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HC/rant that maybe someone already said, but I'm procrastinating, so anyways.
You know what? Batman's build is kinda a plot hole, specially on that one comic that he is straight up a fuckin gorilla (and you could argue that gorillas are flexible, and you're right, but this is supposed to be a human).
It's impossible that he's buff as Superman.
Yeah, his training is super hard: LOTS of cardio, agility and resistance, and it does have heavy lifting here and there, yes. But almost all of his training is in various martial arts, box from Alfred, stealth, fencing and other ninja/assassin skills.
¿Have you ever seen the bodies of professionals in these sports?
The meatiest of them could be boxers, but they're more like fit than "I'm a walking house that it's about to rip this shirt just with my titties".
The only way to get this massive is by taking supplements, but that will be mostly for aesthetic, and someone as freaking paranoid as he is, will never cause muscles that beefy will only get in his way in everything all the fucking time and, contrary to popular believe, don't really give so much extra strength nor stamina.
Besides, a fit muscle body is easy to pass as "I'm a rich douch bag that really likes the gym/do sports" than a "I'm a walking fucking truck".
"¿But what about his genetics?" I'll give you that he's tall, and has good genes, but that body builder wet dream it's simply not natural.
"¿But how can Clark have that musculature then, if he barely works out?" He's not human. He's a freaking alien power up by the sun. For all we know, this is what a Kryptonian skinny nerd looks like. And we're not body shaming him.
"¿So we just say goodbye to Clark pretending to be Batman? ¿Is that what you want, you monster?" Naw, I just said that this is actually a new chance to better his cover, because Batman and Bruce Wayne don't even have the same body type ¿Who would believe such nonsense?
It's kinda stupid say is his own body, BUT, considering he is (allegedly) a normal human regularly fighting against metas and gods.
And his suit has been said to contain anti-impact technology with a bellows system and other things built in, plus the various technology he keeps in there. Could make sense that all the extra muscle is just his armor.
And Clark impersonating Batman is just using almost simple fabric against his Apollonian body and they have nearly the same silhouette.
This way, Dick taking the mantle and Bruce going as Nightwing and nobody noticing a thing is so much less weird. Because their physical appearance isn't that far off from each other.
But we have to say goodbye to Clark pretending to be Bruce, tough, sorry about that.
Tim: So Duke, you officially been at the manor a year, how are you liking it?
Duke: I’m finally settling in. I’m no longer worried Bruce is going to send me away.
Jason: I get that. I thought I was just some charity case. I was terrified that I would mess up and end up back on the streets. I stole a bunch of expensive looking things and kept them in a go bag. I was prepared.
Damien: I too feared being sent away. My grandfather would have been disappointed. I was prepared to fight to the death to prove my place in the family.
Dick: I was sleeping with a knife in my sock in case he sent me back juvie.
Cass: (signing) I feared disappointing him. I felt like I needed to earn my place here.
Steph: He couldn’t get rid of me if he tried. I am like glitter.
Tim: Same. I think he tried to kick me out like 6 times. I just laughed and walked past him.
Duke: Are we just going to ignore Dick’s knife comment?
Ok, so you know how Jason looks like he's around 19-20 when he returns, but was dead for like a year before beign resurrected by the pit?
The pit, tecnically talking, makes you younger (apart from stronger and has a healing and reviving factor), Ra's Al Ghul usually uses it for this, to be younger and stronger and to heal injuries,.
So, what if, other than reviving and healing, Jason became younger than when he died when being revived by the pit? It would make his young appearance have more sense
Even more because Dick and Jason have like a 4-5 year old age difference, and when jason return Dick is like in his late 20s (25-30) so Jason should look like he's more than 20years old, but his looks his way younger, so maybe when he was revived the pit made him younger.
and about the children and in general batfam?
well... idk, like for the most of them idk, I have some ideas about Tim, Jason, Damian and maybe Cass, but for the rest... no idea
Tim: omega, because it would make sense that Janet and Jake were like betas or alphas and when tim turned out to be a omega (with like some kind of blood test that said the gender before it manifested or something like that) were dissapointed about it and started ignoring him Damian: alpha, no need to explain why, Talia was an alpha like her father so Damian is too. how he was concieved and born? well... that's a bit more complicated, like if we want him to grew like an assassin there can be two ways: 1) Artificial womb, like Talia stole some DNA or Bruce egg and used an artificial womb or a surrogate to have the child 2) Trauma, I mean, Talia probably stole Damian from Bruce when he was born and told him the child died for a complication or another then we have the Damian didn't go to the league and bruce birthed and protected him.
