Writing Help - Blog Posts

sometimes you need dialogue tags and don't want to use the same four

How to show emotions

Part V

How to show grief

a vacant look

slack facial expressions

shaky hands

trembling lips

swallowing

struggling to breathe

tears rolling down their cheeks

How to show fondness

smiling with their mouth and their eyes

softening their features

cannot keep their eyes off of the object of their fondness

sometimes pouting the lips a bit

reaching out, wanting to touch them

How to show envy

narrowing their eyes

rolling their eyes

raising their eyebrows

grinding their teeth

tightening jaw

chin poking out

pouting their lips

forced smiling

crossing arms

shifting their gaze

clenching their fists

tensing their muscles

then becoming restless/fidgeting

swallowing hard

stiffening

holding their breath

blinking rapidly

exhaling sharply

How to show regret

scrubbing a hand over the face

sighing heavily

downturned mouth

slightly bending over

shoulders hanging low

hands falling to the sides

a pained expression

heavy eyes

staring down at their feet

Part I + Part II + Part III + Part IV

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So I bookmarked this for later and remembered which way you shifted them wrong, but that got me thinking...

(very long post under cut)

1. Bravery - Recklessness Arrogance: A pretty common trope already. They're kinda stuck in a cycle of doing something heroic, getting a big head, and then having enough confidence to do it again.

2. Intelligence - Arrogance Naivety: The classic book-smart-but-not-street-smart character. They know a lot, but can easily get tricked.

3. Compassion - Naivety Stubbornness: A character has a lot of love in their heart, and won't let anyone tell them that they should stop being so nice.

(This is honestly really sweet.)

4. Determination - Stubbornness Manipulativeness: They have a lot of passion, but they use it to get other people to help them reach their goals.

5. Charisma - Manipulativeness Opportunism: This character has a way with words. Unfortunately for everyone else, they're a greedy little bastard and are always looking for an opportunity to get more of whatever it is they want.

(I know it’s tempting to give this one to a politician or CEO, but let’s try to think outside the box for a moment. What if this was a little kid instead?)

6. Resourcefulness - Opportunism Blind Obedience: To be honest, this one was a bit tricky to work with, but I like where I landed. They are very creative and crafty, but everything they make goes to a person they probably shouldn't be helping.

7. Loyalty - Blind Obedience Denial: This character is extremely devoted to whatever they are loyal to, to the point that they refuse to accept anything negative about them.

8. Optimism - Denial Inappropriateness: They're always looking on the bright side, and want others to do the same. However, this leads them to being insensitive and disrespectful towards those in pain.

9. Humor - Inappropriateness Lack of Boundaries: This character relishes in making jokes at other people's expense, but never listens when asked to stop.

10. Generosity - Lack of Boundaries Passivity: Instead of making their own decisions, this character tends to just give people stuff. Probably falls for scams a lot.

11. Patience - Passivity Cynicism: A character is so used to putting up with other people's nonsense that they've come to expect it. However, they still will treat these people with kindness.

12. Wisdom - Cynicism Overconfidence: This character is very wise, but they take their own words as gospel.

13. Confidence - Overconfidence Bluntness: They know they're great, and they're not afraid to say it. They consider themself above politeness, feeling it only gets in the way of success.

14. Honesty - Bluntness Rigidity: This character always tells the truth, and will not allow anyone to lie, no matter the reason.

15. Self-discipline - Rigidity Impulsiveness: A character has strong morals, but often acts without thinking.

(I can think of two directions you can go with this- they could be hypervigilant about anything that could be going against their morals, and recklessly try to find a way to correct it. Alternatively, they could do something "wrong" in the heat of the moment, then beat themself up over it later. Both are really compelling, and could perhaps be used together!)

16. Adventurousness - Impulsiveness Overwhelm: They are eager and curious about the world around them, yet they feel daunted by how much they haven't explored. They also consider themself insignificant compared to the sheer vastness of the world.

(Relatable.)

17. Empathy - Overwhelm Ruthlessness: This character cares very deeply for their loved ones, but will do anything to help those precious people, even if it means harming others outside their circle.

18. Ambition - Ruthlessness Emotional Detachment: A character is very passionate and diligent about their goals, but doesn't consider/care about how it impacts anyone else.

19. Resilience - Emotional Detachment Calculative: They've been through a lot. To avoid having to deal with any more traumatic situations, they plot out their strategy to make everything work in their favor.

20. Strategic - Calculative Recklessness: This character is great at making plans, but doesn't include any fail-safes or escape plans in case something goes wrong.

20 Compelling Positive-Negative Trait Pairs

Here are 20 positive and negative trait pairs that can create compelling character dynamics in storytelling:

1. Bravery - Recklessness: A character is courageous in the face of danger but often takes unnecessary risks.

2. Intelligence - Arrogance: A character is exceptionally smart but looks down on others.

3. Compassion - Naivety: A character is deeply caring but easily deceived due to their trusting nature.

4. Determination - Stubbornness: A character is persistent in their goals but unwilling to adapt or compromise.

5. Charisma - Manipulativeness: A character is charming and persuasive but often uses these traits to exploit others.

6. Resourcefulness - Opportunism: A character is adept at finding solutions but is also quick to exploit situations for personal gain.

7. Loyalty - Blind Obedience: A character is fiercely loyal but follows orders without question, even when they're wrong.

8. Optimism - Denial: A character remains hopeful in difficult times but often ignores harsh realities.

9. Humor - Inappropriateness: A character lightens the mood with jokes but often crosses the line with their humor.

10. Generosity - Lack of Boundaries: A character is giving and selfless but often neglects their own needs and well-being.

11. Patience - Passivity: A character is calm and tolerant but sometimes fails to take action when needed.

12. Wisdom - Cynicism: A character has deep understanding and insight but is often pessimistic about the world.

13. Confidence - Overconfidence: A character believes in their abilities but sometimes underestimates challenges.

14. Honesty - Bluntness: A character is truthful and straightforward but often insensitive in their delivery.

15. Self-discipline - Rigidity: A character maintains strong control over their actions but is inflexible and resistant to change.

16. Adventurousness - Impulsiveness: A character loves exploring and trying new things but often acts without thinking.

17. Empathy - Overwhelm: A character deeply understands and feels others' emotions but can become overwhelmed by them.

18. Ambition - Ruthlessness: A character is driven to achieve great things but willing to do anything, even unethical, to succeed.

19. Resilience - Emotional Detachment: A character can endure hardships without breaking but often seems emotionally distant.

20. Strategic - Calculative: A character excels at planning and foresight but can be cold and overly pragmatic in their decisions.

These pairs create complex, multi-dimensional characters that can drive rich, dynamic storytelling.

The Ultimate Creative Writing Resource List

After writing for quite nearly my entire literate life ~and~ getting a creative writing degree, I've put together a comprehensive list of the sites and blogs that I've found most useful! Check it out, we've got—

An Insanely Detailed Character Creation Sheet: use this page to learn everything you've ever wanted to know about your character and more. It never fails to make me consider something about them I wouldn't have thought of otherwise.

A Character Avatar Creator: if you know what your character looks like and want a visual of them for notes/cork boards/Google Docs, this site will let you personalize them almost as much as a Sims game.

Pinterest: if you don't know what your character looks like and need inspiration, search for pictures of people who inspire you. Definitely have done this more often than not because I can never seem to pin down (pun intended) my character's exact appearance. Really helps with things you might forget while writing, like the shape of their eyebrows, how their hair lays or even how they stand.

