Writer Confession - Blog Posts

reaching that point in my fictional universe where my characters are getting older and things are starting to change within their dynamic/lives <<<<

they’re becoming *gasps loudly* adults with responsibilities😭😭😭

i’ve reached what i’m calling ‘the beginning of the end’ of this specific group dynamic in my universe aka the halfway point of my journey to writing book six and i’m kind of losing my mind??? i did not anticipate it being this hard???😭

over 103,000 words written and i’m still only about 60% through book 3…… that’s what i get for being a representative of the thicc book committee

it might also have something to do with the fact that i have nine main characters, tons of important side characters and plots, and lore that runs deeper than a rabbit hole but idk

just changed my already published book covers for a fourth time

just tried to outline future chapters and my brain nearly short circuited. my creative mind is not meant to be confined to the chains of bullet points and organization she simply isn’t

does it take anyone else a good minute to get immersed into their fictional world before you can start writing for the day?

like i need to sit in front of my computer with nothing but tumbleweed passing in my brain for at least an hour before i can really lock in.

especially after a solid writing break. i need to re-read the most recent scene i’ve written at least ten times to bring myself back into the character’s mind and feelings

about a quarter through writing the first draft for the third book in my series!

it’s been my fav book to write so far because of all the storylines i have planned, but it’s also been the most complicated to write for the same reason😭

there’s just so much that has to happen — between the main storyline *and* the side plot that it’s literally making my brain feel like this: 🫠

it’s so fun yet so stressful at the same time but hey i love writing!!!!!!😁

being a romance writer has truly warped my perception of love and romance irl in a sense that i have *such* high standards and expectations of what i want in a relationship.

i want a love that sweeps me off my feet and nothing less! it’s too bad basic romance feels like some unattainable holy grail these days🫠

where are the men who yearn and court??? where are they????????!!!!!!!!!

on a more positive writing note — have any of you ever re-read something you wrote and think to yourself:

“okay, i lowkey ate that.”

i’ll be the first to admit i have😭 and that’s a great thing! i’m so used to downplaying myself with self deprecating humor that i’ve forgotten it’s ok to actually be proud of myself for something

does anyone else struggle with making their characters imperfect? or making them have imperfect moments? i find myself scared to do that sometimes. i blame cancel culture😭

the ones that truly do have hearts of gold, anyway. there are a few of my characters that do deserve a couple lashings.

maybe i’m the problem? i tend to care too much what people think sometimes.

very hard to convince myself i still love writing when i’m fighting the urge to throw myself off a mountain while i edit my work🫠

does anyone have any tips or ideas for getting your writing out there? pls & thx it’s rough in these indie author streets🙏

kind of alarming how all the thriller/horror story ideas i’ve gotten have come from dreams/nightmares i’ve had😁 it pays to have a twisted, fucked up mind.

i’ve never written a thriller/horror story so i’m very excited to further explore the genre one day. i totally haven’t already written a few test pieces/scenes.

god, if you all could take a peek into my writing ideas folder😭 pure chaos. idk how to simply focus on one thing at a time. i’m like an overzealous dog with the writing zoomies.

not to be deep, but i can’t help but feel like i’ve somehow found my way back home when it comes to writing. i loved it when i was a kid, and i’ve fallen in love with it all over again as a young adult.

there are *so* many things that have happened in my life that make me look back and wonder if those things were meant to lead me right back here. to writing.

like for example, when i was a freshman in high school, this guy told me i looked like my name would be: Sabrina. he would literally call me by that name even though it wasn’t my name😭

fast forward years later to me naming my book characters, specifically my main character who is somewhat based on me, so i’m essentially naming myself in a weird way.

i was thinking and thinking and thinking, and then i remembered that guy from high school who’d call me Sabrina. and voila, i had her name. and it fits her so well too!

idk maybe i’m crazy haha but it really is things like that that make me wonder if maybe i am where i’m meant to be after all, no matter how much i feel otherwise sometimes.

shoutout to brandon from high school for my mc name!!!

i’m surprised by how much i *love* writing in third person considering how much i used to dislike reading in third person.

finding my love for writing again has made me appreciate third person writing so much more!!!

third person chapters have become like an exclusive, special pov in my series since 90% of the chapters i write are in the first person pov.

what can i say, i love playing with/switching up pov’s mid story😄 whether it’s including multiple character pov’s in one book or surprising the readers by randomly jumping into a third person pov.

