Steb My Beloved - Blog Posts

World's Classiest fish

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maybe i should put golf balls in my pockets so i can hurl them at drivers who feel like theyre brave for taking the left turn while there's pedestrians crossing.

That was me. My bad bro

steb when he sees the comment section of an edit:

(yall KNOW that ima wear ts out in public)

Steb headcanon post dedicated to me cause it's my birthday <3333

🩷🩷 My personal hcs 🩷🩷

He is so strict with having good health he will make sure to brush his teeth twice a night, floss, sleep (as best he can), eat nutritious food on a regular basis (again, as best he can), etc etc to the point where you can look into books about good life habits and it's literally just him

Though he tries to do things the proper way, he doesn't actually like hanging out with others outside of work (or even during work) and finds it hard to have friendly facial expressions. This, of course, makes him seem ruder than he actually is. Man rarely smiles (nobody knows if he even can smile) and hardly interacts much less talks to others unless they do so first. Even then, he'll make those interactions brief because people usually try to strike up a conversation while Steb and them are supposed to be focused on their work. If it's during their break then. . . yeah lol they'll still be curt interactions

He prefers being on his own, but he tries not to isolate himself because he knows it's important to be around people and socialize (even if he doesn't want to). Part of the reason he doesn't like socializing with others is because he is such a stickler for having certain behaviors and most others either don't or they are too up-tight for his liking. Just because he likes to do things the proper way doesn't mean he wants to socialize with snobby people that claim to be "proper". It makes him feel like he's at work interacting with superiors and in those cases he'd rather be alone than interact with people like that.

You can pry instructional materials out of his cold dead hands—whether it's cooking instructions, assembly instructions, procedures, etc etc he will follow them to the T. He will use those instructions that come with furniture. He's not the type of man to think it's a hit to his ego if he looks at instructions and in fact judges those who do.

Speaking of cooking, he's a mediocre cook. He would be worse, but following instructions helps him not be so bad. The food is good enough to eat and live off of, but it doesn't have enough oomph because his need to stick to cooking instructions can only go so far in making good food and he lacks natural cooking talent. Since he lives alone and he doesn't mind the mediocrity of the food, he doesn't make a great effort to be better. He'll get better with time, but it's not by much unless he gets a romantic partner or someone else who would possibly rely on his cooking skills. (He'll never be a chef though)

He will review training procedures on a regular basis and does his best to learn from each mistake he makes. Each year he has to do mandatory re-training, he makes sure to take it seriously and doesn't assume that he already knows his stuff. In his mind, the annual training is mandatory for a reason (which is true).

Surprisingly tolerant. He'll judge you over your bad habits, but he does his best to have an even temper. It will take a LOT before he loses his temper and when he does he ends up scolding himself over it. Losing your temper, in his opinion, is never a good thing as intense emotions can lead to irrational decisions/actions you may regret later.

Adding on to the previous bullet point, he refuses to lose his cool or raise to the bait when interacting with criminals/delinquents. It's a part of enforcer training that you have to keep a cool head and deescalate a situation as best you can before resorting to violence and threats. As a medic, he knows the importance of keeping your cool in dangerous/intense situations and, as an enforcer, why one needs to make quick observations without bias. Different law breakers will react differently and require different de-escalation methods which is why—

He gets annoyed being paired with someone who thinks being an enforcer means they can do no wrong compared to a criminal and have power trips over capturing a rowdy individual. Not only is it improper police conduct to not properly attempt to deescalate a situation, but it can cause unnecessary harm with an officer escalating a situation to the point of shooting a criminal or a criminal lashing out violently.

Despite others clowning on him for it, he will treat criminals with dignity and refuses to manhandle the criminal no matter how annoying/frustrating the criminal is. This mindset of his came about from hostage training and the motivations behind someone taking a person or group of people hostage. Law breakers may not be the best people, but they're people too and there are reasons why some (nearly all, if not all) people resort to crime. That and he never personally liked to use his power to hurt people—he's a medic after all.

He believes that the duty of an enforcer is to, yes, enforce the law, but also to protect the people. His desire to protect others comes first before anything. He doesn't like to cause harm which is why his main form of weapon is tonfas/batons. He knows how to use more violent weapons, but he'll rarely actually have those weapons on a day to day basis. While others during training were excited to use guns, he wasn't and only focused on the learning aspect of it.

In his trainee days, he was considered a bit annoying for always wanting to get things done the right way and trying to correct the mistakes of others. He did so only to help them (and because he didn't want morons to be in the police force), but there weren't many people who shared his dedication to do things by the book. Nowadays, he won't necessarily correct other's mistakes unless they are under his wing or the mistakes they made were serious.

Throughout his entire career, he is infamous for being a strict rule book follower and it disappoints him that others are so lax while on duty. He's disgusted/annoyed by those who aren't at attention while on guard duty because it only takes a moment of distraction for something horrible to happen.

CW: the FREAKIEST, nastiest, unnecessarily sexual text that has ever been created

beware BEWAREEEEEE

have caution!!!!!

I want his shrimp dick

Okay!

Vampire Steb can take all the blood he wants from me idc <3

let the fangs sink in

Fis = Stb

Steb Doodle Dump <3

+ Spotify playlists based off Steb & his parents!!1!2!!1!2!1!1!1!

(I hate the sketches but trust they WILLLLLL look awesome if I ever get round to finishing them)

Queenfish, the cutest, romanticist, most healthiest ship to exist <33333

But as a Shape of Water AU!!!!

Mel is still mute in the AU and Steb doesn't speak human language—silent fishy love <333

(their ship name is Goldfish which suits them more than Queenfish and I am literally the only one to call them Queenfish but idc RAA)

More under cut:

Mermaid Steb!!!!!!

✓^w^)√

I really wanted to draw a mermaid but then I lost motivation cause I was supposed to be doing hw

(which I haven't done yet & my math midterm is THIS Saturday)

Steb as a model 🥰🥰🤭

+ Human!Steb

(Guatemalan/Zaunite doctor mother x black American/Piltovian enforcer father, but their love story is real cute and NAWWWWTTT a simple oppressor x oppressed love story)

[Ignore how awful the sketches look btw I just wanted to sketch them out before I forgot what I wanted to draw]

[Which thank gawd cause I forgot I wanted to draw Human!Steb]

References ⬇️⬇️⬇️

(plus pics from his insta that I'm too lazy to look for again)

Capturing a Fish Out in the Cold:

a collection of Steb drawn on foggy car windows without me looking at a single reference of Steb even though I clearly needed to

I LOVE THAT GUY BRO

I LOVVE THAT GUYYYY

I NEED TO EAT HIM

Bonus:

*me writing Viktor's name in the snow cause I love Viktor and really really really realllllyyyy want him to use what little strength he has to manhandle me*

I am more than willing to have a kid with both go ahead and congratulate me on my 10+ kids—what should their names be guys 🥰🥰??

I love having eyes <3333

I think he does the cat thing where their third eyelid is still visible when you wake them up from a deep sleep

The sleeping mask is an absolutely wonderful addition to the Steb nation by @lilly-townshend I HAD to include it