A Map Creation Website: it's meant for fantasy worlds but I've used it for my historical fiction novels! Super customizable even without paying for it. It also saves your work in the free version, which has saved me when I forgot to upload copies to where I keep all my story stuff.

Grammar Girl: have any questions about where to put that semicolon or when to use italics? Grammar Girl is literally used by English teachers because it's that accurate. Check your work or put as many commas in that manuscript as your heart tells you to anyway. I've done both!

Grammarly: this is another way to check your grammar, especially if you use the Chrome extension. It automatically checks your basic grammar, spelling, and readability while you type in Google Docs or another browser-based text document. Note that it isn't foolproof and sometimes will suggest things that don't make sense. Use your best judgement when it highlights things!

Word Hippo: do you feel like you've used one word too often in your story? I use Word Hippo daily for both my creative and professional writing to avoid repetition. When I can't think of a synonym or antonym on my own, it has a billion suggestions for adjectives, verbs, nouns, etc. It can even help you find words that rhyme! Make your character a poet. Nothing can stop you.

Text-to-Speech Reader: it's always easier to catch minor line errors when you read something out loud, but if you don't feel like doing that, this site will read your story for you. There are multiple voices to choose from, so have fun listening to your hard-won stories while you edit.

Background Noise—Coffee Shop: I always lose myself in stories when I have this video playing in the background. It's like I'm in a coffee shop or cozy restaurant booth, but without spending money.

Background Noise—Tavern Fireplace: same vibes as a coffee shop, but with fireplace crackling.

Background Noise—Rain Shower: listen to rain patter against your window with some thunder in the background.

Background Noise—Cozy Fireplace and Rain Shower: combine your favorite sounds in this extra long video of a wood-burning fireplace and a distance rain shower. Perfect for anyone who doesn't want to hear extra loud thunder.

Background Noise—Forest Sounds: is your story taking place outdoors? These sounds will make you feel like you're in the woods with your characters.

Background Noise—Blizzard Sounds: constant blizzard winds may easily make you feel removed from the world so you can focus on your work.

Background Noise—Interior Plane Cabin White Noise: the pleasant hum of a plane cabin is what I often write to. There are no loud take-off, landing, or passenger sounds either.

Background Noise—Christmas Music From Another Room: I found this video when quarantining for Christmas with my husband in 2020. It ended up being one of my favorite writing background videos of that year. It features lyric-less songs on vinyl, plus muffled talking, which was a definite perk for the year+ we spent inside.

Background Noise—Lo-Fi: when I'm not sure what I want to write to, I use this playlist. It has the perfect low-key beats for writing less-intense scenes or working on plot, characters, mapping, etc.

Tumblrs With Fantastic Writing Tips: I have a few favorite tumblrs I loooooove and have followed on various blogs for many years. They regularly answer submitted questions and have organized tags, so if you're wondering about something, you'll likely find an answer by searching their blogs! Check out @fixyourwritinghabits @heywriters @wordsnstuff for expert-level help, guidance, and inspiration.

Tumblrs With Writing Prompts: while there are many prompt websites and blogs, my favorite prompt tumblrs are @daily-prompts and @creativepromptsforwriting for their variety and creativity!

Other resources...

Goodreads: consistently reading is part of exercising that creative muscle in your brain. Goodreads will help you keep track of everything you've read, are reading, and want to read. Find your next inspiration and the latest updates on what's coming out soon from your favorite authors.

Poets & Writers Contests: this site is always posting the latest creative writing contests for all genres. It also has free submissions, so don't worry if you can't afford entry fees for now.

The Writer: you'll also find great contests (both free and paid) at The Writer. Explore their site to discover other great resources too, like writing getaways and publishing tips.

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Enjoy and I hope this helps! Feel free to reblog and add other resources that you use for your writing. I'd love to find more!

Writing Help

So I started thinking and conceptualizing a book in June this year, but I only started writing it this November.

Should I place it as;

Started: June 2021 or Started: November 2021

???

When I was a child, every well-meaning adult with a nine-to-five soul and a dried-up imagination told me that being a writer wasn’t a “real job.”

“You’re just a little girl with big words,” they said. “Books don’t pay the bills.”

As if paying bills was the most thrilling thing a person could live for.

I never understood why grown-ups were so committed to shoving a fire extinguisher down the throat of a kid who just wanted to tell stories.

I kept wondering, why is it so threatening for a little girl to believe her words could matter?

Now I know why.

Because they never had a dream of their own.

And when you’ve never had one or gave yours up a long time ago, it’s easier to mock someone else’s.

It’s easier to roll your eyes at someone chasing stars when you’ve chosen to stay face-down in the dirt.

And still… I write. Not because I was told I couldn’t. But because I had to.

Because I promised that little girl I’d keep going, even when it hurt. Especially when it hurt.

helpful writing websites

prohintistery — very helpful for finding new words and other writing-related material

thesaurus — you can find antonyms, synonyms, and the meanings of most words here

the color thesaurus — here is a list of a variety of colors and their names

pinterest — helpful for mood boards, designing characters, capturing ideas in images

other words for,

happy

joyous, delighted, ecstatic, cheerful, elated, glad, gleeful, jolly, merry, thrilled, upbeat, overjoyed, jubilant

sad

upset, depressed, melancholy, mournful, somber, sorrowful, pessimistic, sorry, unhappy, blue

angry

fuming, raging, irritated, annoyed, bitter, enraged, irate, furious

scared

fearful, afraid, anxious, panicked, panicky, startled, petrified, shaken, terrified

bored

disintegrated, fatigued, tired

big

fat, full, gigantic, massive, enormous, tremendous, colossal, considerable, hefty, huge, sizable, substantial, full, immense

small

cramped, limited, meager, microscopic, miniature, minuscule, modest, narrow, small-scale, young, paltry, poor

pretty

attractive, beautiful, charming, cute, elegant, good-looking, graceful, handsome, lovely, neat, pleasant

ugly

repulsive, unattractive, hideous, grotesque, grisly, unseemly, unsightly, horrid, awful

dislike

displeasure, disapprove, aversion, disgust, loathing, hatred, enmity

like

approve, adore, admire, cherish, appreciate, love, dig, fancy, prize

easy

effortless, obvious, simple, painless, straightforward, smooth, child’s play, light, basic

hard

difficult, tough, troublesome, complicated, serious, heavy, rough, arduous, backbreaking

soft

velvety, silky, smooth, spongy, fluffy, elastic, mushy, delicate, comfy, creamy, pliable

rough

rocky, rugged, harsh, coarse, choppy, chapped

hot

blazing, boiling, heated, searing, sweltering, warm, scorching, sizzling

cold

chilly, freezing, icy, brisk, frigid, cool, wintry, frosty

thick

dense, fat, chunky, broad, wide, massive, hard

thin

skinny, slim, small, slender, gaunt, lean, fragile, delicate, narrow, meager

agree

concede, comply, allow, concur, grant, settle, sign, set, recognize

disagree

clash, oppose, divide, feud, haggle, object, oppose, quarrel, quibble, dissent, bicker, contend

nice

kind, cordial, fair, friendly, good, lovely, swell

mean

rude, callous, dangerous, evil, malicious, nasty, vile, ugly, hard, vicious

loud

big, boisterous, deafening, resounding, roaring, ringing, raucous, rambunctious, intense

quiet

muted, hushed, muffled, low, soft, reticent, noiseless

firm

stiff, thick, tough, unyielding, sturdy, solid, hard, substantial, rigid

loose

baggy, lax, relaxed, sloppy, slack, limp

delicious

appetizing, delectable, delightful, exquisite, heavenly, enjoyable, pleasant, savory

distasteful

unpalatable, unappealing, unappetizing, unsavory, indigestible, inedible, savorless, nasty

woman, girl

female, lady, madam, beauty

man, boy

male, gentleman, dude

home

house, shelter, dwelling, residence, mansion, apartment, shack, box, condo, building

like, similar

alike, akin, analogous, allied, parallel, matching, equivalent, comparable, identical, related

music

soul, tune, opera, melody, piece, singing, chamber, measure, hymn, song

art

design, painting, illustration

and writing

article, book, piece, scripture, manuscript, story, passage, novel, reading, work

all synonyms found on www.thesaurus.com

things to think about when you’re worldbuilding

economy or economies — what does the economy look like? is it horrible? is it great? does it vary from area to area?