Jason: pre Lazarous pit he was a beta, post Lazarous pit he became an alpha, probably for some magic of the pit, maybe even Ra's Al Gul was a beta before he used the pit the first time. Or, no change in the pit, Jason is an omega, one of this two options, that's it
Cass: maybe she's an alpha, or a beta, idk because the thing is her smell, she could use blockers, or her father removed the glands maybe.... idk but for sure not an omega. even tough she's the sweetest.
Batman in an omegaverse always should be an alpha or at least someone without a smell , but not Bruce Wayne, he should be an omega, so hear me out:
Bruce Wayne by the public is considered to be a Homeboy (probably, idk the correct term, I'm italian), he's all smiley, a guy that continiusly adopts (apparently) random orphans, who is known for sleeping around a lot, at least befor Dick was adopted, the person that if you even go near his children will go crazy to protect them; kinda of boneless, who dosen't really works at his own company, basically Brucie Wayne (in the public eye, then in reality we all know the normal Bruce Wayne out of galas is not like that), an omega.
But Batman?
Batman is perceived as a menace for goons and villain, the darkness of Gotham, its protector, so an alpha, or at least what people think he is; probably he uses blocker so he smells like nothing or like an alpha.
and all of this makes even more sense because since the start bruce tried to separete the 2 personas (even in the canon) to protect his identity, so they're complete opposite, could ever Brucie Wayne be Batman? ptf NO, that's the point, so having a omega Brucie and an alpha Batman makes way more sense than having an alpha Bruce Wayne
Batman in an omegaverse always should be an alpha or at least someone without a smell , but not Bruce Wayne, he should be an omega, so hear me out:
Bruce Wayne by the public is considered to be a Homeboy (probably, idk the correct term, I'm italian), he's all smiley, a guy that continiusly adopts (apparently) random orphans, who is known for sleeping around a lot, at least befor Dick was adopted, the person that if you even go near his children will go crazy to protect them; kinda of boneless, who dosen't really works at his own company, basically Brucie Wayne (in the public eye, then in reality we all know the normal Bruce Wayne out of galas is not like that), an omega.
But Batman?
Batman is perceived as a menace for goons and villain, the darkness of Gotham, its protector, so an alpha, or at least what people think he is; probably he uses blocker so he smells like nothing or like an alpha.
and all of this makes even more sense because since the start bruce tried to separete the 2 personas (even in the canon) to protect his identity, so they're complete opposite, could ever Brucie Wayne be Batman? ptf NO, that's the point, so having a omega Brucie and an alpha Batman makes way more sense than having an alpha Bruce Wayne
Bruce Wayne, 20 : No alfred ! I won't do the spectrum test ! I would know it, and i'm way too old.
Also Bruce Wayne when his secretary is wearing a blue shirt but it's a red day : 👁👄👁
I’ve been thinking about Batman a lot recently (no shit) and if the Riddler had live streams, do you think there’s a Reddit for Gotham and Bats? Bruce?
r/brucewayne
Posted by u/firepuma_142 1 day ago
I accidentally bumped into Bruce Wayne while he was wearing eyeshadow at 4 AM
• • •
r/brucewayne
Posted by u/saltshakerr 5 hours ago
I watched Bruce Wayne get the wrong order at the local Starbucks and he was too polite to tell them they got it wrong
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r/Batman
Posted by u/ohnonki 14 days ago
I survived the mass flooding after Batman pulled me from the water and visited me in the hospital
• • •
r/Gotham
Posted by u/wastingmylife 30 minutes ago
How I was almost *unknowingly* recruited by The Riddler
I don't know if someone's done this already, but imagine the Justice League is doing some mission or another and Batman gets captured. Maybe it was on purpose, maybe it wasn't but whatever the case, the JL is now Concerned. Their main tactician is gone, and some of the villains are Batman's Rogues, who they admittedly don't know much about
They bust into where ever Batman's being held and only one person is there that they see. They take them out and wander around until they find Batman in a room with Harley Quinn. They go in guns blazing only to stop in pure confusion
Batman is tied rather impressively to a chair while Harley sits opposite of him with a clipboard in hand and glasses perched on her nose. Bruce looks absolutely miserable while Harley turns around with a wide smile as if she hadn't been holding Batman hostage. To be fair to her though, Bruce honestly had figured out how to escape his restraints about 5 minutes after he woke up, but he knows that the Joker doesn't ever listen to Harley and she'd get upset when her "impromptu therapy" sessions would get interrupted when they were in college together. He'd always had kind of a soft spot for Harley so he'd stayed. Not that anyone else needed to know that of course
everyone's interaction goes something like this:
Harley: Oh hi!