like you know it’s serious if you stumble across a third person pov in one of my books😭 shit is about to go down fr

literally me 75% of the time i write

is this a safe space? i hate writing sex scenes.

that’s like the one thing i try my hardest to include very little of. but it’s hard bc i know some people enjoy reading those scenes when it comes to romance stories specifically, (which is completely fine! no judgement whatsoever!) i just hate writing them😭

i much prefer alluding to it or transitioning into a scene break/cut. but like i said, i know some readers enjoy reading those moments so i force myself to include some crumbs of it. which is fine, i guess. i’ll survive how awkward i feel, no big deal

*knocks on wood* is it weird that i’ve never seriously suffered from writer’s block….

i just feel like i’m constantly seeing other writers talk about how much of a struggle it is for them to even write a sentence, and i’ve just… never had that problem? like i have TOO much to write about to never not know what to write, if that makes sense.

i blame all the premature life experiences i’ve had. maybe that’s what it is since i tend to draw inspiration from personal experiences. all my trauma is finally coming in handy for something omg😭

this is why writing is literally the most *perfect* thing for me. you’re telling me i get to have fun creating characters, romance, and storylines, *and* i get to pour my own personal experiences into my characters and stories in the most therapeutic way???? sign me up for life please!!!!

do any other writers try their hardest to convince themselves they don’t have a favorite character to write or am i the only one burdened by the anchors of denialism

(but if anyone asks, i love all my children equally)

is it bad that one of my favorite characters i’ve written so far just so happens to be one of the most “villainous”?

i use quotations because she’s not necessarily a bad person, she’s just made a lot of awful choices that have led to awful circumstances for her and those around her.

she’s also someone who’s been through a lot. she has a good heart through and through, but i can definitely see some readers disliking her, which is fine!

it’s exactly what i want, actually. i want her to be a character people have mixed feelings about. i want her to be a character you either hate to love, love to hate, or somewhere in between.

funniest part is she was only supposed to be a side character aka the mother of one of my character’s😭

now she’s become my little phoenix rising from the ashes as the catalyst for the biggest scandal in my book series.

the main character before my current main character was the main character. she paved the way fr i cannot wait to write her prologue book one day!

yk what’s crazy is before i found my love for writing again, i used to read books (romance books specifically) and think to myself:

“wow, authors/writers are some of the most creative people out there. to create an entire ensemble of characters and give them such distinct personalities/backgrounds/upbringings, and to create an entire world of storylines for them is truly something magical.”

i used to wish i could do that. i never thought myself capable of such creativity. i used to wish i could be capable of creating an ensemble of characters i could write and have fun with. a fictional world i could create and find some escape in, and now i do.

i love the little world of characters i’ve created so much. can confirm: it is truly magical✨

oh and happy late new year💛☺️☀️

thinking about the time when i re-read the first draft of the first piece of work i’d ever written for my characters (there are eight total main characters) and i completely forgot to include one of them in the first half of the story.

and just like that, his archetype was discovered.

he’s the person who’s often overlooked, leading him to feel a bit lonely and unimportant at times. the “forgotten friend” if you will.

and it’s so true because i really did forget he existed when i first created my characters omg😭 i swear i love him it was just an accident

as discouraging as it can be writing to an audience of zero, i’m so locked in atp, idec anymore😭 delusion is my feul

i LOVE my characters and the little universe i created in my head sm, each of their books WILL be written and finished even if i’m the only one who knows of their existence!

i feel like i not only owe it to myself to see it through, but to my characters and their stories. they’re like my children, i can’t just abandon them because no one else is seeing their potential like i do?????

what kind of mother would that make me

i’ve never trusted my heart and ~gone with the flow~ more than i do with writing.

idk if this makes me an unhinged or ~irresponsible writer~ but i have never enjoyed the idea of outlining my work. something about it makes my writing feel so caged and limited and i HATE it!!!

obviously you can always simply go off script and change whatever the hell u want, but i still refuse to completely plan out every. single. thing. in some overly detailed outline. (and that’s just me, i’m not knocking anyone who does!!!)

of course i write down important plot points and key notes to incorporate and remember but other than that, i’m a big believer in “sharing” control with my characters.

sure i have solid ideas of how i want a story to pan out, but if the story just so happens to take me elsewhere in a spur of the moment manner, i’m all for it!

shameless chaotic writer here👋🏼