race(s) — what do your people(s) look like? are they human, are they something else, are there multiple species?

currency or currencies — what do people use to trade? do they trade with items, like one pound of beef in exchange for one pound of scrap, or currency, like one dollar for one peach?

magic — decide if you want to have magic in your world, none at all, or if you want to put a spin on magic, like technology (smartphones, laptops, etc.) is considered magic

magic system — how does your magic work? are there different elements? maybe different element combinations can make others?

rules of magic — what are the absolute don’ts and dos in your magic system? also, what are the don’ts and do’s for magic in your society or societies?

magicians — are there magicians? are they typically one race, can they be anyone, or are multiple races known for being magicians? how are they related to magic? are some races better at becoming magicians and dealing with magic than others? what makes someone a strong or weak magician if you’re going to have power differences?

how magic relates to science — if you’re going to have science in your world, how does magic tie into it? is magic just apart of science? is magic its own thing and science another?

flora and fauna — how is the wildlife? are the plants and animals the same as the ones on earth, or are they unique? are there a variety of organisms or only a few?

geography — what does the planet look like? is it mostly land, water, or something else? are there landforms? if so, what are they and what do they look like?

natural resource(s) — what resources are available on the planet or planets and where?

climate(s) — what is the weather generally like on the planet or in specific areas? for example, is it always hot in one area but always cold in another, or is the entire planet one way?

culture(s) — manners, calendar(s),

technology — how technologically advanced are your people? are some areas or civilizations more advanced than others? are they barbaric?

medicine — how advanced or simple is medicine? is it available to most people? is the kind of treatment you receive race specific? does free medical care exist or is it available?

transportation — how do people get around? do they walk, use cars, bikes, planes, and or trains, or something else entirely?

communication — what are the language(s)? what are the methods of communication? are there specific alphabet(s)?

body language to use in your writing

he furrowed his eyebrows — in confusion or concentration

he raised his eyebrows — in surprise or skepticism

he narrowed his eyes — in suspicion or annoyance

he bit or pressed his lips together — in hesitation

his lips parted slightly — in shock or anticipation

he clenched his jaw — in frustration or determination

he tilted his head — in curiosity or disbelief

he wrinkled his nose — in disgust or disapproval

he rolled his eyes — in exasperation

he puffed his cheeks — in frustration or exhaustion

eye movements:

his eyes darted around — nervously

he avoided eye contact — out of guilt or shyness

he held eye contact — in defiance or intensity

he squinted slightly — in scrutiny

he looked down — in shame or submission

he glanced away quickly — in embarrassment

he stared blankly — in shock or dissociation

he blinked rapidly — in disbelief or surprise

his eyes widened — in fear or astonishment

he peeked through his fingers — when scared or hesitant

head movements:

he nodded slowly — in understanding or agreement

he shook his head — in disagreement or disbelief

he tilted his head — playfully or teasingly

he bowed his head slightly — in respect or submission

he tossed his head back — in confidence or defiance

he ducked his head — in embarrassment or shyness

he rested his chin in his hand — while thinking or bored

he jerked his head toward a sound — in alertness

he rolled his neck — to release tension

he tipped his chin up — in defiance or arrogance

hand movements:

he clenched his fists — in anger or determination

he ran his hands through his hair — in frustration or stress

he wringed his hands — in nervousness

he drummed his fingers on a surface — in impatience

he pointed — accusingly or demandingly

he pressed his palms against a surface — in desperation

he tugged at his sleeves or hem — in nervousness

he threw his hands up — in exasperation or surrender

he rubbed his temples — in frustration or exhaustion

he covered his mouth — in shock or horror

arm and shoulder movements:

he crossed his arms — in defensiveness or annoyance

he wrapped his arms around himself — for comfort

he shrugged — in uncertainty or indifference

he threw his arms out — in excitement or exasperation

he linked arms with her — for comfort or closeness

he rubbed his arms — to self-soothe or ward off cold

he flailed his arms wildly — in panic or excitement

he stretched his arms above his head — in relaxation or boredom

he held his arms behind his back — in restraint or formality

he used exaggerated arm gestures — when talking passionately

leg and foot movements:

he tapped his foot — impatiently

he crossed his legs — to appear closed off or comfortable

he bounced his knee — in nervousness or excitement

he kicked at the ground — absentmindedly

he shuffled his feet — in hesitation or guilt

he stood on his tiptoes — to see something or seem taller

he turned his toes inward — in insecurity or shyness

he stomped his foot — in frustration or excitement

he swung his legs — in a carefree manner

he stepped back instinctively — in fear or uncertainty

posture and general movement:

he stood tall with his shoulders squared — in confidence

he slouched — in defeat or boredom

he leaned in — engaged or interested

he leaned away — in discomfort or disinterest

he puffed out his chest — in arrogance or bravado

he shrunk into himself — in anxiety or fear

he rocked back and forth — in nervousness or impatience

he swiveled his body away slightly — in disengagement

he walked stiffly — in discomfort or tension

her hips swayed confidently while she walked

microexpressions:

a smile briefly flickered across his face

his eye twitched a single time — in irritation

he swallowed hard — when nervous or emotional

he slightly shuddered — in disgust or fear

he bit the inside of his cheek — in thought or frustration

he quickly inhaled — taken aback

he exhaled shakily after holding his breath too long

he clutched his shirt tightly — in anxiety

he tilted his head down slightly while still looking up (puppy dog eyes)

there was a fleeting look of longing in his eyes before he looked away

punctuation in dialogue

“this,” i paused, “is a sentence with an action, pause, dialogue tag, etc. in between.”

“this is a sentence too,” i said.

“hey and this too.” i said

“this is a sentence,” i said. “this is another sentence.”

