste of peanut butter. People don’t always like things). It’s okay not to swallow, or to request a penis-having partner warn you so they don’t ejaculate in your mouth (in fact, it’s polite for them to do the latter). 

If you’re gonna have shower sex, get one of those rubbery mats for the shower floor that gives you traction, because otherwise it’s super embarrassing to call for an ambulance while dripping wet and naked because you slipped and accidentally broke something and your partner got a concussion while you were trying to bang in the shower. 

Moaning and screaming wildly during sex is fun but it will make the neighbors in the apartments adjacent to you hate you. Make choices accordingly. 

This won’t make your blog look ugly. How could you not reblog this? REBLOGGING THIS COULD SAVE A LIFE!!!

Grade 1 Students in Grade 1 will be taught the proper names for body parts – something child-abuse investigators have long urged. They will also learn how to recognize non-verbal signals, such as facial expressions and tone of voice, to better communicate with others. Grade 2 In Grade 2, students will learn about bodily changes and development, verbal and physical violence, and the concept that “no means no.” Grades 3-4 Grade 3 students will learn about same-sex relationships, while the physical, emotional and social impacts of puberty will move from Grade 5 to Grade 4. Grades 5-6 In Grade 5, students will continue learning about puberty, including menstruation and spermatogenesis, and how these processes relate to reproduction. Students in Grade 6 will learn about masturbation and “gender expression.” They will also be educated on how to build healthy relationships and consent. Grades 7-8 In Grades 7-8, students will learn about the dangers of “sexting.” They will also discuss contraception, anal and oral sex, and ways to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. Grades 9-10 Teaching materials on mental health, previously relegated to older grades, will be introduced in Grade 9. Grade 9 students will also explore gender identity, sexual orientation and the resources available for support. In Grade 10, students will continue to learn what factors influence sexual decision-making, including personal values, peer and family expectations, and media messages. Under the current sex education program, Grades 9 and 10 students focus on promoting healthy sexuality, preventing sexually transmitted infections, and identifying the stages of sexuality. Grades 11-12 Similarly to the existing program, students in Grades 11 and 12 will focus on how to use decision-making skills to create healthy relationships. They will also learn about reducing the stigma around mental illness, and taking proactive health measures.

Ontario Sex Education update (http://www.thestar.com/news/canada/2015/02/23/what-ontarios-students-will-learn-with-the-updated-sex-education-curriculum.html)

Do you understand how fantastic this is? Sex Ed has not been changed since the time that I was born and now we’re going to be have education on gender identities, sexual orientations are going to be taught from a young age on the importance of consent and the enforcement of how “no is no”. Older students are going to be learning about mental health and how to reduce the stigma around it.  This is not the training of “abstinence is key”.  Take note America

(via cancelledwednesdays)

Well this is absolutely wonderful.  This is how sex ed should be taught.

(via lady-feral)

This won’t make your blog look ugly. How could you not reblog this? REBLOGGING THIS COULD SAVE A LIFE!!!

#NoMoreFakeDom/mes2016

“I’m the Dom/me, that’s why.” RED.

“I don’t have to discuss my behavior with you because I am allowed to do whatever I want.” RED.

“If you were a good sub, you wouldn’t have (so many) limits.” RED.

“If you were a good sub, you wouldn’t need a safeword.” RED.

“I don’t do warm ups.” RED.

“I don’t do aftercare.” RED.

“I am a Dom/me and therefore infallible.” RED.

Only YOU can prevent our community from douchebags masquerading as fake Dom/mes. Won’t you help 2016 be the last year for fake Dom/mes?

“There’s definitely a small banana joke in there somewhere...”

-My teacher, to a student, after she explained how we’d be putting condoms on bananas and he said he might as well put it on the real thing

IT IS TRULY TERRIFYING what we are and are not teaching children about sex

Watch: John Oliver’s sex ed video needs to be shown in every American school 

genuinely so fucking tired of people leveraging the "groomer" argument against people who support sex ed because scientific literature over decades shows that comprehensive sex education starting around kindergarten actually prevents children from being sexually abused and groomed because it teaches children the correct words for their body parts and also teaches them concepts of privacy, personal space, bodily autonomy, the difference between appropriate and inappropriate touching, and the fact that sex is something that only adults do. children with this knowledge are not only better equipped to identify abuse and predatory behavior and communicate that its happening to a trusted adult, but also prevent it from happening in the first place by recognizing when something is happening that shouldn't.

sex education does not sexualize children, it prevents children from being sexualized. anyone who is against early foundational sex education and claims they are doing it to protect children is a fucking liar.

We watched a sex ed show in the 7th grade. This show played during lunch. One of the episodes just flashed a bunch of different (REAL) adult penises in our faces.

The trauma of it turned me into a lesbian, I came out two years later.

Why are you lgbtq+? wrong answers only GO

I wish kinky sex ed wasn't so stigmatized even among left-leaning "sex positive" circles. Everyone's all "uwu I'm a sub I'll do anything you ask" okay mommy wants you to read The New Bottoming Book so you learn how to sub without hurting yourself since your sex ed up to this point is porn and your ex boyfriend Jared who liked to choke you incorrectly