Superman who is Terminally Polite: H-hey. How are you?
Harley: Oh, I'm good. Batman and I were talking about his obvious abandonment issues and severe anxiety!
Bruce, mortified and hiding it surprisingly well: No we weren't
Flash: Is this...normal???
Harley: Yeah, just about - any time I get to watch him I usually give him some therapy. He obviously needs it and it's not like I'm doing much with my degree otherwise!
Bruce: First off, rude. Second off, why is everyone just standing around? We've got work to do!
And the entire League jumps guiltily as they realize they were kind of just staring at their captured teammate when there is indeed work to be done about the rest of the group they're facing. Then, Harley drops the bomb that she wasn't even involved???? She just heard that they'd captured Batman and broke in to Therapy at him while he couldn't get away
I’m not a psychologist so this is all just a guess. If you’d like me to elaborate why I headcanon these characters as having these disorders or want me to add more, please let me know! Two-face: Aboulomanie, multiple personality disorder Scarecrow: Slight diogenes syndrome, philophobia (non-sexual) The Mad Hatter: Maladaptive daydreaming, borderline personality disorder The Joker: Witzelsucht, psychopathy, (possible PTSD) Maxie Zeus: Grandiose disorder, schizophrenia The Riddler: Narcissistic Personality disorder The Penguin: histrionic personality disorder Victor Zsasz: obsessive compulsive disorder, depressive disorder Firefly:Pyromanie
We all know the classic “airheaded Brucie Wayne doesn’t understand the prices of everyday objects because of his wealth” take. We also generally know that even as Bruce Wayne he probably still has a fairly skewed understanding of what counts as affordable due to being in the rich part of the city. Realistically even as Batman he probably objectively knows what the economy of Gotham looks like for the most part but is still a little out of touch due to basically never going into a supermarket.
Now for the twist, what if during those years away training and basically becoming Ryu from Streets, he did end up learning the price of commodities like food and clothes, BUT he only knows it for other countries currency.
Imagine if that knowledge casually translated to Brucie, where he’s giving an interview or he’s on a tv show like jeopardy or family feud, and they ask him some question like “How much do you think it costs to buy 8 apples?” And Brucie Wayne just pulls out some random currency to approximate it. Almost nobody knows what the current exchange rate is between these different currencies off the top of their head and Brucie doesn’t seem to be able to convert it either.
It becomes a whole thing, where anytime someone asks Brucie how much something cheap costs he’ll answer in any other currency besides the U.S. Dollar.
Now imagine if someone decided to specify that his answer needs to be in USD, he just takes a moment stares off into the distance and when they decide to finally ask if he’s alright he just goes “oh no sorry, I just needed to convert it. It’d be about x amount of money USD.” Just completely blowing the concept that yes, Brucie Wayne is capable of converting between these random currency exchange rates off the top of his head, yes he can do math mentally, and yes he knows what the price of these everyday goods are, but only in other countries, thereby proving previous claims, that he was just getting lucky pulling random numbers off the top of his head, were false.
Even more remarkable is sometimes when it’s looked into, the only places with prices as low as Brucie suggests in that particular currency are basically slums which brings up a whole new slew of questions, like “WHY DOES BRUCIE WAYNE SEEM INTIMATELY FAMILIAR WITH THE SLUM PRICES OF THIS TINY TOWN IN ANOTHER COUNTRY”
Just adds a whole new dimension of lore to Brucie Wayne that Gothamites could go nuts over.
I was just thinking of Damian Wayne and this idea just popped in my head.
The Damian we have in the comics is a clone.
Not to crazy a theory because there are a bunch of clones of Damian but I don’t mean it in that way.
In an older comic before Damian was introduced to the public a baby named Damian was adopted by a family and we never found out what happened to him and assumed that he probably was retconed (and maybe he was).