“this is a sentence.”

okay thanks that’s all i got same time tomorrow

“how did you get into writing” hey so writing got into me

scents and smells to use in your writing

sandalwood — think intoxicating, slightly masculine (if you want it to be), wood-y,

fresh laundry — think febreeze, freshly cleaned clothes, cleaning wipes, that kinda thing

cinammon — think cinnamon rolls, desserts, sugar, sweetness

vanilla — sweet and soft. it’s a classic and i feel it’s almost feminine because it’s in a lot of perfumes but it can be for anyone

sea salt — think sand on your feet, sea in your lungs, maybe a few seagulls cawing. a very beach-y smell

chlorine — think of pools, summer, theme parks with water slides. it’s not the most appealing smell but it certainly is a smell

strawberry — when i think of strawberries, i think of strawberry picking when i was little and kind of the taste of the strawberries themselves. as for the ice cream or perfume kinda strawberry, it’s a fun and sweet smell

chocolate — think hot chocolate, a hershey’s kiss, that hint of chocolate in your coffee creamer. it’s warm and cozy

coconut — think tropical, beachy, refreshing. when most people see coconuts they see “exotic”

banana — think banana sundae, banana smoothie, fruit-y smell, laffy taffy, that kinda thing

apple — think apple trees, apple jam, apple pie, that kinda sweet crisp smell

pine — think of a damp, dirty forest with towering trees and leaves gracing its floor. maybe a deer or two is nearby. it’s a forest smell basically

metallic — think of blood, wet copper or iron, etc.

dirt/earth — think the smell of dirt, grass, trees. the general smell of nature

rose — think romantic, date night, mysterious, alluring. roses are most commonly associated with life and affection, at least in american culture

sweat — think intense workout, maybe tangy, smoky, etc. just sweat

mint — think of waking up bright and early, toothpaste, doctor’s offices, etc. mint really speaks as fresh to me

damp, wet, wet dog — think of moist places, like a really old pool or something akin to that

dew — think early morning and mist in the air. can be associated with spring as well

musk — think of a scent similar to sweat, but the aftermath. not just pure sweat everywhere, but the scent about an hour after you work out. it smells different for everyone though

smoke — think of that scent you smell when a fireplace turns off, wood stops burning, or when you overcook something

spicy — think of ginger, paprika, spices in general. it’s a kind of fun and daring smell

toasty, warming — this can be anything warm you want: hot cocoa, warm blankets, turning the heater on, summer, fireplace flames

floral — this can be any flower you want it to be. spring is full of it, it is the embodiment of a bouquet, and is the scent you smell when you “stop to smell the flowers”

twenty phrases for writing facial expressions

his brows knitted together

her lips pulled into a smile

the corners of her lips quirked up into a smile/smirk

her face twitched

a line formed between his brows

a look of happiness engulfed him

a look of sadness washed over him

his face contorted into a frown

his eyes drooped at that, and his lips pulled themselves into a frown

she raised a brow

she cocked an eyebrow

her brows furrowed

her eyes narrowed

her eyebrows shot up

his brows were tightly drawn together

alternatively, his brows were drawn together tightly

her entire face dropped

her smile fell

his eyes glittered with [any emotion]

his eyebrows pinched together

the types of laughs and smiles

smirked — teasing, playful, snarky. usually, one side of the person’s mouth is slightly upturned.

smiled — a smile, both sides of the person’s mouth turn up and it can be slight or extreme.

laughed — a general laugh. usually in response to something funny or outlandish, can be dry, loud, kind of quiet, or hearty.

chuckled — laughter’s quiet cousin. usually more subtle than a laugh and can be the suppression of a laugh, like someone was starting to laugh but decided against it.

howled — a loud, intense and higher pitched version of laughter. think doubling over, hands on knees kind of laugh. like a wolf, if you will

convulsed/convulsing with laughter — the person’s body is shaking or moving a lot due to laughter, maybe their arms are moving, they’re bent over, i don’t know whatever you want

beamed — a more strong, noticeable smile, usually wide and cheerful. think your crush just asked you out kinda deal

words to use instead of “said”

normal:

— stated

— spoke

— remarked

— reported

— added

questioning:

— asked

— inquired

— requested

— begged

angrily:

— demanded

— shouted

— growled

— yelled

sad:

— sobbed

— cried

— groaned

— bawled

nervous:

— trembled

— quaked

— stammered/stuttered

happy:

— exclaimed

— chirped

— laughed

— giggled

Symbolism

I thought I might not be the only writer out there who likes to put symbolism in their stories so I found some things and what they represent!!

Animals

Alligator - stealth, survival

Ant - diligence, industry, community, remarkable strength, hard working, success, patience

Antelope - action

Armadillo - boundaries, self protection

Badger - aggressiveness, passion and drive

Bat - rebirth, longevity, joy, good luck

Bear - gentle strength, dreaming, introspection, power, protection

Beaver - builder, accomplishing goals

Bee - divine messenger, love, service, gathering, community

Bird - enlightenment, perspective, swiftness, vision, prophetic knowledge

Boar - nature-based wealth, prosperity, success, protection, courage

Buffalo - prayer, abundance, survival needs met, good fortune, healing

Bulls’ horns - a good symbol in meditation for motivation

Butterfly - rebirth, the soul, transformation, the three phases of life

Cat - feminine energy, mystical power, used to keep the wearer safe in travel, wholeness

Chameleons - ever-changing future, inconsistency

Cheetah - speed, focus

Cougar - power, swiftness, balance

Cows - red cows are a symbol of hope, inspiring symbol for nurturing efforts

Coyote - trickster

Crane - longevity. A pair of cranes symbolizes “Long Marriage”

Cricket - good luck charm, singing, Spring, fertility

Crow - sacred law, gateway to supernatural, shape shifting, illusion

Deer - graceful gentleness, sensitivity, compassion, kindness

Dog - companionship, health, service, loyalty, protection, future prosperity

Dolphin - manna, joy, childlike play, helpfulness, breath of life, harmony, intelligence, self connection

Donkey - fertility, easy childbirth, efficiency, health, well-being, and luck

Dove - peace, innocence, fidelity, love, gentleness, kindnes

Dragonfly - good fortune, magic, vision, dreams, luck, and ancient knowledge, illusion

Dragon - wisdom due to long lives and potent magic, royalty, Emperor, eternity, courage, strength, rain, Spring

Eagle - courage, spirit, bravery, strength

Elephant - commitment, strength, astuteness

Elk - stamina, pride, power, majesty

Fish - miracles, providence, sea/water magic, good luck and prosperity, foresight, fortune, salmon in particular, are associated with knowledge

Fox - camouflage, adaptability, integration, tricksters, shape shifters, and possessors of great magic

Frog - healing, cleansing, messages, health, honesty, fluidity, purification

Gazelle - awareness

Giraffe - grounded vision

Goat - tenacity, diligence, can help to achieve goals, endure criticism, and stay safe. Goat’s fur or foot - an anti-evil talisman.

Goose - safe return, love of home

Grasshopper - nobility, prosperity

Hawk - nessenger, strength, foresight, truth

Hippopotamus - emotional depths

Horses - power, stamina, speed, transportation and communication - A black horse with a white marking on its forehead is lucky

Hummingbird - joy, pure love, celebration of life

Ladybug - delight, trust

Lamb - filial piety (dutiful respect or regard for parents).

Lion (baby) cubs - inspire mercy and gentleness.

Lion (grown) - inspire strength, courage

Lions - pride, nobility, cunning, courage, just laws, fairness, the sun, images can protect sacred ground.

Lizard - dreaming, foresight, ancient secrets

Lynx - secrets

Monkey - benevolence, drives away evil

Moose - self-esteem, assertiveness

Mountain Lion - wisdom, leadership

Mouse - frugality, rebirth, scrutiny

Opossum - strategy, diversion

Otter - medicine (woman), balanced feminine energy

Owl - deception, wisdom, clairvoyance, magic

Ox - evil spirits that disturb lakes, rivers, and seas

Peacock - wholeness, dignity, beauty, recognition, self assurance, pride

Pig - rebirth and rejuvenation

Porcupine - innocence

Rabbit - fear, fertility, moon magic, speed, swiftness, longevity, courage, strength

Raccoon - dexterity, disguise

Raven - magic

Robin - growth, renewal

Rooster - courageous, warlike disposition, warmth and life of the Universe

Scorpion - the “fire within” that often needs careful tending

Seal - inner voice

Sheep - sacrifice

Snake - cunning, evil, supernatural power

Spider - destiny, fate, weaving

Squirrel - gathering

Swan - grace

Tiger - courage, bravery, fierceness, strength, being in the now

Turtle - mother earth

Weasel - stealth

Whale - record keeper

Wolf - teacher, A Guide to the Sacred

Zebra - Individuality

PLANTS

Aloe- Healing, protection, affection

Amaryllis- Pride

Anemone- Forsaken

Angelica- Inspiration

Apple blossom- Preference

Arborvitae- Unchanging friendship

Aster- Symbol of Love, Daintiness

Basil- Good wishes

Bay- Glory

Begonia- Beware

Bittersweet- Truth

Black-eyed Susan- Justice

Bluebell- Humility, kindness

Candytuft- Indifference

Red carnation- My Heart Aches, admiration

- White carnation- Innocence, pure love, women’s good luck gift

- Pink carnation- I’ll never forget you

- Yellow carnation- Disdain, disappointment, rejection

Chamomile- Patience

Chives- Usefulness

Chrysanthemum- Cheerfulness

Clover, white- Think of me

Coreopsis- Always cheerful

Coriander- Hidden worth

Crocus- spring, Youthful gladness

Cumin- Fidelity

Cyclamen- Resignation and good-bye

Daffodil- Regard

Daisy- Innocence, hope

Dill- Powerful against evil

Edelweiss- Courage, devotion

Fennel- Flattery

Fern- Sincerity

Forget-me-not- True love memories

Gardenia- Secret love

Geranium- oak-leavedTrue friendship

Gladiolus- Remembrance

Goldenrod- Encouragement, good fortune

Heliotrope- Eternal love

Holly- Hope

Hollyhock- Ambition

Honeysuckle- Bonds of love

Horehound- Health

Hyacinth- Games and sport, playfulness, rashness

– Blue Hyacinth- Constancy of love

– Purple Hyacinth- Sorrow, forgiveness, regret

– Yellow Hyacinth- Jealousy

– White Hyacinth- Loveliness, prayers for someone

Hydrangea- Gratitude for being understood; frigidity and heartlessness

Hyssop- Sacrifice, cleanliness

Iris- A message

Ivy- Friendship, continuity

Jasmine- white- Sweet love

Lady’s-mantle- Comforting

Lavender- Devotion, virtue

Lemon balm- Sympathy

Lilac- Joy of youth

Lily, calla- Beauty

Lily, day- Chinese emblem for mother

Lily-of-the-valley- Sweetness, purity

Lotus Flower- Purity, enlightenment, self-regeneration, and rebirth

Magnolia- Love of nature

Marjoram- Joy and happiness

Mint- Virtue

Morning glory- Affection

Myrtle- Good luck and love in a marriage

Nasturtium- Patriotism

Oak- Strength

Oregano- Substance

Pansy- Thoughts

Parsley- Festivity

Peony- Bashful, happy life

Pine- Humility

Poppy, red- Consolation

Rhododendron- Danger, flee

Rose, red- Love, I love you.

Rose, dark crimson- Mourning

Rose, pink- Happiness

Rose, white- Purity, heavenly, I’m worthy of you

Rose, yellow- Jealousy, decrease of love

Rosemary- Remembrance

Rue- Grace, clear vision

Sage- Wisdom, immortality

Salvia, blue- I think of you

Salvia, red- Forever mine

Savory Spice-  interest

Sorrel- Affection

Southernwood- Constancy, jest

Sunflower- Adoration

Sweet pea- Pleasures

Sweet William- Gallantry

Sweet woodruff- Humility

Tansy- Hostile thoughts

Tarragon- Lasting interest

Thyme- Courage, strength

Tulip, red- Passion, declaration of love

Tulip, yellow- Sunshine in your smile

Valerian- Readiness

Violet- Loyalty, devotion, faithfulness, modesty

Wallflower- Faithfulness in adversity

Willow- Sadness

Yarrow- Everlasting love

Zinnia- Thoughts of absent friends

Color

Red: Excitement, energy, passion, love, desire, speed, strength, power, heat, aggression, danger, fire, blood, war, violence, all things intense and passionate, sincerity, happiness (Only in Japan)

Pink: love and romance, caring, tenderness, acceptance and calm.

Beige and ivory: symbolize unification. 

Ivory: symbolizes quiet and pleasantness. 

Beige: calm and simplicity.

Yellow: signifies joy, happiness, betrayal, optimism, idealism, imagination, hope, sunshine, summer, gold, philosophy, dishonesty, cowardice, jealousy, covetousness, deceit, illness, hazard and friendship.

Dark Blue: Symbolizes integrity, knowledge, power, and seriousness.

Blue: Peace, tranquility, cold, calm, stability, harmony, unity, trust, truth, confidence, conservatism, security, cleanliness, order, loyalty, sky, water, technology, depression, appetite suppressant.

Turquoise: calm. 

Teal: sophistication. 

Aquamarine: symbolizes water. 

Lighter turquoise: a feminine appeal.

Purple: Royalty, nobility, spirituality, ceremony, mysterious, transformation, wisdom, enlightenment, cruelty, honor, arrogance, mourning, temperance.

Lavender: femininity, grace and elegance.

Orange: Energy, balance, enthusiasm, warmth, vibrant, expansive, flamboyant, demanding of attention.

Green: Nature, environment, healthy, good luck, renewal, youth, spring, generosity, fertility, jealousy, service, inexperience, envy, misfortune, vigor.

Brown: Earth, stability, hearth, home, outdoors, reliability, comfort, endurance, simplicity, and comfort.

Gray: Security, reliability, intelligence, staid, modesty, dignity, maturity, solid, conservative, practical, old age, sadness, boring. Silver symbolizes calm.

White: Reverence, purity, birth, simplicity, cleanliness, peace, humility, precision, innocence, youth, winter, snow, good, sterility, marriage (Western cultures), death (Eastern cultures), cold, clinical.

Black: Power, sexuality, sophistication, formality, elegance, wealth, mystery, fear, evil, unhappiness, depth, style, sadness, remorse, anger, anonymity, underground, good technical color, mourning, death (Western cultures), austerity, detachment.

How To Write A Chase Scene

Before anyone takes off running, the reader needs to know why this matters. The chase can’t just be about two people running, it’s gotta have a reason. Is your hero sprinting for their life because the villain has a knife? Or maybe they’re chasing someone who just stole something valuable, and if they don’t catch them, it’s game over for everyone. Whatever the reason, make it clear early on. The higher the stakes, the more the reader will care about how this chase plays out. They’ll feel that surge of panic, knowing what’s on the line.

Sure, a chase scene is fast, people are running, dodging, maybe even falling. But not every second needs to be at full speed. If it’s too frantic from start to finish, the reader might get numb to the action. Instead, throw in some rhythm. Use quick, sharp sentences when things get intense, like someone stumbling or almost getting caught. But then slow it down for a second. Maybe they hit a dead end or pause to look around. Those brief moments of slow-down add suspense because they feel like the calm before the storm kicks up again.