It was said that Damian was artificially aged up but wouldn’t Bruce know if he had been with Talia in that way 7 years ago and somehow has a 10 year old kid and someone could say that he may know about the artificial aging up because of Heretic but I think he would make some what of a big deal out of it (he’s Bruce!!!).
So thinking that Bruce thought that Talia lied to him for ten years about Damian and doesn’t know that Damian was artificially aged up then he wouldn’t have much to question if Damian was a clone and the only comparison he would have to tell if Damian was a clone would be Heretic and Bruce wouldn’t touching him with a twelve foot pole. 
So my theory is that Talia after fully realizing that she was going to be having a baby with her beloved may have also realized that she doesn’t want to put her child through what she had to go through or have her child be apart of Batman’s endless crusade against crime. So she lies to Bruce and has original Baby Dami and puts him up for adoption to a very kind family that she trust to take care of her baby and will allow him to have a normal life and begins making clones with original baby Dami’s dna and then when she get out Damian she artificially ages him up and begins his training and I feel like she still cares about the clones because they are her sons but she feels less guilty about training one because she made him for that exact purpose and along the way did grow to care for the clone of her son/the Damian we all know but still keeps her distance emotionally.
So I just think that somewhere out in the world there is a Damian that is just an average kid and living the life of an everyday person with his two adopted parents living happily ever after. And that thought makes me happy
Batfam headcanon
The batfam has movie night every Sunday (they actually do it in the afternoon) but it has slowly become a book-based-movies-knowledge-off between Jason and Damian that they pretend is a fight but everyone knows that's just how they bond.
It was fun at the beginning for the rest of the bat family to watch but after a while it got annoying because, while the rest of the family is trying to watch the movie, Damian and Jason are booknerding out.
Jason puts Lord of the rings: the fellowship of the rings (extended addition) on because for the last 3 movie "nights" Cass, Dick, and Bruce have coordinated with each other to watch the 3 Hobbit movies.
Damian: "why are they not mentioning that it is also Frodo's birthday? And why did they make it so that Gandalf and Frodo don't know about the ring, they were in on the prank"
Jason: "Where are the dwarves that Bilbo was traveling with? There were supposed to be dwarves. The guy is 111, he needs them at this point"
Damian: "isn't Legolas supposed to have dark hair, why is he blonde?"
(Tim in the background: " leave Legolas out of this discussion, he's a hot elf that's all that matters")
This goes on for two movie "nights" and the next movie "night" its Duke's turn to pick.
Duke picks Little woman knowing full well that Damian and Jason will not talk during the movie and also because he likes to watch Jason pretend that he's not crying.
Afterwards Jason rereads the little woman book.
(no hate to the LoTR movies or Legolas I freaking love both but I do wish that they made it so Gandalf was in on the prank like in the books so that I could see Bilbo and him laughing at the other Hobbits because that would have been freaking hilarious but I understand why they didn't and love the movies anyway)
HC
Wayne enterprises start a makeup brand and skincare line.
I feel like Bruce would overhear Stephanie telling Cass that the makeup company she gets her favorite lipgloss from is discontinuing it and she is devastated by it.
So Bruce would ask Cass what lipgloss she was talking about and go to the company who makes it and buy the recipe.
Bruce would just come into a WE meeting and slap down the piece of paper with the recipe and say we're making this now.
And knowing Bruce he'd probably make it better by putting in stuff that will moisturize and not wipe off but still look the shiny.
He would give the first one to Steph for her birthday and she would be so happy, and seeing her happy would make Bruce happy.
Later on he would hear Barbra and Steph complaining about makeup, about how it causes them to break out and Barbra can never find her right eyebrow color and how cakey it looks no matter what they do and all the good makeup is too expensive.
And after hearing that conversation, Bruce would go on a tangent and learn everything he can about make up.
He would learn undertones and skin types and how the same color can look different on different skin colors and what the best makeup is and what it has in it and what is good for skin care.
Then he would go to different dermatologists and ask them questions about skin and good products for it depending on the skin type.
Eventually Selina would hear about this and ask Bruce what he was doing, he would tell her and she would probably tell him about different companies that have good makeup.
But also she would tell him that not a lot of makeup brands have colors for people with darker skin and they often exclude them or make the products not as good as products for people with lighter skin.
Because of this Bruce would start doing more research and asking more questions for people who aren't able to find makeup their color.
About a year 3/4s later WE makeup would release to the public.