Don’t let the setting just be a backdrop. The world around them should become a part of the chase. Maybe they’re tearing through a marketplace, dodging carts and knocking over tables, or sprinting down alleyways with trash cans crashing behind them. If they’re running through the woods, you’ve got low-hanging branches, roots, slippery mud, and the constant threat of tripping. Describing the environment makes the scene more vivid, but it also adds layers of tension. It’s not just two people running in a straight line, it’s two people trying to navigate through chaos.

Running isn’t easy, especially when you’re running for your life. This isn’t some smooth, graceful sprint where they look cool the whole time. Your character’s lungs should be burning, their legs aching, maybe their side starts to cramp. They’re gasping for air, barely holding it together. These details will remind the reader that this chase is taking a real toll. And the harder it gets for your character to keep going, the more the tension ramps up because the reader will wonder if they’ll actually make it.

Don’t make it too easy. The villain should almost catch your hero or the hero should almost grab the villain. But something happens last second to change the outcome. Maybe the villain’s fingers brush the hero’s coat as they sprint around a corner, but they manage to slip out of reach just in time. Or maybe your hero almost gets close enough to tackle the villain, but slips on some gravel, losing precious seconds.

And Don’t let the chase end in a way that feels too predictable. Whether your character gets away or is caught, it should be because of something clever. Maybe they spot a hiding place that’s almost impossible to notice, or they use their surroundings to mislead their pursuer. Or, the person chasing them pulls a fast one, Laying a trap, cutting off their escape route, or sending the hero down the wrong path. You want the end to feel earned, like it took quick thinking and ingenuity, not just dumb luck or fate.

if you have any questions or feedback on writing materials, please send me an email at Luna-azzurra@outlook.com ✍🏻

Words to describe facial expressions

Absent: preoccupied 

Agonized: as if in pain or tormented

Alluring: attractive, in the sense of arousing desire

Appealing: attractive, in the sense of encouraging goodwill and/or interest

Beatific: blissful

Black: angry or sad, or hostile

Bleak: hopeless

Blinking: surprise, or lack of concern

Blithe: carefree, lighthearted, or heedlessly indifferent

Brooding: anxious and gloomy

Bug eyed: frightened or surprised

Chagrined: humiliated or disappointed

Cheeky: cocky, insolent

Cheerless: sad

Choleric: hot-tempered, irate

Darkly: with depressed or malevolent feelings

Deadpan: expressionless, to conceal emotion or heighten humor

Despondent: depressed or discouraged

Doleful: sad or afflicted

Dour: stern or obstinate

Dreamy: distracted by daydreaming or fantasizing

Ecstatic: delighted or entranced

Faint: cowardly, weak, or barely perceptible

Fixed: concentrated or immobile

Gazing: staring intently

Glancing: staring briefly as if curious but evasive

Glazed: expressionless due to fatigue or confusion

Grim: fatalistic or pessimistic

Grave: serious, expressing emotion due to loss or sadness

Haunted: frightened, worried, or guilty

Hopeless: depressed by a lack of encouragement or optimism

Hostile: aggressively angry, intimidating, or resistant

Hunted: tense as if worried about pursuit

Jeering: insulting or mocking

Languid: lazy or weak

Leering: sexually suggestive

Mild: easygoing

Mischievous: annoyingly or maliciously playful

Pained: affected with discomfort or pain

Peering: with curiosity or suspicion

Peeved: annoyed

Pleading: seeking apology or assistance

Quizzical: questioning or confused

Radiant: bright, happy

Sanguine: bloodthirsty, confident

Sardonic: mocking

Sour: unpleasant

Sullen: resentful

Vacant: blank or stupid looking

Wan: pale, sickly

Wary: cautious or cunning

Wide eyed: frightened or surprised

Withering: devastating

Wrathful: indignant or vengeful

Wry: twisted or crooked to express cleverness or a dark or ironic feeling

I remember you had a post on your old blog, about how to fall in love with your story again. Do you think you still have it around somewhere, WQA? That post had some life-saving advice that could come handy for someone!

Getting Excited About Your Story Again

Oh! I didn’t realize I never re-posted it here, so thank you! Here it is, plus a couple links to newer, similar posts with more ideas. I hope this helps!

1) Cast your characters, or if you’re artistic, try drawing them. If you’ve got Photoshop skills, try making a movie-style poster for your story.

2) Create a tumblr gallery filled with images that inspire you where your story is concerned. These could be images of things in your story, things you want to include in your story, or just things that make you think of your story.

3) Make a playlist of songs to serve as a soundtrack for your story.

4) Make a list of five things you love about every character, five things you love about the plot, and five things you love about the setting.

5) Write a short essay about the important themes in your story and why they matter to you. See if similar themes run through any of your other stories.

6) Get a fun and easy going friend or sibling to play “radio show” with you. Have them interview you about your story as though you were an author talking about their novel on a radio show. Try to be serious about it for as long as you can–which won’t be long because it’s super cheesy but lots of fun.

7) Try to write a poem about the plot of your story as though your protagonist was the one writing it.

8) Draw maps and floor plans of your setting and sets. Go window shopping online to look for furniture and props to fill your character’s home with.

9) Make a Wordle using words from your story.

10) Read your story out loud as if you were reading it to a group of fans. Try to imagine their reactions at different points in the story. When would their attention be the most rapt? When would they smile? When would they sniffle? When would they cheer?

Feeling Unmotivated with WIP Getting Unstuck: Motivation Beyond Mood Boards & Playlists

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Have a question? My inbox is always open, but make sure to check my FAQ and post master lists first to see if I’ve already answered a similar question. :)

Guide: How to Rekindle Your Motivation to Write

1) Find inspiration photos - create a folder on your desktop or browser and fill it with inspiration photos for your WIP. You can search for photos on Google Image Search or photo sites like Pixabay and Pexels.

2) Make a playlist - music can be very inspiring when you’re writing or planning a story, so try making a playlist for your WIP. You can do Google searches for things like “songs about love” or “songs about war” if you want songs that fit a specific theme. You can also look through the music you own and see if anything reminds you of your story.

3) Make aesthetics or mood boards - aesthetics and mood boards are photo collages that you make for your story. They can be general, for your whole story, for characters, for the setting, or even for a particular scene or event. Aesthetics are fun to make and can be very inspirational when you’re writing.

4) Draw a map or make a layout - try making a map of wherever your story takes place, whether that’s a town, kingdom, or a whole country or world. You can even draw layouts of things like high schools, houses, or other buildings in your story. Not only are they fun to do, but it can be a helpful tool for visualizing your setting, and sometimes it can lead to ideas about scenes or plot points.

5) Do a character interview - imagine that you’ve pulled your character out of a story into the room and now have the opportunity to interview them. What questions would you ask them? What do you want to know about them that you don’t already know? What do you think the reader would want to know? What might be pertinent to the story that you haven’t thought about yet?

6) Do a TV Crew follow around - no matter when or where your story takes place, imagine that you’ve dropped an invisible TV crew into your story’s world to follow your character around through an average day. Follow them from the moment they wake up until the moment they go to bed that night. What are they like when they wake up? What is their morning routine? What do they eat for breakfast? How do they get ready? What do they do throughout the day? Who do they interact with? What else do they eat and drink? What do they do for fun or relaxation? How to they make money or meet their basic needs? What is their bedtime routine like?

7) Try a writing tool - there are all kinds of interesting writing tools out there, both online and things, apps, and physical things. Story Cubes, plot generators, plot twist generators, the Storymatic, StoryForge, Story Dice, tarot cards, the Writer’s Toolbox… just to name a few!

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Have a question? My inbox is always open, but make sure to check my FAQ and post master lists first to see if I’ve already answered a similar question. :)

I NEED HELP!!

I am writing a fic which includes wolfstar, jily, dorlene, rose killer and… STRICTLY?!?!?!

Do you guys want a multiple pov or just a Remus?

Lemme know your ideas for what dances you would like to see! (Foxtrot, American smooth, samba ect.)

Also what songs? I have a few lined up myself but I’m wondering what songs you guys would like!

I also NEED a title!

It will be on AO3, under the name My_Leige123.

Hope you can help me tumbler users

Ideas of fatal character flaws? :3

Hi :)

Fatal character flaws

Aristotle calls this ‘Hamartia’ - a tragic flaw or error. It can be anything happening to good or bad characters, even otherwise good character traits and with good intentions that ultimately lead to the character’s demise. They are often traits that don’t neccessarily lead to someone’s downfall, but can if they’re done to an extreme. So think of these otherwise normal ‘flaws’ as extremes.

ignorance - not seeking helpful knowledge

selfishness - not thinking about others

curiosity - getting involved in things they shouldn’t get involved in

impetuousness - being too passionate/ not thinking before acting

pride - not giving in/ not taking help from others 

hubris - exaggerated opinion of oneself/ thinking nothing can get to them

lack of self-control - can’t help/stop themself

indecisiveness* - not being able to make decisions

confirmation bias - only taking in information that supports one’s own belief 

arrogance -  thinking they are superior

Have fun!

- Jana

*Interesting example: Chidi from The Good Place. A morally great character who is so extreme in always trying to make the right choice and therefore not being able to make a decision until it is proven to be right, it basically lands him in hell.

I've had this little idea in my head for a while now, so I decided to sit down and plot it out.

Disclaimer: This isn't meant to be some sort of One-Worksheet-Fits-All situation. This is meant to be a visual representation of some type of story planning you could be doing in order to develop a plot!

Lay down groundwork! (Backstory integral to the beginning of your story.) Build hinges. (Events that hinge on other events and fall down like dominoes) Suspend structures. (Withhold just enough information to make the reader curious, and keep them guessing.)

And hey, is this helps... maybe sit down and write a story! :)

hey boy don't kill yourself. green's dictionary of slang is available online and allows you to explore 500 years of english vulgarity. you can search by part of speech, source, time period, etymology, and usage. there's a whole category for gay slang. they even have specific citations listed so you can see the exact context for yourself. boy did you know that in 1927 "to kneel at the altar" was slang for "to sodomize"

100 Dialogue Tags You Can Use Instead of “Said”

For the writers struggling to rid themselves of the classic ‘said’. Some are repeated in different categories since they fit multiple ones (but those are counted once so it adds up to 100 new words). 

1. Neutral Tags 

Straightforward and unobtrusive dialogue tags: 

Added, Replied, Stated, Remarked, Responded, Observed, Acknowledged, Commented, Noted, Voiced, Expressed, Shared, Answered, Mentioned, Declared.

2. Questioning Tags 

Curious, interrogative dialogue tags:

Asked, Queried, Wondered, Probed, Inquired, Requested, Pondered, Demanded, Challenged, Interjected, Investigated, Countered, Snapped, Pleaded, Insisted.

3. Emotive Tags 

Emotional dialogue tags:

Exclaimed, Shouted, Sobbed, Whispered, Cried, Hissed, Gasped, Laughed, Screamed, Stammered, Wailed, Murmured, Snarled, Choked, Barked.

4. Descriptive Tags 

Insightful, tonal dialogue tags: 

Muttered, Mumbled, Yelled, Uttered, Roared, Bellowed, Drawled, Spoke, Shrieked, Boomed, Snapped, Groaned, Rasped, Purred, Croaked.

5. Action-Oriented Tags 

Movement-based dialogue tags: 

Announced, Admitted, Interrupted, Joked, Suggested, Offered, Explained, Repeated, Advised, Warned, Agreed, Confirmed, Ordered, Reassured, Stated.

6. Conflict Tags 

Argumentative, defiant dialogue tags:

Argued, Snapped, Retorted, Rebuked, Disputed, Objected, Contested, Barked, Protested, Countered, Growled, Scoffed, Sneered, Challenged, Huffed.

7. Agreement Tags 

Understanding, compliant dialogue tags: 

Agreed, Assented, Nodded, Confirmed, Replied, Conceded, Acknowledged, Accepted, Affirmed, Yielded, Supported, Echoed, Consented, Promised, Concurred.

8. Disagreement Tags 

Resistant, defiant dialogue tags: 

Denied, Disagreed, Refused, Argued, Contradicted, Insisted, Protested, Objected, Rejected, Declined, Countered, Challenged, Snubbed, Dismissed, Rebuked.

9. Confused Tags 

Hesitant, uncertain dialogue tags:

Stammered, Hesitated, Fumbled, Babbled, Mumbled, Faltered, Stumbled, Wondered, Pondered, Stuttered, Blurted, Doubted, Confessed, Vacillated.

10. Surprise Tags

Shock-inducing dialogue tags:

Gasped, Stunned, Exclaimed, Blurted, Wondered, Staggered, Marvelled, Breathed, Recoiled, Jumped, Yelped, Shrieked, Stammered.

Note: everyone is entitled to their own opinion. No I am NOT telling people to abandon said and use these. Yes I understand that said is often good enough, but sometimes you WANT to draw attention to how the character is speaking. If you think adding an action/movement to your dialogue is 'good enough' hate to break it to you but that ruins immersion much more than a casual 'mumbled'. And for the last time: this is just a resource list, CALM DOWN. Hope that covers all the annoyingly redundant replies :)

Looking For More Writing Tips And Tricks? 

Check out the rest of Quillology with Haya; a blog dedicated to writing and publishing tips for authors!

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How to show emotions

Part V

How to show grief

a vacant look

slack facial expressions

shaky hands

trembling lips

swallowing

struggling to breathe

tears rolling down their cheeks

How to show fondness

smiling with their mouth and their eyes

softening their features

cannot keep their eyes off of the object of their fondness

sometimes pouting the lips a bit

reaching out, wanting to touch them

How to show envy

narrowing their eyes

rolling their eyes

raising their eyebrows

grinding their teeth

tightening jaw

chin poking out

pouting their lips

forced smiling

crossing arms

shifting their gaze

clenching their fists

tensing their muscles

then becoming restless/fidgeting

swallowing hard

stiffening

holding their breath

blinking rapidly

exhaling sharply

How to show regret

scrubbing a hand over the face

sighing heavily

downturned mouth

slightly bending over

shoulders hanging low

hands falling to the sides

a pained expression

heavy eyes

staring down at their feet

More: How to write emotions Masterpost

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Circling vs. Zigzagging Conflicts

Nearly every writer understands that a story needs conflict. The protagonist sets off to fulfill a goal, runs into an antagonistic force, and their struggle creates conflict. This should happen in the story as a whole, this should happen in acts, and it should happen in almost every scene--the difference is that the smaller the structural unit, the smaller the antagonist and conflict (simplistically speaking).

Today I want to talk about a sneaky problem I sometimes see when editing manuscripts, one that relates to conflicts.

Sometimes the writer simply “circles” the conflict.

What I mean is that after a given conflict, nothing has actually changed in the story. We just completed a “circle.”

For example, say the protagonist is a favorite target of the schoolyard bully. They get into a verbal fight, but when it's over, nothing's different. The conflict didn't have any consequences.

It may not sound that bad.

And if it only happens once in a while, and there are enough other conflicts going on, it may not be.

But if this happens repeatedly or this is the main conflict, the plot isn't progressing. It just did a circle and the characters ended up in the same situation they were before the encounter. Essentially, no matter how exciting the scene may seem to be, you could still cut it and the story would be the same.

Let's look at an even less obvious example.

The protagonist needs to get Object X from Character B.

The protagonist finds a way to successfully steal it.

But then immediately afterward, Character B steals it back.

The scene ends, and the protagonist is back at square one.

It doesn't sound that bad, does it?

And if it only happens once in a while, and there are enough other conflicts going on, it may not be.

But if this sort of thing happens repeatedly--over and over and over--the plot isn't progressing. You're just going back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. And if we just arc that path a bit, guess what? It creates a circle.

Another example:

The protagonist has a problem.

But she's not taking action to solve the problem. 

Yes, she reacts emotionally to the problem.

She may even sometimes come up with a plan for how to try to solve the problem.

But she doesn't execute it. Or, some other problem comes up that keeps her from executing it.

And rather than come up with and execute a new plan to address that problem.

She just reacts emotionally to the problem.

Imagine this going on for multiple scenes.

The plot isn't progressing. She's just ruminating.

It still feels like the text is just circling the conflict.

Please know I'm not saying a story can never do these things. On rare occasions, circling conflicts can be useful, like when the point is to show the audience how some things don't change. My first example may arguably work near the beginning of the story, to show what the protagonist's day-to-day life is like. My second example can sometimes work as a frustrating irony. And my last example, well . . . don't do my last example. Okay, okay, maybe it could work to show off how the protagonist is incapable of or has the flaw of never moving forward (and chances are it'd probably be better to illustrate that through summary, rather than scene).

And some degree of circling can work, when the story needs to end with the characters and world in the same place they started, like in a serial, but note that usually through the installment, there isn't much circling.

And often, even if the external circumstances complete a circle, the journey changed the character internally in some significant way.

BUT if you are repeatedly writing examples like those above, where the situation at the end of a scene or act is essentially the same as it was at the beginning of the scene or act, then you aren't moving the story forward.

Sure, conflict may show up on the page, but the text is just circling it.

Instead, it's much more effective to create a zigzag. 

If we wanted to keep this super simple, we might say the scene (or act) needs to move from a positive situation to a negative situation, or a negative situation to a positive situation. Or, a positive situation to a better situation, or a negative situation to a worse situation. Essentially:

+ --> -

- --> +

+ --> ++

- --> --

This is a good starting point, but I admit, it sometimes feels oversimplified to me.

In any case, the situation the character is in, has changed.

The story didn't do a circle. It did a zigzag (or zigzigger or zagzagger). 

The protagonist had a goal, encountered an antagonist, had a conflict, and the conflict came to a definitive outcome (if only on the small scale for that scene). It hit a climax or turning point.

And that outcome carries consequences.

The protagonist gets in an argument with the bully and gets suspended for his language. If he's suspended, his parents will ground him, and he won't get to go on an upcoming date with his crush. It's a setback.

Character B steals Object X back and in the process, mortally wounds the protagonist. Now the protagonist needs to get help before they die.

The protagonist takes action to solve the new problem, and not only succeeds, but manages to solve her original problem at the same time.

But often just adding consequences isn't enough. We need to make sure the consequences aren't or can't be undone, at least not easily or coincidentally. We don't have the protagonist's dad have a serendipitous change of heart and simply allow the protagonist to go on the date.

Don't undo what you just did (generally speaking). 

If the protagonist ended with a bigger or new problem, make him put in the effort to try to solve it. (See the "No, and . . ." vs. "Yes, but . . . " rule under "Disaster.")

And don't forget my "acid test" for plot progression. At the end of the scene (or act), ask, did the protagonist's current goal and/or plan shift? If the answer is no, chances are you did a circle. (Or you at least left things stagnating). If the answer is yes, something changed.

As I mentioned above, sometimes the change is internal. 

Maybe Character B did simply steal Object X back, but maybe that leads to the protagonist realizing he doesn't want Object X as much as he wants revenge on Character B. He hatches a plan to exact that.

While that may not be as strong as the protagonist getting mortally wounded, it's better than nothing changing, and the experience does change the direction of the story.

Personally, I'd still be cautious of writing such a situation, though. In most types of stories, we want consequences to be both internal and external.

But that topic could be another post.

So in closing: zigzagging conflicts is better than circling them.

Adieu.

Hello! Tips on drafting and how much detail is too much?

Let’s see, my main tips would be to treat the first draft as if you’re telling yourself the story, the second draft like you’re organizing and enhancing the story, and the third draft as if you’re preparing for your best friend to read the story. I think this is a pretty good gauge for how much detail you add to the narrative each time you reread and edit. And it’s not about how much detail there is, it’s about how effective it is at making the story clear and immersive. 

Here’s some resources that might help. There’s also an entire category in my masterlist dedicated to the drafting process. 

Using Vocabulary

Describing Where Your Characters Are

Writing Intense Scenes

Writing The First Chapter

Balancing Detail & Development

When To Use “Felt”

Showing Vs Telling

How To Better Your Vocabulary & Description

Powering Through The Zero-Draft Phase

Getting Words on The Page

Sticking To A Story (Working on Multiple Projects)

Writing Your Way Through The Plot Fog

I hope this advice and these resources are helpful, and if you have any other questions feel free to leave them here :)

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Quick editing tip: Passing time

Hey all, here’s a quick tip about showing the passage of short amounts of time in a scene. I see a lot of beats like this:

She hesitated

He paused

A few seconds later

There was a long silence

He waited for her to answer

She didn’t respond

Instead of telling us there’s a brief moment of silence or pause in your scene, try showing us by creating the feeling that time has passed through action, description, or inner monologue. Here are a few examples.

Before:

“Are you coming or not?”

He waited for her to answer, but she didn’t respond.

“Clare? Did you hear me?”

“Huh?”

After:

“Are you coming or not?”

Clare scrolled through her phone, her face illuminating with a eerie blue glow.

“Clare? Did you hear me?”

“Huh?”

Before:

Jared lingered at the suspect’s front gate. If this guy didn’t answer Jared’s questions, he was screwed.

“Hey you!” a voice shouted. “Get off my property!”

Jared hesitated. Finally, he turned to face the man. “I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

After:

Jared lingered at the suspect’s front gate. If this guy didn’t answer Jared’s questions, he was screwed.

“Hey you!” a voice shouted. “Get off my property!”

Jared patted his holster. He had a gun, but he certainly didn’t want to use it. Taking a deep breath, he turned to face the man. “I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

Not only does creating a pause instead of describing a pause allow your reader to feel the moment more vividly, it gives you a chance to explain what exactly that pause is about. People hesitate, pause, don’t respond, etc. for all kinds of reasons. Give us as much insight as you can into your weird quiet moment.

Of course, you don’t need to do this every single time. Sometimes it’s fine to say “he paused” or “the room was quiet for a moment”—it could be the best choice for that scene. But look back through your draft and see if you’ve used those “telling” descriptions more often than you needed to. If so, try to create the feeling of a pause—perhaps one that gives the reader a bit more information—using these techniques.

Hope this helps!